Shoulda been you, Weintraub.

Wait a sec. What are the hankies for?

Gay porn mustache on Deadspin Gay Day!

"No Internet. NO Internet!"

@Weed Against Speed: In case you eat lunch before reading the column.

Any truth to the rumor Stuart Scott is making a special appearance tomorrow? Lemme know.

I'm still in denial.

Whenever that video is posted, I like to think that Will is only pretending to sound like a coked-out gay man.

I kid, I kid!

Retire The Balls' mustache and raise it to the rafters.

Wonder what kind of ending to expect:

Controversial, like The Sopranos?
Weepy, like Six Feet Under?
Picture of a giant schlong, like Boogie Nights?

@Chicago Jones: what the fuck is that about? What the fuck is THAT about?

/warren sapp

Is he going to end with the clockwise swirl?

Are the many different incarnations of SuperMike going to be included in The Dead People Montage?

@Gourmet Spud: Only if we find out A.J. dies at the hands of that guy who handed in his commenting priveleges after the Benoit column.

@Gourmet Spud:

AJ wakes up and he's still at The Black Table with Will.

@UkraineNotWeak: And are we going to have a tribute to the dead of both Missouri and Kansas?

That picture will never fail to make me tingly.

...

In a funny way. Man. Weirdos.

Why does Charlie Kelly have to go?

Whatever...Daulerio is gonna pull a Jordan and "unretire" 50 times.

Who wouldn't thump Amy Blair's plump tush?

needless to say I am sure each of that will read that NSFW article tomorrow will also be fired.

@Gourmet Spud: Given the NSFW content of the last few Oddsmakers, I'd say prepare for giant schlong. And a stern warning from your manager for reading it at work.

@Chuck_Knoblockhead: No, I heard there was a knuckle involved.

@Chicago Jones: All Balls All The Time!

@Gourmet Spud: a giant schlong, pissing on a computer.

Which one of the Ladies... will stand in as AJ's Bette Midler tomorrow?

I nominate The Starter Wife.

Daulerio has nothing on Gun Aerobics.

I won't be checking the post until after work on Friday, since my job pays the mortgage and all.

Thank you, A.J. The Super Bowl Report last year brought tears to my eyes. You will be missed. Now get the fuck out of her.

@j-no: Now get the fuck out of her.

That wasn't too Freudian.

@j-no: Are you sure you didn't mean, "Now get the fuck out of here?"

Unless you're seeing something the rest of us aren't!

@j-no: @The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: @Chamomiles Davis:

Whenever I use that sentence, it's followed by, "...she's my wife!"

@Gourmet Spud: Ba-dump TISH!

Thank you, folks, we're her(e) all week. Enjoy the bluefish!

@The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: @Chamomiles Davis: @Gourmet Spud: Wow. I uh, well, um.

/red faced.

Everyone chip in a dollar so we can get The Balls a fuck lion for a parting gift.

Nice to see that A.J has infected a lot of people.

I mean affected. Sorry.

Since the column will arrive while I am at work (and therefore blocked), let me say thanks for the great articles, and I really hope this one includes another story about The Balls pissing on himself. It never fails to amuse.

At the conclusion of Daulerio's final column we pull back to reveal that he only exists in a dream Supermike is having.

Alright, SSW and CO gone, that means only one of the Unfunny Trio still exists. I'm looking at you Football Guys.

@Chuck_Knoblockhead:
He uses a knuckle.

Is he being replaced by a column with a title that includes the words "the" and "closer"? I'm waiting for the site to be re-named "The Deadspin Closer".

Daulerio is Charlie Day, Charlie Day is Daulerio!!

I must have missed the scene that picture is from in the episode "Charlie Gets Molested."

Will looks like James Spader in that clip...

Uterus Castle sounds like a Japanese game show.