Deadspin
Even though the infighting between Scott Rolen and Tony LaRussa made the trade pretty much inevitable, we were still sad to see Scott Rolen traded to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus. We like Glaus, don't get us wrong; the guy's a better hitter, younger, has a more reasonable contract and isn't afraid to take a steroid or two if production is starting to drop. That's our kind of player!
It's just that we had really come to love Rolen, in spite of everything. And you can't overstate how popular this guy is among small-town Midwesterners. He's exactly the type of player they love: He's not a showboat, he hustles all the time, he looks like he takes IVs of corn starch before every game and he's, of course, white. Not a bad combination for a Midwestern ballplayer.
Rolen will always be remembered fondly by Cardinals fans, but for the same reason Jim Edmonds, David Eckstein and, yes, Tony LaRussa will ultimately be remembered fondly: Because he finally won a World Series. Of that amazing 2004 team, from just three-plus years ago, of the big four of Albert Pujols, Larry Walker, Edmonds and Rolen, only Pujols remains. We get older, faster, every year.
Passing Glaus [Viva El Birdos]
Comments
As a Phillies fan, let me be the first to say...
"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"
What? They won a World Series? Are you sure?? The Cardinals??
Fuck.
the guy's a better hitter, younger, has a more reasonable contract and isn't afraid to take a steroid or two if production is starting to drop. That's our kind of player!
Why don't you just start Ankiel at third then?
Shoulda been you, Isringhausen.
/pitchers and catchers can report to my nuts; fuck baseball
I think the Cardinals should trade Albert Pujols and Adam Kennedy to the Blue Jays for chemistry purposes.
/Unbiased opinion
The trade originated when Troy Glaus gave David Eckstein a piggy back ride, and it just wasn't the same.
Guy who took steroids, hits HRs > guy who is always hurt, past his prime, fights with coach
Don't worry, Will. Toronto fans promise to be as indifferent to Rolen as we were to Glaus.
Hey Rolen, have fun in Canada, bitch.
Out of respect for Lady Andrea's feelings, I will withhold snark.
That's quite an O face, Scott.
Is this still pending Glaus passing a physical? And will this physical reveal a third ear or symptoms of past tractor-pulling with teeth?
Troy Glaus just reinjured his shoulder while patting himself on the back for getting out of Canada. Sorry, Will.
A PED user on the Cards? Surely Tony LaRussa won't stand for that!
As a Cubs fan, i'm sad to see the Cardinals fill that hole they had at third base for the past couple years.
Somebody cue up Boyz II Men for Will.
Wait, no love for So Taguchi? Guess failing that 'white' part is a bitch.
At first blush, I like the trade for the Jays, but that's also entirely contingent upon how many kids Rolen slaps the bejesus out of in his first promo commercial.
Wait, didn't the Red Sox win in 2004?
Are the Cardinals trying to reassemble the 2002 Angels?
Any partners Deadspin LLP around? Quick question. gmail: 'speedreader'
You're gonna miss Rolen? Were you abused as a child? Rolen has drunk beer at my home while in the Phils' system and I couldn't stand him then. Much less now.
@Hank Africa:
I don't know, I feel like Frank Thomas' effort is the unbreakable 73 home runs in a season of that genre.*
*Replete with drug use
Hot corners haven't been swapped under the radar like this since Devious A. Honey and Silicon Slick traded spots up by Columbia back in the late-90s.
And you can't overstate how despised this guy is by Philadelphians.
Fixed.
threadjack
LADYVICTORY updates blog, calls Eddie Murphy a "NATIONAL TREASURE."
Not only can she not possibly be real, she just has to be a Deadspinner's parody.
[myespn.go.com]
/threadjack
Will LaRussa spike the punch at Rolen's Goodbye party?
Or will John Gibbons provide it at his Immigration debut?
My five Rolen shirts and jerseys weep after this trade.
/wish I was joking
threadjack
LADYVICTORYUSA updates blog, declares Eddie Murphy a "NATIONAL TREASURE."
Not only am I convinced she's fake, but I'm starting to think she's one of us. IN DISGUISE.
[myespn.go.com]
/threadjack
@1980DavidBowieFromTheMusicVideoAshesToAshes: Whoops, damn you Nibbles!
@Weed Against Speed: Its gotta be "end of the road"
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:
Did you call him out for drinking slowly, then have him refuse to drink for the rest of the party?
This guy is a piece of crap. Hates Philly and Bowa, forces a trade to Cardinals, and pulls the exact same shit. This guy is one team away from being Terrel Owens.
@1980DavidBowieFromTheMusicVideoAshesToAshes:
Has to be a parody. Nobody, not even Eddie Murphy, thought any aspect of "norbit" was funny.
@AugieOjedaFanClub: Though it's good to know that Klaus has regained living room privileges.
@crazyjoedavola:
Nah, Rolen would never cry for his team like T.O. did. I'd say he's one team away (and about 200 days on the DL away) from being J.D. Drew.
When you discuss Rolen, only one name comes to mind:
Brooks Robinson
LaRussa has hired Hee Seop Choi and Alex Citron to play on whatever team Toronto faces on Opening Day.
Of that amazing 2004 team, from just three-plus years ago, of the big four of Albert Pujols, Larry Walker, Edmonds and Rolen, only Pujols remains. We get older, faster, every year.
So old that you forgot when your team won the World Series.
But, hey! Here's to that unforgettable 2004 NL pennant!
@matt_t: That would work as well but I was thinking of "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday".
Either way, I hate a little bit for knowing those two songs were by Boyz II Men.
And while we're discussing baseball, MLBTradeRumors is accepting applications for slaves...err, unpaid assistants, and I applied so that I can pimp my small, as-of-now worthless baseball site. Please, wish me luck, and possibly sacrifice a virgin goat for me.
@ithacabaron: So true. I emailed someone today about Bacon Pants and used Rolen as an example of how Philadelphians treat people who leave us with scorn and derision.
@Clare:
"So true. I emailed someone today about Bacon Pants and used Rolen as an example of how Philadelphians treat people."
Fixedit!
@Theodore_Donald_Kerabatsos:
guy who takes steroids > guy who took steroids
@racistmascot_inc: +1
@racistmascot_inc: Youse need to shut ya fuckin' face.
/I kid because I love
@AugieOjedaFanClub: You too.
@twoeightnine: And here I am thinking "Pie Traynor."
I guess I'm just hungry.
@racistmascot_inc: I agree with Clare
@AugieOjedaFanClub: -1
@Clare:
Oh Clare, you know it's just because I'm jealous that Cleveland only gets to be the second most bitter city in America.
At least Cardinals fans (Some of the smartest fans in baseball!) can be assured that production and injuries never seem to move in opposite directions once a player is "no longer" doing steroids.
@Flametown:
I always liked the Bob Ojeda Fan Club more, you get a free foam finger with membership.
So Gary Gaetti gets another shot at 3rd?
Rob Deer and Mickey Tettleton loooove Troy Glaus.