Deadspin
There was this couple-of-month stretch when poker on TV was actually sort of cool, right before the world discovered the ancient game of Bejeweled. But now poker needs a renaissance. It needs a voice. It needs — you guessed it — radio coverage.
World Series of Poker Radio can now be heard on more than 200 stations, which is great news for all those people who are as embarrassed to admit their poker fetish as much as they are to confess they know all the words to "At Seventeen" and sing it loudly while driving to work whenever I hear it on the radio. Erm, when they hear it on the radio.
If they do some play-by-play poker — and sweet bountiful Ra, I hope they do — it might sound a little bland at first. But they can always spice up the action with some Orson Welles-inspired plotlines.
"Moneymaker calls. Hellmuth and Moneymaker stare blankly at each other. And the river card is ... the six of spades. Hellmuth and Moneymaker stare blankly at each other. Hellmuth looks to be doing some kind of nervous tic with his chips. Is he going to bet? No ... no, not yet. Now he— oh my GOD, THE ZOMBIE OF STU UNGAR IS EATING THE SKULL OF DANIEL NEGREANU! ISN'T THERE ANYONE ON THE AIR?"
World Series of Poker® Available To More Than 200 Stations [WSoP]
Comments
Stu Ungar was the tits. Quite possibly the greatest gin player that ever lived - even better than that snooty Omar Shariff.
Well, this sure takes the fun out of those occasional Jennifer Tilly appearances.
How are we supposed to know what Annie Duke's breasts look like on a given day?
How will I know what cards they have?
Oh, nevermind, I don't care.
World Series of Poker Tour: Ruining E"S"PN "Classic" since 2005.
Yessir, Norm Chad yakkin' it up on the old yak-box.
As long as it doesn't have Drew Barrymore in it, I'm down.
BAH GAWD, KING! IT'S THE 6 OF HEARTS! PHIL IVEY HAS JUST WON THE WORLD TITLE! AND PHIL HELLMUTH IS ABOUT TO MURDER PHIL IVEY! LOOK AT HIS EYES!
/jim ross
Great to listen to on those long road trips from the check cashing place to the blood bank!
Great news! Can't wait to catch the ESPN Radio Classic's replay!
Is Gus Johnson doing the commentary? I'd tune in for that.
Will they mic up the players so I can hear that one weirdo yell, "CHARK", instead of "SHARK" God I hate poker in all media forms.
PROGRAMMING NOTE
Immediately following "World Series of Poker Radio": Mike Matusow and Phil Hellmuth in Pardon the Pretentiousness.
Seriously though, they need to get Gus Johnson on the call or I don't care.
I've been told I have a poker face made for radio.
/rimshot
Big blind passes to seat 4, back to big blind, back to seat 4, seat 4 holds it, holds it, HOLDS IT!!!!!!
and folds.
How long until we get spelling bees on the radio?
Isn't part of the fun of watching poker drooling at the large piles of fake money they show as the prize?
I AM NOW CUTTING OFF PHYLLIS'S HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW!
Back to you, Norm.
@buttons: Or a Scrabble tournament.
Poker on the radio?
I'm straight.
@Afino: AS GOD AS MY WITNESS KING, HELLMUTH HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF! THIS AIN'T BALLET, FOLKS!
Every single day, my faith in humanity erodes just a little bit more. I mean, they do this and I still can't catch a bingo broadcast.
Please use "The Gambler" as the intro music. Kenny Rgers could use the royalties.
Can't believe poker made it on radio before World's Strongest Man.
Poker? Eh.
Call me when they get to backgammon.
@StupidAngelos:
GOOD GOD! TH...THAT'S ALLEN CUNNINGHAM'S MUSIC!
Poker on the radio? Stern has been doing that for years
Still, nothing beats cribbage via Morse Code.
Weekday Sussman? Wonders never cease.
Wow, I don't know what folded faster, Ivey facing Lederer's diamonds, or a lawn chair facing my third wife's ace...
/Norman Chad
Now if they just played the sound of the cards being shuffled that might be kind of soothing.
@buttons: @I Party With Smoot: I'm waiting for the World Series of Bingo. The radio coverage of it of course.
@I Party With Smoot: I Party With Smoot, line one, please.
Poker on the radio? Boo. TV on the Radio? Yay!!!
-parkslopehipdude2006
@ClueHeywood: Let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude.
In case you still haven't recovered from the sheer joy of listening to paint peel live.
@Larry Burns: He plays the part of a loser to perfection.
Can't wait for the Spanish Broadcast:
TODO ENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
@ClueHeywood:
RRRRRINGinginginging...
Will there be secret messages and decoder rings?
--ovaltinefan1955
@Fuck Lion: "HA Haaaaaah...here we are, 4 cards on the table, one card left in the deck that can save him...Daniel Negreanu's looking for the ace and heeeee......GOT IT!!! AND THAT'S IT! After leading for the entire hand! Phil Ivey! HEART! BREAK! CITY!"
/Gus Johnson
Harry Doyle: One royal flush? That's all we got? One goddamn royal flush:
Other guy: You can't say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway.
Now, when they call a spade a spade, we'll have no choice but to believe them.
i hope my "Go Fish" tuesday night game and "Uno" thursday games get picked up on radio simulcasts too.
I know you arent't talking about this:
"When I was seventeen, I drank some really good beer. I drank some really good beer I purchased with a fake ID. His name was Brian McGee. I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was seventeen."
/Homer Simpson
Personally, I'll stick to reading live coverage of the World Series of Darts over an Edison Universal Stock Ticker.
@Lady Andrea: Dwight, what is on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo? Yes, that is Animal from the Muppet Babies.
I was thinking of "Edge of Seventeen." Although "At Seventeen," while not a song you can really sing loudly is equally acceptable as embarrassing if you know it.
</shovel>
Harry Doyle: That's all he had, one goddamn pair?
Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.
Nothing new here. 'Dutch' Obama got his start in show business broadcasting poker on the radio.
That KILLED on Wonkette.
@Suss:
Winger > Stevie Nicks > Janis Ian
Fuck poker.
(I don't really have a joke. Sorry.)
"She's only seventeen" > "At Seventeen". That's really the song you want to sing at the top of your lungs with the windows down. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview with Chris Hansen to attend to.
It really speaks volumes about the staying power of poker as it is currently going technologically backwards.
@katni: Janis Ian, Dyke.