No more ludicrous than Oberweis.

Ditka is so dumb he makes Lynn Swann look politically savvy.

Button down shirt, tie, BEARS SWEATER, jacket.

Genius.

Okay, but what if it was Hurricane Ditka?

"I have a lot of commitments that I've made previous to this coming up, some obligations to my partners here at (his) restaurant. And therefore, it's something that I can't do at this time."

Ditka added, "I would also lose by an embarrassingly large margin. So no thanks."

Ditka's far too busy hawking his Mike Ditka Wine and Mike Ditka Cigars to have time for this politics shit.

mini-Ditka would have won 200% of the vote

Ditka - 398709% of the vote
Obama - -12%

We should put Mike Ditka on the border!

So he'd get stabbed.

@Tuffy: I think lunacy is the secret ingredient in the ice cream that makes it tasty.

Would his Lieutenant Governor have worn a wedding dress on the cover of some upstart new magazine?

Watch out for da bear... market.

What if the ticket was Ditka/mini-Ditka?

Ditka: 4,756,132
Obama: 3,269

Da Bears!

Ditka, 965,421 electoral college votes. Obama, negative 13.

Ditka vs. Obama in South Carolina and only registered Democrat African Americans can vote?

Ditka.

Ditka.

Ditka, but it's close.

Would have been the most lopsided debate victory since Bentsen-Quayle.

You are no George Halas Coach Ditka.

Ditka's fundraising would have handicapped him though considering 83% would have went to overhead.

Mike Ditka was busy finding out a way to imbezzle funds that were supposed to go to NFL Veterans that suffered injuries while playing football.

We ain't here, to start no trouble. We're just here to do the Senate House Shuffle.

ditka would have a tough time explaining his participation in hurricane ditka that ravaged new orleans long before katrina.

GOP Executive: We just heard back from Ditka. No dice.

GOP Chairman: (sighs) Get me Butkus.

Even more surprising was that Obama might have won in Illinois if some guy didn't drag 7-of-9 to a strip club. True story!

If I don't show up to work tomorrow wearing those majestic shades, please harpoon me.

@The Fan's Attic: same page. ha.

Ditka 4 President: We're not talking repeat, threepeat, or even a fourpeat. We're talking a minimum eight-peat

@Yinka Double Dare: For me it's the chocolate cookie straws in the shakes.

Ditka versus Cook County's voting dead?

Ditka, Daley would vote for him.

Sausage......Sausage....Daaaaaaa Bears.

@Lady Andrea: What's funny is that if Jordan had "retired" for two years, that prediction likely would have been true.

You're telling me that Ditka would have done worse than Alan Fuckin' Keyes?

rumor is, da coach had some "pete rose-esque" issues that kept him from running against obama, or racing against rick mears in a bus full of da bears.

@LeagueofShadows: you mean if he hadn't take 2 years off to get his gambling under control? Right.

viewers who watch ditka debate for more than 4 hours will probably need to seek emergency psychiatric attention

Ditka vs. Impotence....

@Lady Andrea: That's why retired is in quotations. The Bulls would have won eight straight.

But how could have Obama won against God?!

@LeagueofShadows: Will Perdue would have shut down Hakeem in the Finals.

@SlickBomb: Strippers I can get behind; it's the swingers that freak me out.

Barry Melrose is intrigued by Mike Ditkas wardrobe and would like to subscribe to his personal shopper.

@Stay Away From Oprah: great minds and all.

One can only hope that Golic and Greenberg would have been able to parlay their friendship into cabinet positions.

@Chicago Jones:

But I thought he was just there to look around...that's all.

/that's what he said to me

@LeagueofShadows: yes, I know what you meant and I also know the Bulls would've won 8 straight. I was just being sardonic.

@Lady Andrea: Gotcha

Looks like Ditka got a UFIA.

Ditka: the name that is virtually perfect for a porn actor.

Butkus: perfect for gay porn.

@racistmascot_inc: Thanks to Ditka, Obama will be doing the Super Tuesday Shuffle next week.

@Lady Andrea: Governor Barkley doesn't take kindly to your attempts to inject gambling into this debate.

@Yinka Double Dare: I always thought it was the ground-up pineal glands from illegal immigrants.

I hate Illinois Nazis

Come on, people -- Ditka was a great coach, but he couldn't even manage a simple retirement fund for NFL veterans! There's no way the people of this country would vote for a man who failed at almost every venture he was placed in charge of!

...Oh.

@teamosil: That wasn't it. It goes back to a bar fight where someone wound up dead.

@j-no: On top of it all, it was all over a pair of Kool-Aid Man sneakers. Kids, it isn't worth it.

@LeagueofShadows: I don't know, Hakeem was an absolute monster those two years. The real shame was that we never got to see the Bulls and the Rockets (the two best teams of the 90s) play each other.

@Tuffy: +1

Ditka's candidacy would have been over before it began once he met his opponent and remarked "Hey! Whaddaya know dis O'Bama guy is black!"

He would run much better against the Clintons, as he'd throatpunch the both of them.

@Yinka Double Dare: Ditka is the new Kiss. [upload.wikimedia.org]

'We will advance in Iraq through the 4-3 defence. This will be augmented by our new commander, General McMahon, who will soon be replaced by either Lt Gen. Harbaugh or Col. Tomczak. Then, I'll burn all my good-will by making a horrible rap video and getting in a fight with the very person who got me here (who is also, it must be said, a hateful dick). After that, I will offer all americans the chance to buy over-priced and very dry porkchops!'