Deadspin
The young man in this photo is Kevin Hart. He's a two-star offensive lineman prospect out of Nevada, and he has been trying to decide which college to attend. After talking to their coach repeatedly, he finally settled on California. He called a big press conference to announce his decision: He's going to Berkeley. The gymnasium applauded. Local boy does good. Except: Someone was impersonating the California coach. Cal never had any interested in him at all.
Seriously, either Hart's a huge liar — doubtful — or someone is playing the worst joke on him of all time.
it appears that Hart, pictured above with Fernley coach Mark Hodges at Friday's ceremony, was the victim of a prank. Somebody, it appears, has been impersonating [Cal coach]Tedford. There never was a scholarship offer — let alone any official contact — from the Golden Bears. Hodges, who has been a coach for more than 20 years, now says the matter is a "law enforcement investigation."
Oregon was another so-called finalist for Hart, and somebody appears to have been impersonating an Oregon representative as well.
OK, now you can bet we'll be following this for the next few days. Whoever did this is the cruelest human on earth. Also: Clever. But to be clear: Evil.
Comments
That is cold to pull that on a high school kid.
When asked how he felt, Kevin replied, "Obviously, I'm Hart-broken."
No, the cruelest person on earth would be Carl Monday. Humiliating someone for something as glorious as beating off is more cruel than impersonating Jeff Tedford.
He's going to be really pissed when he finds out that the call from Professor Wile E. Coyote from Acme Looniversity was a fake too.
Ugh. Like Hart didn't already have enough on his plate, what with his fridge running away and Prince Albert trapped in that can.
I think I'd rather be Tomahawk'd.
He could have at least picked a better fake offer to accept. Why not shoot for the stars and bogus-commit to USC?
I'm thinking Cal offers preferred walk-on status, wins hearts and minds across the country.
It's like the time I was recruited to Harvard Law only to find out that the "Alan Dershowitz" calling me was Jackie Mason.
Kevin Hart's Doctor? Dr. Rosensosen. Er, Dr. Rosenstein.
I'm taking Jessica Biel to bed tonite. Whether she knows it or not.
After the press conference, there was a presentation by the real Comptroller Atkins in the gymnasium.
Pfft, that's nothing. Brian Billick has been impersonating a football coach for years.
Don't recruits usually have to go out to visit a school first? He would have known they had no interest in him when he went out for that standard encounter.
Kevin, give me a call. I've got some property in the Everglades I can let you have for cheap.
I ought to cancel your Spring Fling. But I'm not going to do that because already paid the DJ.
It was that fucking British magician waiter down at The Max.
@Gourmet Spud:
Not to mention all that money he has tied up in Nigeria.
@thetaxman:
Dr. Rosenpenis?
The worse offender was the "coach" from the University of Phoenix. "Why, our stadium just held the Super Bowl!"
You should meet his wife, Morgan Fairchild.
@IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten: Yeah, I"m an idiot.
He should have clued in when the recruiter identified himself as Sol Rosenberg.
He's gonna be really pissed when he realizes that he Law Enforcement Agency investiating the incident is the Police Squad.
At least he just signed the letter of intent and didn't call the local press to have a big conference or anything.
/shits pants.
perhaps the scholly was offered to the non-schizophrenic kevin hart.
My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. My safety's Harvard.
@shtickless: Not to mention that a coach from the school will usually do a school or home visit.
He could just go to Notre Dame where Charlie Weis is doing a fine job of impersonating a football coach.
Methinks that Fernley Coach Mark Hodges is not going to be up for any major academic awards.
Later that day his parents let him know he was adopted.
I'm seriously questioning the record deal I just verbally agreed to with Puff Daddy now.
HawHaw!
But Nelson...I think Hart is really emotionally hurt
I said HawHaw
Yeah, the kid who doesn't know who the head coach is or what he looks like definitely deserves a Berkeley education.
Man, that Frank Caliendo really is a chameleon.
.. and then his girlfriend got a call from a Dr. Chim Richalds.
So, this means that we won't hear clever puns such as 'Kevin sure does have HART!' Someone needs to fill the new Mike Hart void.
It's ok, guys. He just got a great deal on volcano insurance.
@blastitbiggs: I'll bite: what's "preferred walk-on status"?
Tough year for Kevin Hart - this comes on top of Michelin taking away one of his stars.
This is probably the same guy who offered Schiano the UM job.
I would love to sell this kid's parents and high school coach flood insurance on some property in Phoenix, Arizona
Don't the high school coaches get involved when schools recruit their players? Where was the coach here?
You would thing that the son of a professional wrestler would follow in his dad Jimmys footsteps. Whooooooooo
Don't feel too bad for Kevin. He just decided to forego college and sign a multi-million dollar contract with the Double Stuf Racing League.
Wait...
Hey kid, I've got a bridge to sell ya!
/1930s talk
dumb lineman..
@McPapadopoulos: So Minnesota's out?
So wait. You're saying that guy I just emailed my SSN# to might not really be the deposed prince of Nigeria?
Does he at least get to keep that sweet Cal hat ?
So much for the Campus Visit and Date with Cal sweetie Amanda Huggenkiss.
@shtickless: You do not have to make an official visit, and sometimes you cannot, e.g., you used your 5 on other schools. BUT your point is well taken, if this is a top tier school, you probably would want to pay your way, if possible, to visit the school.
@Tuffy: look up Walk-On on Wikipedia.
LEMSDAY!
/The Orgeron
@Sh!tShow: He's in Nevada, so it'll probably be the Reno 911 crew investigating.
@UpstateUnderdog: Even if they don't, the coach should have had some clue, because the college would normally ask for film.
@McPapadopoulos: Hey sonny, I can sell an orange popsicle to a dame in white gloves.
/skadoos out of the room
First his brother Owen, and now this. The kid can't catch a break!
If the Cal recruiters were fakes, and the Oregon recruiters were fakes, is anyone actually recruiting him?
@That-Dude: another good point
They shoulda known the Oregon recruiter was a fake when he reportedly told Hart, "Come play in our really not-gay-at-all uniforms!"
Streeter and Amir bow down to this shit.
@PenskeMaterial:
At this point, he'd have to sell himself to Amway.
Fortunately for Hart, Matt Millen will waste a draft pick on him on four years.
@Civil Negligence: Now you're on the trolley!
@DumpsterDining: "in" not "on" - dumbass!
Imagine the kids that he had to have tortured enough to have them want to pull this off on him.
It would only make more sense if his name was Kevin "O'Doyle"
This is horrible and Brilliant.