boooooooo, baseball, los angeles angels of anaheim

A Guide To Recognizing Your Boos

So here's a noble endeavor. Presumably inspired by the great Baseball Prospectus, it's The Heckler's Prospectus, which is a player-by-player guide for fans to help with ammunition on how to boo opposing players.

They start off with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Figgins, Chone - Evidently pronounced "Shawn", Figgins' first name is a glory to behold. Rhyming it with "cone" (as it should be, since this is America, goddamnit!) is a good start, but getting a little creative with it can't hurt. How about "che-hone-ay"? Or perhaps "see honey", but in the tone of an effeminate pimp.

Kendrick, Howie - Any "Howie" heckles begin and end with references to the great Howie Mandel and his well-publicized bout with OCD. As such, make sure to wear plastic gloves when taunting. Also, if you remove the "r" from his last name (maybe sending it over to Casey one entry down) it spells "Kendick". That's pretty funny.

They'll be going team by team. We have an instant bookmark.

The Heckler's Prospectus

6:00 PM on Tue Feb 5 2008
By Leitch
5,683 views
43 comments

Comments

S.O.L. at 06:10 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Can't wait to see what they come up with for Kevin Youkilis.

(B)YOOOOOOOOOO
cowbell204 at 06:11 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

POO-HOLES
HIV 2 Elway at 06:11 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 139

I'll stick with "You're a bum, Herm."
J. Henry Waugh at 06:14 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

I was saying "Moose."
Babcocksure at 06:14 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Fire Millen!!!!
Rob Iracane at 06:15 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 419

I have no idea how to taunt Boof Bonser, Aaron Boone or Boog Powell.
Spors Gratia Sportis at 06:15 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Boof Bonser's been heckled his whole life every time roll is called. He can take it.
1980 David Bowie From... at 06:18 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

They're not saying "boo", they're saying "Boooobies."
A Pimp Named DaveR at 06:19 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 173

The Betty masks were a great moment in American history.
ghostsoftheSCupcountry at 06:19 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 41

Hell, just keep chunking batteries at 'em.
Chuck Knoblockhead at 06:20 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 59

Here's one for any other player on the Toronto Blue Jays not named David Eckstein:

I hear your sister's going out with SQUEAK!
Katni at 06:20 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

I thought Kouzmanoff was getting booed for the first few Padres games I ever went to. Turns out I'm just hard of hearing.
Chuck Knoblockhead at 06:20 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 59

@daver4470: Yeah, Sugar and Spice was a great movie.
Matt_T at 06:24 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 323

This is the first time in my life I'm glad I'm deaf, so I don't have to hear the boos
The Teufel Shuffle at 06:27 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Beat your wife Justice, beat your wife.....
Coming Into The Game,... at 06:27 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Lackey, John - Let's be honest: John Lackey looks like he's dumb.
Napoli, Mike - Since that last name is as Italian as you can get, it's best to start off with a few racial insults

Baseball Prospectus would be proud of this hard hitting statistical analysis.
Ladies love Fennis at 06:27 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Meh to making fun of people's names. I thought it would contain good stuff, like childhood traumas and family members with terminal diseases. Now that's a heckle.
calmasacucumber at 06:29 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

good god it's like a baseball version of those horrifically lame cameron crazy cheer sheats.
ghostsoftheSCupcountry at 06:29 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 41

@Coming Into The Game ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #Roc23 -- The Superstar Receive...: Could I just sing "That's Amore'!"?
thetaxman at 06:32 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

"Eisenriech, Jim" - I mean, the guy's got Tourette's. Fuckshitpiss. Am I right?
VTBen at 06:34 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Boooooo-urns!
ltwinslow at 06:37 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 204

Doug Mientkevicz:

how much you get for the ball doug? i saw it up there on ebay... how much you get for it? come on, you can tell me doug, how much you get for the ball?
racistmascot_inc at 06:38 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 100

"Abbott, Jim" - Too easy. Next.
Gourmet Spud at 06:39 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 437

The timing couldn't be worse for Jays rookie Joe Fuxerzelf.
Le Légende de Vincent... at 06:40 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 189

You're a Pirate! clap clap clap-clap-clap
You're a Pirate! clap clap clap-clap-clap

(We would also accept "Royal".)
Katni at 06:41 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Bronson Arroyo:

"We need a pitcher not a Southwestern ditch.....er!"

/stretch
Spors Gratia Sportis at 06:43 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

This is exactly the reason Stefan Fatsis would only want to pretend to be a pro athlete.
ltwinslow at 06:44 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 204

the late great PR&G once spent an entire game belligerently asking damion easley

"are you sure you were an all-star"
Coming Into The Game,... at 06:44 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

@racistmascot_inc: Why was "Pride, Curtis" left off HP's LAA roster?
ghostsoftheSCupcountry at 06:46 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 41

@Coming Into The Game ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #Roc23 -- The Superstar Receive...: Shame.
Spors Gratia Sportis at 06:47 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

@Coming Into The Game ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #Roc23 -- The Superstar Receive...: Are you allowed to bring semaphore flags in a stadium?
racistmascot_inc at 06:48 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 100

@Coming Into The Game ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #Roc23 -- The Superstar Receive...:

You can't hear this! *clap clap clap clap clap*
You can't hear this! *clap clap clap clap clap*
GreatOdensRaven at 06:53 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Leitch, they're professional athletes. They're used to this kind of thing. It rolls right off their back.

/wipes tear
Kid Canada at 06:56 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 138

"HANRAHAN! SUZANNE SUCKS PUSSY!"
Tuffy at 07:42 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 212

"Hey, Royals pitcher!" goes a long way.
ithacabaron at 09:11 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

In Philadelphia, we prefer to simply boo, with the occasional battery or ice ball toss serving as exclamation point.

Yeah, we're old school.
RyanHowardToYoMutha at 09:16 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

Here's a guide to recognizing your boos: If the boos made ESPN, they came from Philadelphia.
gunga galunga gunga -... at 10:43 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*

@Chuck Knoblockhead: STEVE PERRY!

Rusty Kuntz is particularly happy this came out post-retirement.
Chamomiles Davis at 11:40 PM on 02/05/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 287

@ithacabaron: Simplicity is the key, as evidenced by the fan who felt it necessary to remind John Kruk while he was rounding the bases that Kruk was a "fat fuck."
Storming the Floor at 08:54 AM on 02/06/08
Reply by Email
*

I'm assuming the one for the Royals will involve how to boo one's own players.
Schluby at 09:25 AM on 02/06/08
Reply by Email
*

Sing for him, John Kruk!
Sasquatch at 02:11 PM on 02/06/08
Reply by Email
*

I was at a Sox/Angels game at Fenway last season, and poor Chone got heckled mercilessly from the bleachers, and it was just as simple as pronouncing his name phonetically. He looked at the fans in that section with such hate in his eyes, it was amazing. It's not our fault his parents couldn't spell "Sean".
$Image of Glenn Beck\'s Taint$ Glenn Beck's Taint at 02:34 PM on 02/06/08
Reply by Email
*

Who's your Vladdy?