Deadspin
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to finds its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ...
• "Joy, pain, sunshine and rain. Or celebration, misery, great drafts and injuries." — CommunityEds
(RE: Day 3 of ESPN's one-year anniversary celebration of its comments section)
Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...
• "Vick, Imus, Bonds, playoffs, championships, trades, spygate, steroids and much more." — CommunityEds
• They forgot about us. — 44 In A Row
• Censored, ESPN rules, censored, I love Simmons, censored, Stephen A. is so insightful, censored . . .
—howespncommentingreallyworks — ASox
• Billy Joel wrote today's featured comment? — Losososdechicago
Comments
Earlier comments by this poster....
"Yeah! Woo! It takes two to make a thing go right. Yeah! Woo! It takes two to make it out of sight."
Noun, verb, noun, noun, adjective, for fuck's sake when will one of you mouthbreathers write something halfway literate again? I can't keep this shit up. ---FrustratedEds
Wow, and we're celebrating the anniversary by basically running the same crappy comment two days in a row.
Random conglomeration of words that have absolutely no relevance.
-Special Ed.
He must be a poet, but doesn't know it.
Is that the Foo Fighters album title?
It's a shaaaaaayaaaaaaayaaaaaaame that ESPN runs the same comment 2 days in a row.
Joy. Fun. Seasons in the sun. Hills climbed. Seasons out of time.
-TJacks74
"Things happened. Feelings were felt."--ObviousEds.
Friday was Billy Joel, today it's James Taylor. Tomorrow, Jackson Browne.
Dear Diary,
Those big bullies Rick and Will made fun of me again today. Everyone thinks I have my act together, but I just don't know how much longer I can pretend. I wrote a poem about how I feel, because the world doesn't understand me.
Joy, pain, sunshine and rain. Or celebration, misery, great drafts and injuries. Life is short.
-ESPN CommunityEds
"I wanna sex you up." -ColorMeBadBerman
Come on! Pump it up!
/Rob Base
To everything, turn, turn, turn.
There is a season, turn, turn, turn.
And a time for every purpose under heaven...
"Upside down and inside out, I'm 'bout to show you fools what it's all about."
(RE: New York Knicks - Intern Appreciation Day)
"♫ Red Sox, Ducks, Giants, and Spurs get their rings
These are a few of my favorite things ♫"
--CommunityEdVonTrapp
It's been a fantabulous year for sports.
--VMorrison7743
death, taxes, inane comments from ESPN. affirmed.
Woo-hoo! My response was chosen. Validation! Totally and utterly meaningless validation!
When the site goes away, I'll be bumping Public Enemy's "Shut 'Em Down".
"Teams won. Or they lost. They definitely played."
-CommunitySpecialEds
James Taylor has fell on hard times.
Linus Caldwell: Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream. I am a traveler in both time and space, to be where I have been.
Rusty Ryan: "Kashmir"? Is that your idea of making a contribution?
"I produce AKA the undertaker
You want to come down to the *CENSOREDBYESPN*
Old school - here's a shovel can you dig it fool"
/tagteam93
Old man take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you were
-PatKnight23
i wanna push you around--well, i will, well, i will. i wanna push you down--well, i will, well, i will. i wanna take you for granted. i wanna take you for granted. well, i will, i will.
"Water, land, Earth and Seas. Vegetation, plants and trees."
(Re: Day 3)
"I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop you don't stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat."
-JClayton420
He could Roe allllll the Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade!
-bermandoesitagain
Do they think they are postal delivery officers?
--PstMstrGnrl
This comment brought to you by the Bipolar Disorder Awareness Foundation.
The poetic talents of CommunityEds have Stuart Scott worried.
This commenter is a poet and he doesn't know it.
You are assessed for street repairs - $40 per house, $115 per hotel. - CommunityChest
@tater: Damn you beat me to it. Next time I'll read the rest of the comments.
"We've been out of Grey Goose for the last 71 hours." - Dana Jacobson
(RE: Day 3 of ESPN's one-year anniversary celebration of its comments section)
it's been a long time. i shouldn't have left you. without a strong rhyme to step to. - communityericbandrakim
Pump up the glam, pump it up - while your fingers are typin', all these sports you hypin', lookit here you got me cryin' - hype it up a lil' more get Jacobson out on the dance floor, and you'll see that's where the party's at if she finds where the booze is stashed. --technotronic
No,no, no, it goes like this:
Jooyee (pump it up, pump it up) and paaiin..sunshine (keep it going, keep it going) and raaiiin.
@Phony Gwynn: +Charlie Weis' weight. Well done.
His comments remind me that C & C Music Factory's lyrics are woefully underused in sports commentary.
"Open the door, get on the floor everybody walk the dinosaur. Or Carl Everett." -WasNotWas
CommunityEds Personal Gruntledness Index has been shooting through the roof celebrating the past year of ESPN featured comments.
"A lickey boom-boom (put your comment) down."
-CommunitySnow
Well, I understand why the editors there pick the comments they do every day. What I don't understand is how they got their jobs without, at minimum, a GED.
"Going back to Cali? I don't think so." -- LadiesLoveCJames
"She loved me, and now she's gone.... Did I invent her? The secrets in her twilight eyes? The whispers at my bedside, her arms. her mouth...." -- CKObsession1
There once was a man from China,
whose wife had a massive vagina,
The one day he tripped,
His head got wet and dripped,
and his wife thought he never looked finer.
-Confuciousworks@ESPN
"CommunityEds does what he wants to do - it's his prerogative."
-BobbyBrowns
"All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from ESPN Comments." -- CommunityFreds
(experpt from Beyond Good and ESPN)
super nintendo, sega genesis, when i was dead broke man i couldn't picture this or xbox 360, a nintendo wii, ask dana jacobson why it burns when i pee - communityB.I.G.
"Joy! Pain! Is like Sunshine. Rain!? Are you insane! It is plain that I maim and complain and reign as I flame against your claim! ... that this commen-TAIN! .. anniversary ... is one year later the same .... lame. (/Lights go dark) - BooYahPoetryInc
It occurs to me. Did we fail to mark Underground Day, or was I just not paying attention?
Hello! This was written by Dee!
PS1, PS2, PS3, Xbox, Atari, Nintentod Wii.
~IheartESPNSgamingsection
@tater: @VTBen: He made a rhyme every time.
are asinine comments really something to be celebrated?
When are they going to celebrate someone not getting suspended/fired for something sexual/obscene in nature? I guess they haven't hit the one-year mark on that.
"I hate my fucking job." -- CommunityEds