Deadspin
We played freshman football in high school, though we were the third-string split end on a team that never ran any pass plays. (In practice, we were constantly told to "go downfield, find the safety and try to block him.") We are glad we were in relatively sedate Mattoon playing football rather than, say, playing basketball outside Cincinnati. We might have been forced to have sex with one of our teammates.
Ah, Ohio.
Police in southwest Ohio said three members of a freshman high school boys basketball team are expected to be charged Monday with gross sexual imposition after an alleged assault on a teammate.
A police officer wrote in a report that the alleged victim said a teammate made him have sexual contact with another teammate.
We are sure more details will sneak out about this down the line, but man, we thought running laps was bad.
Cops: Teens Forced Player To Have Sex With Basketball Teammate [FoxNews]
Comments
Ohio, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you...
So you just reached down, and had sex with your teammate?
@Barry Lutz: No shit...Carl Monday has really lost his A game.
Another instance of gross sexual imposition in Ohio. What are Brian Peppers' thoughts on this?
@Barry Lutz:
What do you do at practice?
Do stuff, run drills...
Run drills, sexually assault your teammates?
No...
I thought it was a wierd version of the box in 1.
Carl Monday is watching your hazing ritual.
@ArkansasFred: Chill out... his Dad's a vet.
Poor guys just got confused when Coach told them to work harder on their offensive penetration.
putting the "Oh" back in Ohio....
"Go downcourt, find the center and try to fuck him."
C'mon, it was just roleplay. The three guys were Chris Henry and the victim was a girl.
If elected, Mike Huckabee's #1 priority will be to have a Constitutional amendment passed to ban just such an activity.
I just wanted them to stop calling me a sunt.
From experience, two-a-days in August in the mid-west have always been just five percent less unnerving than a typical episode of Oz.
The Knicks call this "sunting."
Maurice Clarett continues to perfect these "drills" in prison.
Sure, Majerus' coaching methods seem odd...
I can't wait to hear the Sufjan Stevens song about it.
Just another game of Cornhole. Nothing to see here.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns brought to you by Diebold: As an Ohioan, let me confirm to the rest of Deadspin that yes, Ohio is just as fucked up and goofy as you think.
Coach, this isn't what you meant by ball-hawking?
"The White Shadow" sounds so much more ominous now.
Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.
Is this why O.J. Mayo transferred?
@Christ Sabo: its actually worse.
They were just practicing their box and one.
If they had only had a female kicker, this post might not be nightmare fuel.
If Will ever had sex with a woman or a basketball teammate, would it be group sex?
Who hazes people on a freshman team?
Hey, if it wasn't for Ohio we would not have Traci Lords.
Oh.
How badly did these kids want to play basketball?
@Christ Sabo: See Guaco, Jimmy. Has to be one of the most blatantly racist store "mascot" ever.
Show me on the Shaq doll where he touched you:
[www.toyrocket.com]
"YOU HAVE TO PUT A BODY ON HIM!"
"Yours, to be exact."
has brady quinn been able to provide an alibi yet?
@MyronCopacetic: When you walk down a street in Cincy, do you pointlessly see every other guy's wang? If so, sign me up!
Hazing today has become so homoerotic. Whatever happened to the days of the simple "shave-your-balls-and-tape-you-naked-to-the-goal-post"? You know, guy stuff?
@The Gizmo from Pismo: Depends on what part of Ohio. I'm in Columbus, so it's just a hodgepodge of weird shit. Now, southern Ohio...that's a whole different animal.
We would have never heard about this if it had been the hazing ritual for NFL Sunday Countdown.
If I hear Ohio, Basketball and Sex in the same sentence, I want it to include Allie Laforce as well.
[misterirrelevant.com]
TEAM BUILDING EXERCISE OHIOOOO, YEAH YEAH
/jermaine
Chris Henry calls this "Thursday".
A similar scene is played out on the Hoosiers: Director's Cut dvd.
Jim Traficant's toupee has a similar tale to tell.
their 3-on-2 break must run like a well oiled machine.
@Christ Sabo:
I won't let you southern Ohioans lump us from the North in with your shenanigans.
@Christ Sabo: I agree, though Cleveland has it's share of weird shit, the Southern area is really out there. Maybe there's something in the moonshine...
@PabstSmear: I'm in a library right now. Don't say that.
@Gourmet Spud: Exactly.
Q: You know how I know you're gay?
A: You force teammates to have sex with each other.
Southern Ohio, Northern Kentucky, Tomato, Tomata
Obligatory "three man weave" reference.
@racistmascot_inc: Hey now, I am a central Ohioan. I, too, dislike the hillbillies in southern Ohio. Southern Ohio is ridiculous; every 2.3 miles there is a 'GOD IS WATCHING' or 'HELL IS REAL' sign.
I am stunned that this was not a GCL South school. I've heard many a stories about St. Xavier and Moeller playing a game called "toast" in the locker room after gym class. Ha...they don't have girls at their school!
Man, when I played HS football I was hazed like that. In my dreams! I mean, no, nightmare- that's the one.
@Tuffy: If that tale is true, Mr. Speaker, Beam Me Up!
@Christ Sabo:
I don't think people from outside the state realize just how different the North and the South are in Ohio.