Deadspin
Andy Pettitte spoke today at Yankees camp about steroids. He said all the right things, and answered all the questions in all the right ways, the way baseball players have always said the right things and answered all the questions in all the right ways, for generations: Show a sliver of humanity, talk with brio "like a man," don't fully admit to anything (he actually claimed he didn't take HGH for an advantage. Makes sense) but generally show remorse about a vague unnamed, concept finish up with, "I'm just ready to go out there and play baseball."
Honestly? For most of the way, Pettitte had the exact same facial expression he would have if he'd just been shelled for six runs in the first inning. (He teared up a little in the middle, but not because he seemed full of remorse; it was because he was the center of attention, and he hates that.) This is progress, we think. None of the Roger Clemens puffed-face anger and subsequent befuddlement. None of the MY REPUTATION IS ON THE LINE indignation. Just answering a bunch of questions, then heading out to play baseball. Don't look behind the curtain. Just move on.
He's completely full of bullshit. But we nevertheless agree with him, across the board.
Comments
Butt chin, death stare.
No, HGH user, yes, no
Is that his wife, Miss Remembered?
He dropped a whole bunch of y'all and all y'all's so he's okay in my book.
@The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: Now I know what Eric Carmen was singing about.
Was Jesus found?
Did he claim the HGH was for his wife? 'Cause if not, Roger is still the champ.
THAT is one chick I would not want to piss off.
Clay Aiken totally misread the headline. Didn't catch the "b" in the second word.
If Roger's suit had looked that good, Waxman wouldn't have given him such a hard time.
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED STARE
@BigTenObsession:
Romanowski pioneered that defense and he'll be damned if Roger gets any points for originality.
He's married to Lily Allen?
Overpaid pitcher and HGH user Andy Pettitte= overpaid "slugger who hit like a blind preschooler"/steriod user Jason Giambi, who "apologized" for the same thing, but never said steriods or HGH. I wonder if Papa Joe and King George installed a dispenser in the clubhouse. May the Yankees all die in a fire. Cumbuckets, the lot of 'em.
The more I see him with that haircut, the more he looks like a gay porn star.
Not that I would know what a gay porn star looks like....
I believe that woman is a Stepford wife.
"Just move on."
Exactly.
My dream opening day at Spankmee Stadium (in the heart of the hood) is for Pettitte to take a line drive off his oversized chin on the first pitch which carooms into the dugout and kills Jetah and Giambi, and then leaps into the owner's box takes out King George and the Rocket.
+1 Will for the Hannah Arendt reference. It's moments like these that make me realize a poli sci degree isn't completely worthless. Just mostly.
You can't misspell "compettitteive" without "pettitte."
@Dave J.: Lily's eyes aren't quite so...intense
[deadon.wordpress.com]
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: The Magic Baseball Theory?
/JFK'd
he should have dressed up as Paula Abdul. Totally makes people forget about the whole PED thing.
@Carlton_Whitfield: Since the previous post brought up Arlen Specter, that's appropiate. Nah, just a silly dream.
Mrs. Pettitte, do you recall any bleeding in your face in 2008?
@Chuckie Hacks 2 and 0: it's cause you take the steroid in the rump.
Pettite's significant other: no.
Kige, take note: that's what a proper wood-panel backdrop for a news event looks like. First class all the way for the Yanks.
@Raskolnikov: Mrs. Pettitte, do you recall FEELING your face in 2008?
//fixed.
The scary thing is that's her "O" face.
Caption time!
1. "Pettite, petite."
2. "Ms. Bertinelli looks hungry."
3. "Look into my eyes... these aren't the 'roids you're looking for."
Britney?
/Jezebel
So this is what Charlie McGee looks like all growed up, and she married Andy Pettitte?
STAIR ROIDS? O RLY?
Is that Jenny McCarthy with this week's dye job?
At first when I see Andy, yeah it makes me smile... yeah it makes me smile...
[www.celebwarship.com]
@A Pimp Named Daver4470: Question from previous post-Could the NFL's offer of immunity for Walsh actually stand up in court? Or would any court simply ignore it? Note-I'm no lawyer.
"He teared up a little in the middle, but not because he seemed full of remorse; it was because he was the center of attention, and he hates that." - Will
That is a pretty bold claim to make about someone.
@quick: +1
I watched some excerpts on OTL earlier, there weren't enough lawyers arguing with lawmakers to keep my interest.
@theballadofrickeyfoggie:
Subtitle: The Human Growth Hormone Condition...
@Jerkwheat: I'm with you on this -- drunk pictures of hot celebs only make us want them more.
A disappointed June Carter Pettitte looks on...
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: It would definitely hold up. See response in other post.
@A Pimp Named Daver4470: Ah, duh. Thanks. I was a mite bewildered.
andy's accent helps a lot.
href="#c4271311">A Pimp Named Daver4470: See response to response in previous.
This is a weird, wacky time to be a baseball fan. Unless you're a Mets fan, in which case it's the Golden Age. But still.
What's Andy doing with that little ventriloquist puppet?
"Say hello to the Congressmen, Charlita."
"Hello, ya bastards!"
Zzzzzzzz...I'm sorry, hypocrite fans cheering on 'roided up athletes only to be shocked (shocked!) years later when they discover they were actually 'roided up?
Spurned on when aging baby boomers waste gallons of ink and hours of air time in righteous indignation when their "pure and clean" sport that was never pure and clean to begin with start incessantly yapping about being willingly duped by doped up athletes they too knew where doped up all along? All the while counting the cash they made their corporate masters behind their backs?
Never mind. Wake me when something interesting happens.
i wish players would go back the old days: getting drunk and/or doing coke during games
Andy had to have hit the juice again in 2006 - first half of the season? Getting raked by the likes of the Nationals, Reds, and Royals. Second half? Superman. You tell me.
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