Deadspin
To the casual ESPN viewer, it must have seemed confusing that Sean Salisbury, the former Vikings quarterback who once actually sported a fade, would be one of the most prominent NFL analysts on the world's biggest sports media enterprise. Sean Salisbury? That guy? Really?
We know how that casual fan feels; it seems insane that Salisbury really worked for ESPN for 12 years. And now he's gone, replaced by Cris Carter, who at least will have the decency to keep his cell phone photos to himself.
The ultimate irony about Salisbury's departure is that, deep down, he always knew he wasn't prominent enough of a player to have his role at ESPN either. It seemed to gnaw at him, and drive him.
"I'd grown tired of being punished for not being an NFL superstar. Analysts who don't work as hard as me, don't prepare as hard as me, and don't have my resume were making more than me just because of their ability to throw or catch a football.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the opportunity ESPN gave me, but they had capped my ceiling. There was only so far I could go there."
There was always a dopey, jock lunkheadedness to Salisbury that you almost had to enjoy; as Daulerio famously said, the man's the mayor of Miami, and every room he's in. We can't say we'll miss his analysis, exactly, but we will kind of having the doltish chap to bat around every once in a while. We look forward to seeing Salisbury's next move ... and well as Lil' Sean's.
Salisbury Says Parting Ways With ESPN Was Mutual [Los Angeles Times]
Comments
Not only did Salisbury sport a fade, when he played for the Vikings, on an appearance on Monday Night Football, he shaved a Christmas Tree into the back of his head.
I wish I wasn't joking.
I wish I was joking, that is. Er.
The Personal Information section of his resume will now read as follows: "Lil' Sean: Not With Leather Since 2008."
Boo hoo, you big fucking baby. Now you know how Clayton feels.
So did Chris Carter promise to send out picture mail of his little Viking?
Old SSW - I'M A GOOD SPORTS TALKER GUY BECAUSE I'M ON ESPN AND TALK LOUD.
New SSW - will send pics of junk for food
L'il Sean just booked to be on next edition of VH-1's The Surreal Life.
We look forward to seeing Salisbury's next move ... and well as Lil' Sean's.
"I think it moved."
/Constanza
Sean Salisbury prepared for when he was on TV? I thought he just said the first thing that popped in his head, and made sure it was loud and aggressive enough that no one would argue with him.
I hear Puppetry of the Penis is hiring
If he had used Mobile ESPN to send around Lil Sean, Big Sean might still be employed right now
"Mutual agreement", in this case, means that ESPN told Salisbury to vacate the premises and Salisbury, for his part, didn't chain Lil' Sean to his desk.
We can now all look forward to scholarly football debates between John Clayton and Emmitt Smith.
@Im a people person. Who drinks.:
+1
This sets up Salisbury for an appearance on Pros vs. Joes. Leitch, you up for a rematch?
I am looking forward to the inevitable matchup of John Clayton vs. Emmitt Smith in "Four Downs" on Sportscenter.
And 12 years from now, Carter will be replaced by Bryant McKinnie
@Mr. Soul: I'm taking the rest of this post off.
"...they had capped my ceiling."
Redundant, but true.
Capped his ceiling? His next gig will be Mixing Metaphors on the local Bristol PBS station.
All I'm hoping is this means more Marcellus Wiley.
Salisbury is gone? All these years I've been agnostic but perhaps there is a God after all.
Every time I watch Mark Malone slum it airing hockey highlights on WBBM, I weep that someone at ESPN was dumb enough to think Salisbury and his !@#!@#!@#! 1988 Grey Cup ring he didn't deserve was more talented than Malone.
Does this mean no more of that Weintraub column?
BUT WAIT, THERE'S LESS: sob-filled suicide attempts by John Clayton
There was always a dopey, jock lunkheadedness to Salisbury that you almost had to enjoy
Well now your choices are limited to Mark Schlereth. And Mike Golic. And Steve Young. And Tim Legler. And Ron Jaworski. And Michelle Bonner.
@VTBen: No, it will return as the somehow less illuminating Mark Schlereth Wisdom.
@VTBen: Welcome the Emmitt Smith Wisenacity.
BREAKING: Salisbury considering offer to be analyst at YouTube Sports.
@Camp Tiger Claw: I applaud you for avoiding the easy Pam Ward joke
Meh, I can't get that excited about this considering I can still see and hear Skip Bayless at any hour of the day. Aren't they essentially the same person with equal amount of knowledge of football?
A thousand times yes, Salisbury.
I am pretty sure this is the first time I've heard of a male complaining about hitting the glass ceiling.
only $35 to sponsor his page on pro-football-reference.com! You'll then received an autographed photo of his junk after your check clears...
[www.pro-football-reference.com]
Did he make any empty threats to ensure this story wouldn't end up on the internet?
Good riddance, bring back Malone. Sadly, the only ex-Steeler QB who should be on a national sports gig.
@treatment_bound: That's a...uh...pretty appropriate first name.
Harold Reynolds thinks its about damn time.
I am so happy for John Clayton. He must feel like the geek whose tormenting bully finally graduated.
Good riddance fuckface.
Funny, most guys who couldn't play in the NFL to save their lives ring up trucker hats and $6 t-shirts at Walmart. Salisbury is complaining about being on ESPN for 12 years and not making as much as Steve Young?
Somebody call the goddamn wahmbulance.
It's a good thing Salisbury has his acting career to fall back on.
He really couldn't stick around after Clayton knocked him out at The Enchantment Under The Sea Dance.
@Jews For Purple Jesus: Except Skip Bayless watches as much tape as Ron Jaworski, making his crappiness that much more reprehensible.
Vinny Testaverde is feverishly rubbing his hands together while sitting next to his phone.
"but they had capped my ceiling"
What did he want a Sean Salisbury talk show, where he yells at the audience? Hey dickwad, ask SAS how that worked out for him.
Lisa's loaded with about 23 roofies or Salisbury's holding her family hostage in order for her to be posing with him for that picture.
So long, ya fetus-faced windbag.
@Southeast Jerome: No more atomic wedgies for Clayton in the Bristol bathroom.
You would hope that Cris Carter would keep his cell phone pictures to himself, but damnit if that guy doesn't enjoy showing you pictures of his dog in cute outfits.
Hey Sean, Wordpress accounts are free, and you can show all the Lil' Sean you want.
There was always a dopey, jock lunkheadedness
See: "The Benchwarmers"
Hire Cris Carter, fire Sean Salisbury. So I guess that takes care of the minority retention problem.
@Paul Zuvella: seriously, Clayton's face is slowly melting, but at least he's insightful and well spoken. And he's never sent anyone pics of Lil' Clay.
So, riddle me This, deadspinners. Sean says "...they had capped my ceiling. There was only so far I could go there".
Where else are you going to go and make as much money and receive as much airtime? I see all these talking heads leave, and there's not a competing entity out there. He could be an analyst on NBC's Sunday night show, but he's going to only be on for a half-hour a week, and I don't think they pay well for that.
Where's the disapprove button?
I think it's time for Deadspin to revamp its Sean Salisbury Wisdom.
Pull the trigger, Gawker! Put the Seans on yer payroll.
/Yinzerjack
Myron Cope has just died.
/End yinzerjack
"Yeah, man, walk! Tell them to screw themselves. There are a TON of other job opportunities out there for guys like us."
-Trev Alberts, missing since 2005
He'd also like everyone to update their bookmarks. He can now be found at www. seanbigmouthsalisbury.geocities.com.
Shoulda been you, Golic.
They should give him a Viking funeral.
@Dread: Do not mention the SSW by name. It gives it power to rise from the dead. God, no on Gawker hiring Sean. I'd rather listen to Shanoff wank over Tebow for an hour a day.
@RedDear: Bows head. I should go buy a case of Iron City and pop in the Super Bowl wins on DVD in his honor.
"My resume speaks for itself." Yes, yes it does.
@FThat: Sadly it says, "I'm barely competent to discuss a game I spent most of my adulthood playing." Good luck managing a Denny's, douche.
@UNC_Samurai: Sadly NFL Network will probably give him his own show.
At least he has the family steak business to fall back on.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:
Old Column That Shall Not Be Named: "I've got a weekly gig with Gawker Media's trendy sports blog maybe it will lead to a book deal."
New Column That Shall Not Be Named: "I never liked dealing with being bashed by strangers known only by their ironic screen names."