Deadspin
I know that this isn't the favorite part of your day, but it must be done: Here's your Roger Clemens update. Noting direct contradictions in testimony given by Clemens to a congressional committee in a private hearing on Feb. 5 and at a public hearing on Feb. 13 regarding steroids, congressional leaders have asked the Justice Department to consider a possible perjury investigation. Henry Waxman (tenting fingers): "Release the hounds!"
In a letter sent Wednesday to Attorney General Michael Mukasey, House Oversight and Government Reform Committee chairman Henry Waxman and ranking Republican Tom Davis said Clemens' testimony that he "never used anabolic steroids or human growth hormone warrants further investigation."
Clemens' former trainer, Brian McNamee, who claimed under oath that he injected the pitcher with HGH, is not expected to undergo further investigation.
"We didn't think Roger Clemens was telling the truth," Waxman said. "We feel it's important for (the Justice Department) to take a special look at this (and) see if any laws were violated. It's going to be up to them" whether Clemens will be prosecuted.
So, this is a long way from being over, kids. And despite your protests, you know you want it.
UPDATE: The FBI has officially opened an investigation into Clemens' testimony. Uh oh.
Congress Wants Justice To Investigate Clemens [MSNBC]
Hey Federal Government, Can I Just Burn My Money Instead? [Cousins Of Ron Mexico]
Steroids and the Government — The KB High Horse Rides Again [The KB]
Congress Removes Cushions, Sends Dogs After Clemens [Mind Rite Sports]
FBI Opens Investigation Into Clemens' Testimony [USA Today]
Comments
Mr Clemens, I have to ask: what uniform will you wear into the Hall of Fame? Red Sox grey? Yankees pinstripes? Or prison orange?
Wait, aside from the testimony of eyewitnesses, photographic evidence, and possibly DNA, how do they know he lied?
This is the time on Deadspin when we dance.
Henry Waxman (tenting fingers, pants)
*Fixed. He lives for this stuff.
This isn't how it happened in Quiz Show !
Wait a second. When Congressman Cummings reminded Clemens over and over again that he was under oath, he was serious? Jeez, how do you like that?
The pic from the Canseco party is of Clemens motorboating his wifes fresh enhancments.
@UkraineNotWeak: Touch my monkey.
@Chief Wahoo: The suspense is reaching Encyclopedia Brown-like levels.
Clemens better not misremember how to hold on to the soap in jail.
No, no, nothing adds up here at all...
For god's sake, won't somebody think of the children!
They'll hold a press conference in mid-May to announce their decision to charge Clemens with perjury. This process will repeat for the next three years.
@Gourmet Spud: Waxman asked more than one question.
What are ya gonna do, release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?
But how does deceased King of Kensington star Al Waxman feel on the subject?
/Hopelessly Canadian
for the first time in the history of the world, Mark Madsen sums up all my thoughts fairly well.
[myespn.go.com]
@Chief Wahoo: Because his pants were on fire.
@chilltown: +1, McNamee has already had him in that position before, Roger should have no problem with being in it again.
I'll be thrilled if this ordeal ends with Suzyn Waldman driving Clemens around in a low-speed chase through the streets of Houston.
Release the mole army!
@Jefferson Short Bus:
Suzyn Waldman will really be crying at that event.
Nothing inspires fear like a committee asking a giant bureaucracy if something warrants further investigation.
Wait, didn't Waxman say he regreted holding the hearing the very next day?
...
...
Ok. Makes sense to me!
Previous attempts to use the rack failed due to miscommunication.
@Its The Beer Talking: In the Astros bullpen cart.
@Doyle McPoyle: No, they're going to release the robotic Richard Simmons.
@Jefferson Short Bus:
You know, this whole stupid investigation really Bugs Me-any.
@chilltown: I mean, he is used to rectal bleeding after all.
.
Hopefully Molly and Loonette the Clown have space for Roger.
...and somewhere Dan Burton weeps.
@Gourmet Spud: Man, oh man! You're killing me, Spud.
Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo > Barry and Roger: Escape from Attica
Why don't they just have Clemens go on that reality show Moment of Truth?
I hear they are going to push for harsher than normal punishment. He's going to be forced to play for the Pirates for the league minimum.
@Gourmet Spud: Is it going to turn out that the evidence of Clemens doing steroids was written in steam on a mirror after a shower?
@JimmyChitwood: ...and somewhere Dan Burton blames it on Bill Clinton.
Fixed.
@Send It In, Jerome!: Bill was giving hot beef injections to Monica's mouth around the same time as Mc Namee was giving the same -- I mean, "b12 shots" -- to Clemens's butt. I don't think this is coincidence.
@chilltown:
Exactly. Either that or McNamee NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT COLOUR THE BOIL WAS!
Why do I even bother emailing you cats anything.
[svpstyle.blogspot.com]
Since he's been at Astros camp, can they please stop showing him in a Yankee uniform in every single newspaper?
@MrShiz: He should have referred to it as "the mother fucking EURO"
What...nobody? Fine. I'll do it.
Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Fear and...our TWO weapons are fear and surprise...and an almost fanatical devotion to the po...*sigh* Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as..
And so on and so forth.
You gotta hand it to Clemens, no one and I mean no one can go that many consecutive days of tucking whatever shirt their wearing tightly into their jeans.
despite your protests, you know you want it
The General is our new weekday daddy?
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
@BabyGorilla: Seriously, it took that long?
Bring out.... The soft pillows.
@preciousroy: The soft Cushions.
Henry Waxman as Cardinal Fang.
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