Well, you know Chick, like old momma said, next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. Every town had somebody who thinks he's tough as a nickel steak; but, they all come to old Speed for the do-re-mi.

Hey, there's no reason about it. Just money.

If during your third year, a small black cloud appeared on campus and you left under it, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

• CareerBuilder

• Project Kuros

• Suicide Girls

Contact information for this author is not available.