Are You Ready For "Torco Field" On The North Side?

We haven't weighed in yet on the notion that the Cubs might change the name of Wrigley Field, but let us say that it would make us, and just about everybody we know, incredibly sad. There'd be no more sad sign of our times than having drunk postcollegiates stumbling around Bank of America Field. Even as a Cardinals fan, Wrigley Field is our favorite place on Earth to see a baseball game, and it would just feel ... different.

If we're having trouble wrapping our heads around it, imagine how Cubs fans are handling it. One fan is dealing with it in the most logical way possible: He's selling naming rights to his dog Wrigley.

A Chicago family that lives near Wrigley Field has put up for auction on eBay the naming rights to its beloved family yellow lab, Wrigley, asking $1,000 as an opening bid (about the amount it costs to take our family of four to a game at the real Wrigley, writes the seller). The seller says "Pepsi" or "Torco" would be a great name but would settle for something like "Oppenheimer Funds" if the price was right. The dog's official AKC registered name is Wrigley Field 'Wait 'Til Next Year' Sargent, had the seller actually gotten around to registering it, she says.

Who wouldn't want a dog named "Oppenheimer Funds?"

By the way, for all the pageantry and beauty of Wrigley, we mustn't get too carried with its historic status; they did have a Police concert there, after all.

Cubs Fans Are Sick People [The Foul Pole]