Deadspin
With baseball just a few weeks away, Selection Sunday just around the corner and the madness that is the NBA Western Conference, what better time to check in with ... tennis!
OK, so maybe our tennis coverage has been lax around here — though we might never love a story more than the Andy Roddick Is Scared Of Enormous Rabbits Story — but tonight, we're going to attend our first ever in-person tennis match. (Actually, we saw an early-round U.S. Open match in Queens one time, but we don't remember it. Lots of booze in Queens.)
Anyway, tonight Pete Sampras is playing Roger Federer at Madison Square Garden, and we'll be there, in the very upper deck. What's better than tennis from the way upper deck? Maybe they'll let Isiah play. Sampras is just old enough, and a big enough name, to play small forward.
The general idea of these matches is fake, but still fascinating; the two best players of the last 30 years, battling it out, pretending age ain't nothin' but a number. We bet Federer takes it easy on him, but that won't make it any less fun. Theoretically.
Making Up For Lost Timeless Matchups [New York Times]
Comments
"What's better than tennis from the way upper deck?"
Just one thing. Watching tennis from so far away that you're in another ballpark where a baseball game is going on.
Lots of booze in Queens.
The only way to get through a day in Queens.
"What's better than tennis from the way upper deck?"
Watching tennis from the way upper deck while receiving a hummer.
Winner receives MSG intern of his choice.
Loser gets dressed in drag and is fondled by Isiah and Eliot Spitzer.
@Bearcat44:
That's Isiah and "Client 9". Is he going to resign (Client 9 that is, we all know that Zeke will never resign)
@The Fan's Attic: Elliot Spitzer approves.
Damnit. Stupid Gawker IT making me repeat other peoples jokes.
@Tracy Ham and Eggs: I think we all would approve. Well, the males at least.
Sampras' eyebrows will still look huge no matter how far away you sit.
@J-No: Eyebrows? I assumed two large caterpillars crawled onto his face and died.
(Im going with died cause Im thinking living ones would have itched and distracted him from tennis)
This new design sucks--what is this, the large print edition? Is our readership skewing older all of a sudden?
@J-No: Sampras' chest hair will still look huge no matter how far away you sit.
Wait, what?
@chilltown:
You sure that's not a sweater?
Hockey at Yankee Stadium, anyone?
[sports.espn.go.com]
@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Umm...awkward. look below DUAN.
Will Veronica Vaughn be in attendance?
@chilltown: dammit - I'm going to blame the new format on that one. even if it had nothing to do with it. whatsoever.
What happened to the flags? Does this mean I get to go profanity-crazy tonight?
The whole pan of the student section for Rider consisted of the type of Guidos in "My New Haircut" and Jersey Shore girls.
@Fawn Liebowitz: Well we wouldn't be up all night if the orderlies hadn't stolen our sleeping pills. Stupid third rate nursing home.
Is anyone else going to listen to Suss and Tuffy's radio show tonight?
Just uttered by Raftery: "What a great blowby! Uhh, uhh"
@J-No:
Got a link?
Tom Brennan just repeatedly referred to Brandon Jennings as Brandon Cummings.
@UkraineNotWeak: Try this:
[www.blogtalkradio.com]
If that doesn't work just go to Tuffy's blog Refrigerator Logic and you will find the link.
@chilltown: That is dirty.
@chilltown: LINE SHOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@J-No: Pass. Those losers aren't even talking to anyone except Reverend Halofan of Halos Heaven and Cory White of Bugs and Cranks about the AL West. I mean, who'd tune in for that?
*slips J-No $20*
Was it awkward pinning the corsages on each other?
@Tuffy: Have to say, the show has top notch production values.
@J-No: I would if it was just Suss, that Tuffy though, YAWN!
@Tuffy: Keep your money. I enjoy the show. I focus on my team and division so it is good to get an objective point of view on the other divisions.
Hey don't forget - you have a few more hours to get your free fries at Arbys today -
[www.arbys.com]).pdf
Oh fuck you Gawker IT. RIGHT IN THE EAR!
Link for Arby's Fries
@TheStarterWife: I cunt hear you... I have an ear-in-fucktion.
@Hank Scorpio: Well at least I dont need to get Lasik--I can read this print from across the room
And not to start political stuff, but I hope Silda dumps Eliot's sorry ass!
@Fawn Liebowitz:
So what do you think Eliot got for his $4300?
@Fawn Liebowitz: Why, the man likes him some whores. Whats wrong with that? Its not like he was a married nanny-stater who crusaded against pretty much everything who spent obscene amounts of money to get women to travel across state lines to engage in disturbing sexual activities in violation of the laws of multiple jurisdictions, including federal.
What?????
oh.
Nevermind.
@UkraineNotWeak: I was just thinking the same thing--what quality of ass do you get for that kind of cash? Isnt there a limit on the economies of scale here? Isnt ass just ass when you get right down to the basics?
@Fawn Liebowitz:
According to the Post, the money included "future trysts" and that he asked for something "not safe". I guess we'll just have to imagine. I can't believe he hasn't resigned yet.
To take a page from Jane's Addiction and their great song "Ted(eliot), Just Admit It."
And then he came
Now Spitzer's
Not a Governor anymore
hello
@Tracy Ham and Eggs: I can understand shelling out a couple hundred or so, with five being the max upper limit, but $3k (the other $1300 was apparently to be used as a credit for future fuck activity) is way too much
Plus Silda, his wife, isnt bad looking at all--and for a political wife, she's downright hot
@Fawn Liebowitz:
Oh, and yeah,he is a "superdelegate". Good to know he has extra power.
@Fawn Liebowitz: I think the term is diminshing marginal returns.
@J-No: Bravo on the econ lingo.
@lisa: Im assuming there was travel cost involved. But the "not safe"thing is the real hook. Im thinking auto-erotic asphyxiation
@Fawn Liebowitz:
"Not safe"
Anal? Defecation? Wearing a diaper and being spanked?
@Fawn Liebowitz: It's the hypocrisy that pisses me off, same as when the Republicans pull this shit; I wouldn't care if they weren't trying to tell me how I'm supposed to behave.
I wouldn't blame his wife if she divorced him, but the fact is if he wasn't an ethics crusader I wouldn't even care.
@lisa: Don't really have to. It's in the report. The Pro made it seem like it was "easy" stuff. So,maybe anal without a rubber. Although I wouldn't rule out goats and/or choking.
@Fawn Liebowitz: I think the law of diminishing returns comes into play at some point.
Also, people keep talking about a redesign but other than no more flags I don't see anything. Must be my Mac.
@lisa: I wonder if one of his "conditions" while wif those babes is that they call him "Governor"--apparently he doesnt like to use protection, which is idiotic in and of itself...
If I had a spare $3k I sure wouldnt spend it like that--not even on a McConaughey or a Christian Bale--I'd buy a nice Mulberry bag and call it a day
@lisa: If he lasts that long, I think he'll be maintaining a low profile at the convention. And that speaking slot will go to someone else.
@UkraineNotWeak: No condoms--again, what an idiot! Who knows who the hell else has been in there? Ugh!