9 months later, a healthy baby CPR practice device will be born.

I didn't know we were making fun of people for learning lifesaving techinques. I have a firefighter friend I need to lay into...

Matt's suit tells me that at least he took the CPR dummy out for a nice dinner beforehand.

Great, now he's given the herp to Buster too.

I hope Annie has a dental damn. Who knows where he has been.

that's the most strenuous activity leinart's done in seven months

@Summer-of-George: Oh, it's just Leinart. It's impossible to resist.

Wait, I thought most football players *wanted* their dates to be unconscious.

@Seabass:
Perhaps but I bet the dummy isn't going to get a call back from him.

If the camera panned down a bit, this picture would be fit for Fleshbot.

I hope Martin Lawrence pulls through.

I think I've had a pudding cup in the same favor is that dummy. And since it was pudding it was delicous.

Saying he felt it was important for him to be certified since he is "a father and a teammate."

Did he just pull the Daddy Card?

/I think CPR certification should be required for HS graduation.

Tonight on Mythbusters ...

Why is Leinart kissing Brenda Warner?

You know you're a metrosexual when you match your rubber gloves to your suit.

"And here is a deleted scene from 'I, Robot' featuring Mark Ruffalo as Dr. Rip McSexy, DDS..."

@blackheartededitor: Just Jerramy Stevens. Although not a football player, Zach Randolph likes it too.

@Will Leitch: are you hanging out at DU!AN tonight?

At least this girl has bigger boobs than Paris

Out with the bad air, in with the good
Out with the bad air, in with the good

Isn't the girl the one supposed to be doing the blowing?

I never knew Leinart was a dementor.

I'll show myself out.

i'm a little concerned about the gawker ad next to this pic. its a big green gawker faux falice leering at the leinart picture... creepy...

Tagged: MATT LEINART, TRENT GREEN

You'll never hear from that guy again, dummy.

@The Fan's Attic aka Client No. 11: Leinart is scarier.

Leinart keeps downgrading, from Paris down to Brynn Cameron and now to this CPR dummy. Pretty soon he'll be dating Britney Spears.

Uh, Matt? i don't know if anyone told you, but that dummy is a guy.

Man, I remember my first time. My entire health class was here looking on. I had rubbing alcohol on my mouth because you didn't want to catch anything from the person before you...come to think of it this was good practice for my first girlfriend.

Here you see Matt Leinert trying to breath life into a plastic dummy. Odds of recovery about the same as a winning Cardinals season

This probably leaked from the NFL's rookie orientation video: "How to revive a dead hooker"

@Laser Guided: +1

"But I'm pregnant!"
"Your mouth ain't pregnant! CHOKE ON MY COCK, YOU WHITE TRASH WHORE!"
-Dave Attell

Caption: See Eliot, you gotta use the dental dam.

@Laser Guided: This probably leaked from the NY Governor's Office orientation video: "How to revive a dead hooker"

/fixed

@longefellowes: you hear the latest dollar figures? He spent 80k on whores apparently.

does he have on a tie and matching pocket square? Man, the YMCA has gotten fancy since I the last time I jumped in the pool.

I'll tell you what's not funny-- killing' strippers. Strippers are people, too. Naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain at a VIP room. Besides, there's no need to kill 'em...'cause most of them are already dead inside. Good night, everyone!

Have we all seen how Mary Ann got caught with the ol' Mary J? [andreasatrium.com]

@Tracy Ham and Eggs: Whores!

@Tracy Ham and Eggs: Yeah, I'm still laughing about it. But I still have a few questions, mainly, who tipped off his bank to be looking for such small transfers? It's my understanding that the tracking software designed to catch that kind of stuff is looking for huge amounts of money. Somebody finally got too pissed off...
Now, if the news could get back to something that actually matters...

@tater: ok... I agree, though... God knows... I'm against killing any women. All it does is reduce my odds of finding one

@longefellowes: Don't worry, they'll be back to Britney in no time flat.

@longefellowes: I assumed that he was on the wiretap first as a byproduct of the investigation of the ring, then they went looking for the transactions to get him under (and here is the funny) structuring laws.

[www.overlawyered.com]

@Lady Andrea: Damnit, you beat me to it...

CPR Dummy. Paris Hilton. Both display the same amount of acting ability.

@Tracy Ham and Eggs:
No what's depressing is finding out in the story below an 800 pound dude has a girlfriend. Must be his suavey Latin charm.

@Lady Andrea:

What's next? Barbara Eden with a home meth lab?

@Lady Andrea: Yup. That's why I always preferred her to Ginger.

@UkraineNotWeak: that would explain the outfit.

And you just know Elizabeth Montgomery huffs. The nose twitch?

@Jefferson Short Bus: oooh, me too.

@UkraineNotWeak: Barbara Eden with the home meth lab in the conservatory.

I win!

@Lady Andrea:

The Addams definitely dropped acid.

@PQ Crash: Actually I beat you both to it.

What I can't figure out is why this is just now making the news. She got busted over 4 months ago.

Yeah, I'm still laughing about it. But I still have a few questions, mainly, who tipped off his bank to be looking for such small transfers? It's my understanding that the tracking software desi