Deadspin
In about half an hour, the Mariners will play an exhibition game against the Milwaukee Brewers. (Man, interleague exhibition games were so much more novel before, you know, actual interleague play.) This is not a particularly compelling game, but it is noteworthy for one oddity: Ichiro Suzuki will try again to notch his first base hit of the spring.
He's pretty relaxed about it, though, in that laid-back, Zen sort of way that's, as always, probably part of a joke by the translator.
"To tell you the truth, some of this is kind of fun," Ichiro said. "To be in a situation this early in Spring Training and have this kind of a bit of intense environment is something that I couldn't experience before. Basically, it's a situation where I need to battle within myself, mentally. That's something that I haven't experienced at this time of year, and I get to experience that right now, and that is great for me. Once I get a hit it might actually make me sad that this experience isn't going to be here any more. But at the same time, I understand I need results."
We love the idea of Ichiro, after finally reaching first on a single, taking off his helmet and looking skyward as a solitary tear slows falls down his cheek. What he has lost can never be recovered, and he must trudge onward, brave, stoic, strong.
Ichiro Hitless In Spring, Still Not Excited About the Cleve [Walk Off Walk]
Comments
taking off his helmet and looking skyward and then proclaiming, "I am the greatest of all-time."
/Rickey Henderson'd
Easy pep talk: Tell him to turn things around or he'll be traded to Cleveland.
Did Will just compare Ichiro to the Crying Indian?
"Once I get a hit it might actually make me sad that this experience isn't going to be here any more.
Richie Sexson is excited to experience that feeling too.
Every Brewers game is compelling. Just me?
I would be giddy too if I received a huge, erect glass dildo.
@the earl of weaver: really..why wouldn't he want to go to cleveland?
@Lady Andrea:
well, Ichiro is secretly played by a Sicilian.
A hitless streak trumped only by Billy Joel.
Ichiro no hit
It's only exhibition
Still win batting crown
/Haiku'd
I'm still waiting on Julio Franco's first hit for the Mets.
So it's ok I haven't felt a woman's touch in well over a decade?
Please, Suzuki-san?
Kaz Tadano humbly begs
for his dildo back
Hey Ichiro, go punch yourself in the face.
IIIICHIIIIIROOOO!
See this is the problem with posts that have an Asian in them. You read one think it's enough but then eventually you are going to want another one.
Ichiro may kind of miss not hitting well but Kaz Matsui will not miss not shitting well.
Once I get a hit it might actually make me sad that this experience isn't going to be here any more.
Yeah, as a M's fan nothing gives me greater joy than the best hitter on my team enjoying the existential ennui of not hitting. I can't wait to read Raul Ibanez's soul-wrenching poetry after he strikes out in the bottom of the ninth against the Angels!
@J.L. White: Don't forget Jose Lopez's limericks after he grounds into an inning-ending double play.
@PeteJayhawk: this isn't "Hook."
Ichiro has been in a slump ever since MLB banned him from wearing those teenage girl underpants that he bought at a Tokyo vending machine.
@Gourmet Spud: Oh, bad move. Obviously missed Duan last night..
In some cultures, a hitter who fails to hit brings shame upon himself and his family. Such shame can only be absolved through ritual suicide. Good thing that isn't the case here.
@Gourmet Spud: C'mon, Billy Joel has many hits. A telephone pole, a tree, a building...
@Chief Wahoo: In some cultures, a hitter who fails to hit brings shame upon himself and his family. Such shame can only be absolved through ritual suicide. Too bad that isn't the case here.
/fixed
@Chief Wahoo: Bottle of red, bottle of white ...
@PQ Crash: There once was a man from the 'Zuela
Who's bat would constantly fail 'ya
While he's great with the glove,
It's still hard to love
Men with a worse av'rage than Tony Pena (jr.)
@PQ Crash: Have your read Horatio Ramirez's "Ode to the 87 MPH Fastball Tossed Casually Down the Middle of the Plate?" It's hard to imagine such beautiful words emanating from such an unbelievably shitty pitcher!
Trading Adam Jones
Nice to get Bedard but still
Left with corner stumps.
@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: @J.L. White:
Hitless in spring,
Plentiful in fall.
Won't someone take me home?
@Triple B: Bottle of furniture polish . . .
Ichiro isn't even playing today! Damn you, Dave Niehaus!
@J.L. White: I wrote that joke about Ramirez just minutes before finding out that he got cut. Woo Hoo!!!! Now, have you guys heard the one bout a priest, a rabbi and Jose Vidro? Well, it goes.....
@Rob Iracane: Ichiro isn't even playing today! Thank you, Dave Niehaus! You are a HOFer announcer, and I still get goosebumps when listening to your call of Edgar Martinez's GW double against the Yankees in 1995! You rock!!!
/Seattle-ized
@J.L. White:
Our outfield defense
now consists of Ichiro
and two traffic cones
@J.L. White: Now put it in haiku form! Whee!
@strong like bull smart like tractor:
Ichiro is good enough to run around those traffic cones and still make the play. Pimp!
Oh that Ichiro. Always dressed to impress.
But yeah, slumps are bad, but not in March. Has anybody bothered to check if he's hitting right-handed?
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