For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all.
Every weekday until the start of the season, a different writer will preview his/her team. We asked a gaggle of writers, from the Web, from print, from books, to tell us, in as many or as little words as they need, Where Their Team Stands. This is not meant to be factual, or dispassionate, or even logical: We just asked them to riff on why they love their team so much, or what their team means to them, or whatever.
Today: The Atlanta Braves. Your author is Jay Busbee.
Jay Busbee is the editor of Yahoo! Sports' NASCAR blog From the Marbles and Atlanta Magazine's Atlanta sports blog Right Down Peachtree. He's also the author of The Quiet Dynasty: The Inside Story of the Atlanta Braves' Championship Run, coming out next year. His words are after the jump.
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So this is what life is like for the rest of you.
If the Braves Dynasty isn't dead, it's clearly on life support and nonresponsive. The Atlanta Braves are now two seasons removed from their last playoff appearance, six years from their last playoff series win, and twelve—twelve!—years from that lone World Series ring. Atlanta is now like that creepy dude who graduated from college but hung around in town afterward, still going to parties at his old fraternity. Yeah, the Tomahawk was friggin' money back in the day, but now...no, no, don't make eye contact, he'll come over here—Hey, Tomahawk! How ya been! Great, great...
Braves fans insist that Atlanta's fine, that the Braves are going to run with the Mets and the Phillies. But a lot of that is fantasy-league delusion—we've got Glavine, Smoltz, Chipper, and Javy Lopez, we won a World Series with these guys! Somebody get Ryan Klesko and Steve Avery on the phone!
Thing is, it's not a completely insane thought that we'll challenge for the pennant. As old as he is, I'll still take Smoltz over all but a handful of starters in the NL. Tom Glavine's Manchurian Candidate routine of last October—torpedo the Mets' playoff hopes, then jump ship and re-sign with Atlanta—was baseball schadenfreude of the highest order. Tim Hudson is justifying the monstrous salary Atlanta threw his way after he left Oakland. Rookie Jair Jurrjens is pitching like the second coming of Greg Maddux.
At the plate, Chipper Jones, long past caring whether you call him "Larry," is putting the final grace notes on a Hall of Fame career. Mark Teixeira is going to become one of the game's marquee players over the next five years, though Braves fans are dreading the likelihood that he'll be playing somewhere well northeast of Atlanta this time next year. Brian McCann is the sweetest-swinging catcher in the game not named Mauer, and everything's lining up for right fielder Jeff Francoeur to have his breakout season. Shortstop Yunel Escobar, who snuck out of Cuba four years ago, played well enough in his rookie season for the Braves to send Edgar Renteria to the Tigers.
So, yeah, with a solid lineup of at least three likely 15-game winners and four .300 hitters, Atlanta should be challenging for the division title and probably the NL crown, right? So how do I know that come September, Atlanta's going to be burbling along at four games out, unable to close the gap between them and the Mets/Phils?
Sure, you could blame injuries. You could blame a bullpen that has a tendency to implode and bats that go limp at the worst possible moments. You could, but those problems hit every team. I'm looking in another direction.
I blame us. That's right, the Atlanta fans, the perennial postseason punch line. (Hey, alliteration!) It's our fault the Braves can't get over the hump. Our fault they can't give any more than ninety-eight percent. Our fault their eyes are cloudy and their hearts are half-full.
We've got this strange combination of insecurity and flop sweat—we want the world to pay attention to our team, but when they do, the Braves belly-flop spectacularly. We suffer the sanctimonious smugness (More alliteration!) of hack sportswriters when we don't sell out playoff games, but don't go thermonuclear when everybody ignores the fact that, say, the San Antonio Spurs are suffering the same early-round playoff fatigue.
We boo Tom Glavine, one of the three or four greatest A-Braves ever, and give a standing ovation to Julio freaking Franco after he jumped to the Mets and then returned to Atlanta. The finest moment in our team's history—the Game 6 win over the Indians in the 1995 World Series—was colored by the fact that David Justice had to call us out the morning of the game. He didn't think we knew how to get fired up for the final games of a World Series. And he was right.
So we can make all the excuses we want—Turner Field's too tough to get to, Georgia Bulldog football is more interesting, we're just tired of all this winning—but the truth is, we're as much to blame for the Braves' shaky public image as any gopher-ball-tossing closer or flailing utility infielder.
We need to realize winning isn't our birthright. We need to get off our asses and get to a ballgame now and then. We need to cheer this team like it's 1991.
And I promise I will. The very next time they're in town. Promise.












Comments
Don't you have to win more than one World Series to qualify as a dynasty?
So this is what it sounds like when Braves cry.
Rookie Jair Jurrjens is pitching like the second coming of Greg Maddux.
Whoa. Easy there big fella.
I will like the Braves as long as Smoltz plays for them. Once he retires, they go back into the scrap heap with the rest of the teams I don't care about.
STOP THE CHOP!
I'd be more impressed with the alliteration if he wasn't so damned eager to show us where he did it.
I want Jair back
Hey Jay!! How are things going?
Rookie Jair Jurrjens is pitching like the second coming of Greg Maddux.
For his teammates' sake, I hope he doesn't piss on guys in the shower like Maddux.
As for Glavine, whatever it is that Patrick Swayze's got, go ahead and get that, ya fuck.
Needs more Mike Hampton jokes.
"I want Jair back"
I just want someone on the Tigers that makes us all inherenly sound like the Swedish Chef.
I need to be at Glavine's return to Shea.
Braves fans would comment but they don't really care.
If Tom Glavine acted like he enjoyed what he was doing; instead of having the personality of a wet mop, we might actually give a damn.
Prediction: Braves win division, do not win World Series. You know, because these guys are like the Braves of MLB...
@Doyle McPoyle: Or be a Carrington?
/Threadjack
Atlanta Braves just signed Ralph Garr.
/ok, not really a Threadjack
Always bringing up '91 and '92...
Just remember you had Jane Fonda to deal with back then.
@Ukraine: Doing well, sir. Another Pants Party at the Ted this year?
@Summer-of-George: Dammit! I knew I was forgetting something. Go here for the best Hampton joke ever.
@Suss--: this is one of the reasons I want him back
however, as it currently stands, many names on the Tigers roster make us sound like Ricardo Montlebon. So we got that going for us.
I think Jair Jurrjens helped Bilbo find the ring.
We've got this strange combination of insecurity and flop sweat
I had no idea Ted Buckland was a Braves fan.
@Jay Busbee:
Thinking about it.
@Carlton_Whitfield: +1.
The name definitely has a 100-sided-die ring to it.
What, no kangaroo balls? My tix for the home opener arrived yesterday. And I may have booed Glavine in the past but I'll be cheering this time.
Looking forward to the book, Jay
I knew I'd be seeing you around here, you putz. GO BACK TO ATLANTA!
Oh, you're probably there already.
Brian McCann is the sweetest-swinging catcher in the game not named Russell Martin
Fixed. And Canadianized.
"bats that go limp at the worst possible moments"
My wife told me that happens to lots of guys teams. Don't worry about it.
@Matt_T: On behalf of Mets fans everywhere... Fuck Glavine right in the ear. Possibly the single most gutless sports performance since Tyson destroyed Spinks
/still bitter
//Johan!!!
Aren't there like 20 streets named Peachtree in Atlanta?
Teixeira's a beast. I stole him off the Rangers & built my Milwuakee Brewers championship teams around him as my DH in dynasty mode. Always hits .300+ and good for 40 HR.
What? Don't look at me like that. I know the NL doesn't have the DH. Fuck Selig, I turned it on for both leagues. You know the NL will not catch up to the AL until they implement the DH rule league-wide. Admit it, you'll feel better once you cop to it.
"many names on the Tigers roster make us sound like Ricardo Montlebon"
You're talking about Yorman Bazardo, right? Because he's not my man.
@Chief Wahoo: Indeed. So I've locked up rightdownoldpeachtree.com, rightdownpeachtreecorners.com, rightdownpeachtreebattle.com, and on and on.
Stupid unimaginative forefathers.
@Chief Wahoo:
I work on one of them
@Jay Busbee: So, rightdownPeachtree-Dunwoody is still available?
Sid Bream, Byron Leftwich, or Mangino in a footrace. Who ya got?
Diesel, I got Kevin Everett by 3ΒΌ furlongs.
@Matt_T: Yeah, but once you're on it, it runs slower than belief, and it's always got one of those "Under Construction" signs on it.
Because, you know, Atlanta's got a bit of a traffic problem.
/hackery
@UkraineNotWeak: I'd get lost.
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH!...
Braves Fan, on behalf of the rest of the NL, this self pity and wallowing in misery and doubt is a day 17 years in the making. Eff you, Bravos!!
If only it could now happen to the Cub... Wait. What?
It's hard for Atlanta sports fans to care about the Braves when the Hawks and Thrashers so thoroughly dominate the sporting landscape.
I hope Tom Glavine gets anal SARS.
@DennyCrane: Vick is in jail.
So where is the season preview?
Oh, this is deadspin, I forgot it's a comedy blog.
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