Female 'Streaker' Interrupts Soccer Game, Raises Soccer Game AwarenessS

The USA under-23 soccer team beat Honduras 1-0 in CONCACAF qualifying last night. But that's not the real story, for I don't know who scored the goal, or even what the impact this has on the CONCACAF ... tournament? Do they have a tournament?

The zenith of the match was a brief interruption by one American badass female "streaker," according to the eyewitness account. With all due respect, kind reporter man, I take umbrage with your loose definition of what a streaker is. See, streaking doesn't just imply nudity, it damn most certainly demands the uninhibited presence of crotch bits. Anything less than that is a direct pipeline to disappointment.

Don't like it? Take it up with Mr. Dictionary. Now, let's see if we can't fix what you've...

Female 'Streaker' Interrupts Soccer Game, Raises Soccer Game AwarenessS

...There we are. Last night's soccer game had a female streaker. The only question left, I suppose, is whether or not you, the reader, would have sex with her if given carte blanche to do as much.

Streaker Takes Pitch In Tampa [Orlando Sentinel]

(UPDATE: We have mugshot. Nice detective work, Reasonable Doubt.)