The USA under-23 soccer team beat Honduras 1-0 in CONCACAF qualifying last night. But that's not the real story, for I don't know who scored the goal, or even what the impact this has on the CONCACAF ... tournament? Do they have a tournament?

The zenith of the match was a brief interruption by one American badass female "streaker," according to the eyewitness account. With all due respect, kind reporter man, I take umbrage with your loose definition of what a streaker is. See, streaking doesn't just imply nudity, it damn most certainly demands the uninhibited presence of crotch bits. Anything less than that is a direct pipeline to disappointment.

Don't like it? Take it up with Mr. Dictionary. Now, let's see if we can't fix what you've...

...There we are. Last night's soccer game had a female streaker. The only question left, I suppose, is whether or not you, the reader, would have sex with her if given carte blanche to do as much.

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Streaker Takes Pitch In Tampa [Orlando Sentinel]

(UPDATE: We have mugshot. Nice detective work, Reasonable Doubt.)