Deadspin
In the next week, you're going to see more of Jose Canseco that you likely have much desire to see. But Canseco has a new book coming out April 1, Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball, coming out just in time for opening day and promising to, once again, blow the lid off the steroid menace. Once again, he's naming names, and, according to a man named Joe Lavin, who bought a copy accidentally put on sale early at a Boston bookstore, those names are Roger Clemens, Magglio Ordonez and Alex Rodriguez.
This is Jose Canseco, of course, which means all accusations are based on personal animosity, surrounded in Canseco's typical shadiness ... and probably true. According to Levin's account of the book, Canseco wanted to include Clemens in Juiced, but his publishers said no. As for Ordonez, you might remember Maggs as the guy Canseco allegedly demanded invest in one of Jose's movies or else he would include him in his next book. (Apparently, he didn't invest in the movie.)
But A-Rod will be the real story, and even though everyone in baseball will ignore it because it's Canseco, well, as much as an idiot as Canseco is, the guy was the one guy who was right about this last time. We all know that past performance is no indicator of future results, but it's worth noting.
Here's what Lavin reports him saying about A-Rod:
As for Alex Rodriguez, Canseco says he didn't inject Rodriguez, but that he "introduced Alex to a known supplier of steroids." Canseco didn't mention Rodriguez in the first book because he "hated the bastard." He was worried that people would have "questioned [his] motives" had he included Rodriguez.
Why all the hatred, you ask. Well, Canseco claims that A-Rod was trying to sleep with Canseco's wife. Apparently, even after Canseco had been nice enough to help A-Rod find a friendly steroids supplier, A-Rod kept calling Canseco's wife.
And, in case there's any further confusion about Canseco's true feelings, he ends the chapter by saying:
So A-Rod, if you're reading this book, and if I'm not getting through to you, let's get clear on one thing: I hate your fucking guts.
So, yeah, everybody: Welcome back, baseball!
Jose Canseco Reviewed: With Spoilers [JoeLavin.com]
Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball [Amazon]
Comments
Awesome. Just awesome.
Everyone buy a copy. Jose needs money for more of those horrible see through shirts.
There Canseco was, saving that woman's posessions from a burning building, while A-Rod was trying to give the man's lady his purple-lipped special. Well played!
It was all a misunderstanding. A-Rod was calling Canseco's wife because he was interested in Canseco.
I named my fantasy baseball team "Jose Canseco's BBQ" for a reason.
...what? It's relevant to the topic!
Oh, and the Big Tilde will crush him.
Canseco may be a cheater...but he doesn't stand for adultery.
Canseco also recounts a time in the book when he landed under heavy sniper fire when he visited Bosnia.
@MrMoustache:
I'm waiting for his next book to see whom he blames for those shirts.
Jose Canseco absolutely adores alliteration.
I thought A-Rod only slept with Blonde She-Males? did Jose marry a She-Male?
I already can't wait for his next follow-up where he names Bud Selig and Omarosa from 'The Surreal Life'.
@Doyle McPoyle: At least Canseco didn't vanish off the face of the earth.
Say it ain't so Big Asterisk.
@Tickenest:
Or get knocked out over arguing England's greatest prime minister.
New rule: all Canseco posts must be accompanied by scantily-clad photos of Jessica.
He also claims to have injected Don Mattingly's wife with "fugly juice."
Can Dr. Drew do a Baseball Rehab?
@Juancho:
Sounds suspiciously like the Ice T posting rule.
@Tickenest: And apparently NEVER WILL.
If you would have just put the dryer on the right like Alex said, maybe he wouldn't have tried to bang your wife, Jose.
To be fair to A-Rod, I want to sleep with Canseco's ex-wife.
I refuse to believe the A-rod story until I see the size of Mrs. Canseco's biceps.
YE SHANT SULLY THE NAME OF THE BIG TILDE!
Canseco is alot like "the Boy Who Cried Wolf", in that I never gave a shit about that story, either.
Looking at recent events, I guess Canseco's publishers knew that Clemens was the suing type.
After a month.
And with Lionel Hutch efficiency.
From what I understand, those aren't the only names. Canseco also apparently has "juice" on a presently unemployed former All-Star catcher of the New York Metropolitans.
I never thought I'd see "Jose Canseco" and "#1 New York Times bestselling author" together and NOT have it be a joke.
@UkraineNotWeak: The low talker.
Maybe Arod wanted to find out where Mrs. Canseco got that lipstick
Kenny Rogers is aggressively taking notes on the animated cover.
I rub the head of the Jose Canseco Starting Lineup figure on my desk every morning for good luck and bigger biceps.
Could someone please inject Clemens with rat poison and tell him it's HGH?
I have never seen a photo of Canseco's wife but she must be burly.
Steroids: shrunken testicles, blue lips, and bitch tits.
@MeSoHornsby: I said the same thing about Ann Coulter, and look at how that turned out.
A-rod wanted to sleep with Cansenco's wife? That's ridicul...wait, she used to date Eddie Murphy?
*remove the additional "n"
Canseco's wife is a stripper?
Shipping Out to Boston... world wide hit?
@Scout: I think she used to date Martin Lawrence
So Iracane, if you're reading this comment, and if I'm not getting through to you, let's get clear on one thing: I hate your fucking guts.
Jessica Canseco is certainly juicy
@Herbies_Wingman: Sure, don't link a Playboy pic.
Still, that does have palate-cleansing sorbet effect.
What Jerkwheat said.
@Juancho: if I were not at work, I would have given you a collage of Jessica boobies
uh..how can the guy who ushered in the steroid era battle to save the game he destroyed?
/shits pants
That baseball is going to have quite an abscess.
Hopefully we'll get more pictures of his mega-mole. Oh, the irony!
Emil Brown = douchebag
@Herbies_Wingman:
How in the fuck do you get thrown out at third, when you're the tying run on second with 1 out in the 10th?
Jose, can you see what you are doing to baseball?
Has A-Rod seen Lleyton Hewitt's sister? She seems more his type than this Jessica gal.
[deadspin.com]
@Herbies_Wingman: I Googled her a half hour ago, and was pleasantly surprised to see that someone had turned off "safe search" on the PC I happen to be at this morning.
@Wyshynski: It will need Band-Aids to prevent it from bleedi