DO WANT

Thank you, Jeebus.

Muff Stubble Girl isn't sure how she feels about these fancy contraptions.

/gets on plane for Atlanta

yes, but can it pour JAGER BOMBS?!?!?!?

@diddly: /shits pants

Shuts off at only 180 ozs.? Did a sorority design this thing?

I'd tap that.

/More difficult, but not impossible.

less muff stubble, more beer

After five, it lights your cigarettes backwards for you.

Eddie Griffin had one of these installed in his car right next to the DVD Porno Player.

...while it's rarer for smaller groups to hit the limit...

Oh, Atlanta. How you will rue the day you presented me with such a challenge.

You mean I don't have to tip some asshole a buck for fucking up my pour?

Heaven.

Pfft, it ain't hard at all to sexually harass a tap. In a related note, I'm now banned for life from Bennigan's.

Welcome to the future, my friends.

Now if they can just figure out a way to so that I don't have to leave my table to go to the bathroom without disgusting everybody in the vicinity.

...has already passed legal hurdles... in the Carolinas

Looks like my birthday's comin' early this year!

Dana Jacobson will wait for the Belvedere tap, thank you.

I need new underwear.

@supermike5alive: When Long Island develops this technology, it's fuckin' over.

Approve

One of those and a "hunter's toilet" and we're in clover.

Ya but can it wear small shorts and a tank top?

here was my suggestion - run with it:

drink keypads at the tables.

just punch it in: beefeater and tonic + lime, sam draft, jager bomb, jack and coke.

ticket comes up at the bar, bartender fills order, lovely drink runner drops off a tray at your table, picks up empties, gets tip.

keypads double as credit card swipes when you want to settle up.

keypads triple as those trivia-pads if you want.

@tater: I shall accept this over flying cars and personal transporters

They should take a photo of this guy's face, because if this makes it into Atlanta's strip clubs, the pregnancy rate will SKYROCKET.

@The Fan's Attic:
Well, Rudy will await your foundation over at the Burgundy Loaf.

@supermike5alive: keypads quadruple as a love-making device.

/night is complete

I knew there was a higher reason I moved to Atlanta.

Apparently, Nibbles is already enjoying this idea.

@Chief Wahoo: Well, shit...it does exist. I wasn't planning on hitting on any women anyway. [www.nextag.com]

@Civil Negligence: Seriously. My friend Shan and I can put away three pitchers during happy hour after a particularly bad day at the office.

Lord, beer me strength.

@supermike5alive: I totally predicted/suggested that name for you.

Whats the name of this place? I need to do some research (drinking) this weekend.

Since I can't get the video at work, do they give the name of the bar in Atlanta? I may have to try it out.

I call shenanigans. It's April Fool's early. I mean, seriously: Atlanta and sports? Who are you kidding?

Great. Now I have to get drunk tonight.

Now I can't wait for someone to invent a mechanism that allows you to bypass that stingy "counter" attached to the tap. Now that guy will be the true genius.

Free beer!

@Big Daddy Drew:

You mean I don't have to tip some asshole a buck for spitting in my beer?

/Fixed for when I've had a few

Next step - "Just hook it to my vein!"

But can it throw you a couple of free ones like your bartender friends can?

@Tuffy:

Majority of people in Atlanta root for a team elsewhere so sports bars are big.

Actually, there's a bar in NYC, near NYU, that has tabletop taps as well.

[thehalfpintnyc.com]

So we can do kegstands with a computer keeping score for official competition purposes?

/single tear from beholding the glory

Thank god! Whenever I go out I'm always bored because I don't have enough work to do.

Now they just need to install these at Turner Field in the all you can eat and drink seats.

@MattinglysSideburns: quack, quack. i had no idea what you were referring to but google saved me.

+ Watch video

Had these in Barcelona this summer. Each table had the total consumed beer posted on TVs above the bar. I know I did more than my part to keep my table at the top of the list.

@MattinglysSideburns:

RU-DEE!

Proceed, monsieur.

But what about the lonely, alcoholic business traveller? Who will he tell his problems to?

@Paper Cut: /Barney Gumble and his lifetime supply of Duff.

Hook it into my veins!

/barney

But who's gonna pour a half-assed shamrock in your Guinness and feign interest in your job complaints?

@Paper Cut: "Don't cry for me Springfield, I'm already dead."

Now if they would only move the Patron taps from behind the bar...

@the_unsung_western_hero: Wow. That sounds like the expressway to a fistfight. Or a three car pileup.

@Gourmet Spud: I hear "Kristen" has an opening in her schedule.

@UkraineNotWeak: STATS. It's on Marietta in the old Adidas building right behind CNN (fancy that!), the Arena, etc. Of course, that's right smack in the middle of the path of the downtown tornado, so there may be some damage to sidestep.

@brougham:

That's the new place owned by 790 the Zone.

Also, It's More Difficult To Sexually Harass A Tap

Difficult, not impossible.

@TheStarterWife: They may have one of those mini-kegs with of Ciroc.

@UkraineNotWeak: Correct. I've heard the Ted has better food, but no one's there for that, I hope.

@brougham:

Here is the place:

[statsatl.com]

@brougham: The P-Diddy endorsed vodka? No thanks.

@