Deadspin
The Cincinnati Reds are hosting a promotion this year that will award one lucky fan with a brand new truck if any particular Red happens to hit the truck with a home run. The truck is perched in center field, 500 feet away. It's a neat promotion. Except that it's physically impossible for anyone to hit the truck.
Cue the math!
I marked it at 502 feet horizontally and 65 feet above field level. On a calm, 70 degree day, a player would have to hit the ball at 134.5 mph off the bat, which is beyond the realm of possibility using MLB baseballs and MLB bats.
With a 15 mph tail wind and a 90 degree day, a hit of 122.7 mph would reach the truck. That is in fact possible by someone like Alex Rodriguez, or maybe Wily Mo Pena, but I doubt a lefty could hit one that hard in that direction. Also, at 500 horizontal feet from home plate, that's quite a lucky shot to go in just the right direction. And by the way, last year one home run was hit at GABP in wind of 15 mph or greater. It just doesn't get that windy at game time there...
Red Reporter points out that it "might as well be on the moon," which gives us an idea: If anyone at Yankee Stadium this year hits a home run that goes through our apartment window, we will give one lucky fan $500 and a package of leftover Peeps from Easter. Also: We will sell our soul to Satan.
Monster Trucks for Reds, Redux [Red Reporter]
(UPDATE: The Reds respond!
Rick,
Thank you for your email. I will make sure it gets passed on to the appropriate people. While we recognize that the truck is hard/impossible to hit, please know that we will be giving away the truck at the end of the season to a lucky Reds fan.
Comments
Time to bring back the aluminum bats and win some lucky fan a new truck.
win a new truck, buff the huge dent for days, sounds like a deal.
I am Omnipotent! You must respect my AUTHORITI!
Someone better alert the marketing department, they were hoping to give away a truck or two a game.
Bring back steroids people. This is only a few short cycles of winstrol away from being a reality for some lucky redneck.
How did they get the truck up there? Did they just let a woman drive it? Am I right guys?
Ankiel will hit that truck 40 times this year.[/MatthewRotoGuy]
Is that truck bed filled with Skyline chili? If so, I will rig this contest so fast...so help God...
Who remembers the "HIT THIS SIGN AND WE'LL PAINT YOUR HOUSE" sign they used to have in the top right corner of the Shea Stadium scoreboard back in the 80s? I don't think anybody ever hit that one, either.
Cerrano could hit it...unless they threw him a curveball.
Ovechkin probably could put a puck through the back window of that truck if it was on Mars.
hopefully the soul of Marge Schott will haunt the damn thing
What, no Cadbury eggs?
Doesn't that imply that you HAVEN'T already sold your soul to the devil. To which I say Shenaigans!!!
Sounds like a job for steroids!
Bonus prizes are awarded if the ball lands in a 3-inch area that includes the Chiclets but not the erasers.
Pink or yellow Peeps? Also, I prefer them stale.
I'm holding my own promotion: the first fan to smash up Robert Castellini's car with a bat for allowing this stupid promotion will be given mad props.*
*Mad props will not be honoured.
In a similar move, the Royals have placed a 1981 Dodge Omni hatchback in nearby Independence, Mo.
Uncle Rico could do it.
/sorry
Funny, it's also physically impossible for the Reds to make the playoffs. It's a scientific fact.
Dusty Baker immediately demoted the truck to a used car dealership and replaced it with Corey Patterson.
Why would you sell your soul to a hockey player?
SCIENCE!
The Cardinals are also hoisting a truck up outside the stadium, but it'll come down only when Tony LaRussa blows into a certain tube.
Canseco thrilled he is the reason the truck is so high and far and stuff.
If anyone does hit it, the truck will topple directly onto Griffey's femur.
What about in batting practice? Sosa dented the roof of the black shed in center back in 2004 during batting practice ... granted it was Sosa and his bat was corked.
The New York Mets have a promotion where if you hit Matthew Broderick's car, you die.
Patience, Highlander. You have done well. But it'll take time. You are generations being born and dying. You are at one with all living things. Each man's thoughts and dreams are yours to know. You have power beyond imagination. Use it well, my friend.
@Suss--:
Heh heh.
And what's the deal with them always going to the bathroom together? Is it so they can plot how they are going to hide from me the fact that Sarah was cheating ON ME WITH MY BEST FRIEND FOR THREE MONTHS WITHOUT ME KNOWING!?! WHAT, YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D FIND OUT? HE WAS MY ROOMMATE, YOU STUPID SPOILED WHO...
/mic cuts out
Also, who wants to win a car with a dent in it?
"A rocket car could do it."
@ClueHeywood: It's between the Sheraton and the FCA headquarters.
/anyone?
"Also: We will sell our soul to Satan."
But isn't your soul already the legal property of Marge Simpson?
The Cubs have a same deal with Jon Lieber's truck, except the catch is that you have to avoid hitting the behemoth to win it.
Imagine what a fan might win if a Twin hit this.
Bo Jackson could do it.
@Weed Against Speed: Alyssa Milano?
The Orioles were going to do the same promotion, but they traded the truck for four Segways and a build your own cessna kit.
@jmjonesjr: In Tecmo Bowl, maybe.
@Weed Against Speed: Bukkake party?
The Texas Rangers have a similar promotion this year, except that they park a Toyota truck behind the plate when the visitors are batting.
@BloggyMcBlogBlog: @muggsybogues: It's much funnier if you read muggsy's post as a response to the question posed by Mr. McBlogBlog.
Guy A: "It's gonna hit that truck!"
Guy B: "There's... no... need... to... swear!"
The Pirates' promotion involves an immediate trade to a contender for the player who hits the home run, in exchange for a has-been and two never-will-bes. The lucky fan gets to enjoy the game at PNC Park, which should be reward enough for anyone.
Does a Bronson Arroyo CD come included?
I once saw Bill Brasky hit a Vespa perched on top of the Warehouse at Camden Yards.
No steak?
The Diamondbacks planned a similar promotion, until Eric Byrnes crashed it into the outfield pool! Whammy blammy zowie powie, you just got Byrned! Yeah!
@kayceebk: He didn't hit bull.
I'd hit it.
@metroville: It's already loaded in the CD player.
Screw the truck. If I won that promotion, I would insist that I be allowed to stomp the shit out of John Mellancamp.
Odds of hitting truck = Reds division title hopes
Ken Griffey Jr. fractured his C4 craning his neck to look at it.