What you missed while overdosing on Mad magazine fold-ins ...
• College basketball: That girl from human resources who has pictures of her cat taped to her computer and picks all the favorites every year is leading your office pool.
• NBA: Whoa, big traffic jam in the West; looks like you're gonna be late for work. Warriors 114, Mavericks 104.
• MLB: Nationals open new park by winning on Ryan Zimmerman homer in the ninth. Welcome, baseball. Now please pee in this cup.

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