Deadspin
If you've got extra space in your crib and have asked yourself recently, "What's a great way to blow some of my hard-earned cash on a completely unverifiable piece of athlete memorabilia?" then today is yours to rejoice in: You could be the owner of Michael Jordan's old, dirty water bed from when he was just a spindly-legged millionaire shooting guard with a receding hair-line and pair of ugly red and black high-tops.
Yes, this is supposedly the bed on which his Airness laid his weary head on night after night in the beginning of his career, except during Bulls' away games, family vacations and hoochie-and-cigar-filled gambling jags. Right now, the bid is at a very symbolic $23. If you are lucky enough to win this, you'll be in charge of pick-up, delivery and ridding the sheets of remarkable slow-twitch muscle fiber DNA — or not.
Comments
So, is this DU!AN? Can we get a ruling from The Balls?
And...Richie Sexson is already in midseason form.
I already sleep like Mike. Which is to say, not with his wife.
There's no way Cuba Gooding, Jr. doesn't win the shit out of this auction.
It's the post after What to Watch Tonight, so I'm assuming this is DUAN territory.
He's never gonna pass up Wilt on the all-time conquest list in a bed that small. Good riddance.
@Yostal: Speaking of balls, I have a date Thursday night with the voice of Stewie's talking scrotum from The Family Guy Movie.
How's that for random?
I'm going to buy it, collect the pubic hair, and create a race of Super Jordans, Jurassic Park-style.
What? I'm a businessman.
@Yinka Double Dare: OK, then I am going to pose my question (actually, a question that was just asked of me):
"If you could make one change to make your experience watching Major League Baseball on television better, what would it be? Please be specific."
My answer was "Force FOX to fire Tim McCarver for gross incompetence." So you must come up with your own.
@Roy Hobbs: Sadly, Milton Bradley isn't... After throwing his bat, he didn't get ejected. Shame, really.
Beds of famous people, now? What's next, things vaguely shaped like other things?
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.:
Big deal!!!
My scrotum can whistle the aria from Carmen while drinking a glass of water.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.: You couldn't get the Kim Jong Il from the Team America movie? Fail.
That thing's seen more ass than Jahidi White's toilet.
@Rock You Like An Iracane: He's also the voice of Outback Steakhouse. For what it's worth.
@Yostal: Less chitchat, more announcing. If there wasn't the weird delay, I'd just mute the tv and turn the radio on.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.: Jermaine Clement in Outback ads > Voice-over Guy in Outback ads
@Yostal: make all local market games available on free TV.
To improve the overall experience, make all local games available through on the radio through any channel acceptable to the station, just like the NFL.
You mean Oakley and Cliff Livingston won't deliver it to my house?
Off the headboard, ricochet off the throw pillow, under the comforter, nothing but pearl necklace.
@Yostal:
Prohibit announcers from openly rooting for the home team in favour of objective analysis.
SANTANA-RAMA!!
@Yostal: One small suggestion (slightly related to the question): Ditch the blackout restrictions on MLB.tv.
/wants to cancel cable, but keeps it for the Mariners' games.
On another note, I have Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome, Franklin Gutierrez, Alex Gordon and Mark Grudzielanek on my AL-Only rotisserie team. I feel like I should be in a comfortable first place tomorrow morning.
@PQ Crash:
Can't you get Ms games on the dish?
Madeline Albright? Wow Barney, nice work.
@Yostal: Who does the HIMYM intro?
@Slothrop: Sadly, my apartment complex doesn't take too kindly to drilling holes through the exterior of their buildings.
I should do it anyhow -- the apartment managers are bastards.
@Doyle McPoyle:
Walk like a Venezuelan?
@Fat-Fat: "Hey Beautiful" by The Solids
@PQ Crash: Same problem here. Fuckers.
@PQ Crash:
alas. I would get the dish, but Ms. Slothrop gets the howling fantods at the idea.
I'd love NESN and Sunday Ticket.
This kid Gomez for the Twins is scary fast.
Evening, DUAN.
Back-to-back nights of Joe Morgan is enough, ESPN.
@Yostal: You da man. Funny episode tonight.
@Fat-Fat: I'm really happy that Bays and Thomas have a solid love and understanding of sports and are able to incorporate it into the show.
So which baseball game is Gus Johnson calling tonight?
@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...: My heart rate just got back to normal after the Brewer win...don't make me think of JM.
Ugh... At least Sexson didn't have a chance to kill this rally. (He was the first out in the inning.)
@Fat-Fat: I'm tired of paying seventy dollars a month for content that I could (reasonably) get off the internet for free. Only the Mariners' and Seahawks' games keep me from pulling the plug on Comcast.
@Yostal: No more animated ANYTHING during broadcasts.
Hey everyone. I had a great weekend myself seeing my favorite hardcore band, Converge, at the Palladium in beautiful Worcester, Massachusetts.
Yostal, congrats for the Frozen Four invite. I am rooting for you guys to make BC lose for the 3rd straight year in the national championship. It was also great to see UNH fail again in the postseason. They also have inspired the possibly only website designed to fire a college hockey coach. [www.firedickumile.com]
I celebrate a UNH hockey loss in the tournament more than a Duke loss in the basketball tournament.
Jackie Chan + Jet Li = Five years too late.
@PQ Crash: No doubt. Plus dish offer more HD channels. I have to move.
@thefuseproject: especially creepy charles schwab commercials. they seriously sketch me out.
@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...: I guess not having to listen to Morgan is the one good thing about having the game blacked out in my area.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.: The ones where they "cartoonize" real people?! Not okay.
Sup everybody.
Yunel Escobar, of Cuban descent, has a new cheering section called "Yunel's Cartel." I hear they're moving a lot of yayo.
@The Awful Logo Face: I'll be honest, I swore when New Hampshire got that first goal, The Bad One and I said game over. And when Notre Dame won, it was stunning. Simply stunning.
@thefuseproject: there's a movie called 'waking life' that uses that kind of animation. no lie, i can't make it more than 20 minutes in before i pass out, if that, and i've tried to watch it at LEAST 10 times. something about that type of animation just overwhelms me and makes me pass out. like when your computer just freezes up. overstimulation or something.
@Fat-Fat: Another nail in the coffin for Comcast's HD lineup:
[gizmodo.com]
Those bastards.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.: Speaking of creepy commercials, has anyone seen the newest Burger King commercial set in the future with a robotic King? It raises the fear that the King could live forever. Who writes these scripts, Stephen King?
(Please ignore my awful pun. He is the most high profile supporter of UMaine, so I always have to give him props)
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.: I have a friend who absolutely HOUNDS me to watch that movie, and while before he started in on me I just wasn't interested, now I won't just to be spiteful.
@Yostal: I'm still mystified as to when Notre Dame found an offense. I mean, their offense already wasn't that good, and then they lost their leading scorer. How the heck did they manage 5 non-EN goals on a real team?
@Yostal: I don't think there's one general rule, so it would have to pertain to national broadcasts to be the most effective. I guess I would go with McCarver then. That or you could move McCarver to play-by-play and bring in a capable analyst. Mets fans know that he isn't terrible in that role.
Oh, BTW, thank you AJ for answering my question in the topic.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is the REAL white lobster.: I thought Waking Life was good. Good dialog.
@thef