Deadspin
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacrifice fly in the 10th that sealed the Cubs fate and kickstarted their 100-year anniversary of ineptitude on just the right note.
Perhaps even more troubling than the loss, was Kerry Wood's three-run ninth-inning barf as the Cubbies' new closer. Lou Piniella still maintains an aura of positivity, even though more games like this will surely result in dust-kicking temper tantrums or more desperate motivational techniques.
• Tom Gordon should just be vanquished to a small island and forced to eat himself. Brett Myers gave himself a mohawk and pitched like a number one starter for a few innings, then the inevitable 5th inning fade happened again and the Phillies were forced to go bull-penning. Ryan Madson gave up a couple, the Phillies tied it in the 8th, but then Flash came out turd-tossing in the 9th that led to a Washington Nationals offensive volcano. Final score: 11-6. Once again the Phillies start off with major concerns about their pitching staff, and the nagging feeling that the first part of the season will be absolutely horrible. Wake me when it's June.
• The Bastard Mets quest to forget about 2007 . Even worse for the Phillies, the Mets trotted out prized pig Johan Santana, who pitched seven strong innings and officially scared the brown stuff out of all National League contenders. David Wright popped a double in the fourth inning which provided more than enough runs to defeat the Florida Marlins. The one bright spot for Florida? Those lovable Manatees, who jiggled their way into the hearts of thousands of Miami women who like their dancing men rotund and smelling of cased meats.
• Speaking of fat guys...C.C. Sabathia looked bad in what may very well be his final opening day start as a Cleveland Screaming Native American. Lucky for him, Mark Buehrle was just wretched, giving up seven runs in a little less than two innings of work, putting his White Sox in a 7-2 hole early. But they rallied back and tied it up just long enough to make it interesting. Casey Blake spoiled the intrigue in the 8th with a three-run double which was enough to kill the Sox and illicit a litany of vile Venezuelan expletives from Ozzie Guillen.
• Uh oh, better get Safeco Making his Mariners debut, Erik Bedard threw approximately 435 pitches in just five innings but still managed to stifle the offensively incontinent Texas Rangers. Kevin Millwood gave up five runs, got the loss and is still wondering how the hell he once won 18 games for the Braves.
Comments
OH THE HUGE MANATEE
Good. No mention of Pirates/Braves.
Kevin Millwood gave up five runs, got the loss and is still wondering how the hell he once won 18 games for the Braves.
Leo Mazzone.
This closer is half the length of ESPN's summary of the rained out Yankees game.
I keep tellin ya, Eric Gagne sold his soul to the devil for 3 good years of baseball, just like Kurt Warner did for 3 good years of football.
It's the only explanation. That, or steroids, but steroids is too overused now.
We should throw batteries and snowballs or batteries in snowballs at Tom Gordon. Stay classy, Philadelphia!!!!!!
Billy Crystal Voice/
It's a...wonderful day for the Closer, for the Closer, to beginnnnn....
/end Billy Crystal
All hail the return of the proper Closer.
/Weather pun.
Once again...Tigers, Phillies, every other memeber of MLB. Do not bring in former Royals pitchers from the bullpen when the game is on the line. The time period of 1995-2006 was nothing more than watching the Royals bullpen blow up huge leads.
@Gourmet Spud:
but it's the last rained out opening day game in Yankee stadium, EVER.
Discuss: C.C. Sabathia, not a big-game pitcher.
Gagne is a couple rubber bands short of Lou Albano status. And Cap'n Lou probably throws better now.
@Gourmet Spud: I don't know, I found that three-hour retrospective of Yankee Stadium rainouts really fascinating.
HEY SEA SEA THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
The girl who loved Tom Gordon just called and said she hates him now.
/same old sorry-assed Phillies
@Juancho:
Retort: Opening Day, not a big game.
@Gourmet Spud:
...but how did the rainout affect the Red Soxs. Inquiring minds want to know.
"Even though it appeared that the Cubs, off the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 including the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne, the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings"
did fukudome write this himself? it's missing some...english.
@Secret Identity: I'm a Tribe Fan and it was my first opening day. That made it big for me.
I can only assume that in the great closer battle of Wood vs. Gagne, Lou Pinella and Ned Yost still firmly believe it is the year 2003, Saddam is indeed creating weapons of mass destruction and The Matrix Reloaded is going to be the best fucking sequel ever.
Lou,
Why is it everybody in Chicago and Northern Indiana knows Marmol is the guy, but you?
Signed,
Well... everybody
Manny Acosta's Dan Kolb impression was just hi-larious.
You will all go home when Xavier Nady tells you to go home!
The return of the MLB Closer. It's enough to make a grown man weep. I'm so glad baseball is back.
If nothing else, Lou Pinella giving off an "aura of positivity" should be cause for concern
Damn, I can't wait until Brad Lidge just back.
I think I just shit my pants a little.
@Matt_T:
I don't ever want to hear that name again.
@Juancho: CC would be a great big-game pitcher if he approached his job with the passion that he has for all-you-can-eat buffets
And now, Chien-Ming Wang is ♫ gonna-tell-us-all-about-the-rain.
/Tom Tucker'd
I look forward to Fukudome nearly winning games only to see the pitchers blow the game.
@Juancho: C'mon, it was opening day. It takes fat boy a little time to work into shape. He did sit down 7 in a row at one point. It had to be fun watching Borowski take his little stroll around the infield after every pitch, wondering just how interesting he was going to make it. Also, can we start calling Casey Blake "Mr. Opening Day"? I believe his offense has won us three out of the last four home openers.
@Juancho: C.C. Sabathia sure did look like he was picking up where he left off in the ALCS, didn't he?
For those of you who went to bed too early: Jake Peavy is a MAN. He may hit on men in drag at bars, but he's still a MAN.
@metrobulls: Yeah, he's looking huge- his agent must be apoplectic. He threw a lot of pitches in the first few frames, he was out of gas when he left.
@sleepyirv: That's funny. I feel the same way about Miguel Cabrera.
@Afino: He somehow got a no-no wtih Philly though.
Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!
/Charlie Brown yell after Lucy pulls the ball away. Again.
@Chief Wahoo: When they brought JoBo in, I said to my gf, well, this should be interesting. I was expecting a walk and and single with 2 outs, I'm he got the homer out of the way.
Highlight of the day: The guy behind me yelling "Bring in the Jap!" when JoBo gave it up.
As a life-long Pirate fan, it's just a wee bit disconcerting that this season started the same way as the last one:
Xavier Nady and Nate McLouth hitting home runs in a win.
And, unsurprisingly, the most exciting game of the day gets no mention in the Closer because the Pirates were part of it.
/not bitter at all
@Afino: That doesn't explain how the Orioles still couldn't win ballgames when he was pitching coach. . .what's that? Sam Perlozzo? Oh, right. . .
Nobody wants to talk about the Orioles? Sellout my ass. That stadium was nowhere near full. I hope they go 0-162. Stupid Angelos.
@Juancho:
Has C.C. ever pitched a decent opening day? I remember a few years ago against the Sox he pitched like crap and got injured in the oblique!!! (the oblique!!!)
Future segment for ESPN Sportscenter and/or Baseball Tonight: The Ultimate Rain Delay.
Which Major League team/ballpark conducts the best rain delay. Criteria include performance of ground crew in covering and uncovering the playing surface, scoreboard entertainment during rain delay and food/drink offered to pass the time.
Gagne coughed up a three-run lead? You're shitting me.
@Afino: I don't want to have to say it, but it was that ugly. But at least I got a free t shirt.
@tater: Not really, no. Not an April pitcher from my recollection. That's been the problem with the whole staff.
@Juancho: That is frigging hilarious. Given Cleveland sports history, Borowski is arguably the perfect closer for us. If we get deep in the playoffs and he is on the mound I leave all my earthly possessions to Ms. Wahoo.
Hope you enjoyed your first opener at the Jake. I remember hitting them at the old Municipal Stadium. It was one of the few games a year you couldn't play tag in one of the many empty sections of seats.
@Matt_T:
That should perserve the memory for 3 or 4 washings.
@youstayclassy: You can go ahead and give a synopsis of the 9th for me, by the time I changed to the Padres/Astros game the Pirates/Braves one mattered about as much as the 4 day old salsa on my table.
Cincy is off to the start I expected. I love that team for never letting me down.
I'm a mild baseball fan, at best - but that Neshek / Vlad AB is making me think I should watch this game more often...
@UkraineNotWeak: Best rain delay: Mike Hargrove at the plate.
@UkraineNotWeak: Or, "Who's Rain Delay!" where they try to make "Rain Delay" a synonym for "awesome", and compare rain delays and other weather-related postponements across all sports in tournament bracket style.
@Chief Wahoo: Worst: Steve Trachsel on the mound.
@A Pimp Named DaveR:
Byung Hyun-Kim is looking for employment, from what I gather.
@UkraineNotWeak:
I like shots of Mark Buehrle going slip and slide on the tarp and the funny things that happen when the tarp and grounds crew encounters a strong gust of wind.
@shea_guevara: [www.baseballlibrary.com]
If Grover ever faced Trachsel he'd still be at bat.
@A Pimp Named DaveR: Remember, you can't spell "closer" without "loser".
@shea_guevara:
I'm holding out for Berman's re-creation of Rick Dempsey doing The Babe at Fenway back about 25 years ago.
@youstayclassy: I watched quite a bit of that game. That McLouth kid looks really good.