Deadspin
Bad news for chronic deer penis ingesters planning on participating in the Beijing Olympics — you'll have to find something else to help you win a gold medal this year. Yes, deer penis and all sorts of other crazy Chinese voodoo medicines have officially been put on the no-no list by the Beijing IOC because some of the ancient traditional performance boosters contain high quantities of banned substances like ephedrine. (Turtle blood, caterpillar fungus, animal hoofs, leopard bone wine, etc.)
So, most Chinese athletes have stopped using. Except Yao Ming, who's apparently mainlining deer penis like a sweaty junkie in order to bounce back from his foot surgery. Ming's agent in China, Eric Zhang Mingji (rhymes with "fling-shee") says that Yao ain't stopping. "He will be taking Chinese medicines but hasn't started on the treatment yet,'' he tells Bloomberg News.
Will Yao actually risk disgracing his country? Still too early to tell. But we've all read enough Jim Carroll and William s. Burroughs to know how overpowering and soul-erasing an addiction to deer penis can be. Somebody should really intervene if they want to have Yao in uniform in '08.
Deer Penis Loses Flavor as China's Olympians Fear Drug Testers [Bloomberg]
Comments
In related news, A-Rod just quit the US Olympic baseball team.
Yes, Can I have the deer dick burger, medium rare with swiss, fries and a coke? Supersize it, please.
@Old No.7: but for ingesting a different kind of penis.
Tom Crean is going to Indiana. Fuck you later Queeny! I hope you Indiana fans enjoy having no low post presence.
So cat is still legal? No biggity then.
?
You are currently looking at the original, but banned ending to Bambi.
I used to know an old black guy that made Leopard Bone Wine in the trunk of his Cutlass.
@Doyle McPoyle: so this would be the director's cut?
"Say, an eight-point buck! No, wait a minute...it's nine."
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is a sparkling and gorgeous size 00...:
Most Hollywood types are Jews, so I assume they're all cut.
/squirms neurotically
/adjusts glasses
/calls mother
Some one should fight this ruling in court, and then we'll have Deer Jurisprudence.
Speaking of Burroughs, has anybody here seen Naked Lunch ? Man, that's one fucked up movie.
For some reason, they have yet to put the McRib on the list.
This video makes so much more sense now.
+ Watch video
@Secret Identity: So, in sports terms, they're NOT playing for team turtleneck?
@Secret Identity: /sues American Apparel
Wait, there are deer in China? I wonder if they also have sideways vaginas.
@Doyle McPoyle:
/attends secret meeting of bankers to control wealth of entire human civilization
Western medicine and nutritional supplements are becoming more prevalent in China because they are rigorously tested by pharmaceutical companies and don't carry as much uncertainty as Chinese counterparts
I knew they were "cutting" my deer penis with baking soda!
Hey, they only cost a buck.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Biggity?
(you have to say as Doug McKenzie to really do it right)
[www.youtube.com]
Well there goes Yi's incentive for staying with the Bucks.
But you can still lick toads, right?
@Sucko-T: I see what you are doeing there.
In related news, Indiana is trying to crean up its program:
[sports.espn.go.com]
[/Wang Chung'd]
In other news, Kaz Tadano has decided to skip the Games because he was afraid that Veni's son in his mouth would be frowned upon.
/cheap pun
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