Deadspin
... So says annoyed Arizona Republic columnist Dan Bickley, who suggests that the Cardinals' quarterback of the present (and, "the future", allegedly) is just dancing a little bit too closely with Mr. Poonstone for his own taste. Bickley trots out every worst-case scenario Leinart should have considered (They could've driven home drunk and killed a family! They could've cried rape!) before he and his lurking 34-year-old wingman Nick Lachey house-partied with a gaggle of underage ponies.
He is a starting quarterback in the NFL and the face of an entire franchise. He should not be in the same vicinity as a beer bong, much less holding one for a young girl.
The NFL is for men. Beer bongs are for drunk, stupid college kids.
Granted Bickely does have a point, and Leinart hasn't done anything thus far in his short NFL career to prove he's not destined to host celebrity golf tournaments or Hooters hula hoop contests in two years. But has Bickley considered the fact that maybe Leinart is blessed with more self-awareness than most dumber-than-dirt athletes? Perhaps, Leinart knows that his NFL lifespan will be a short, unremarkable one, and he should enjoy it to its fullest extent while he's still there.
2008 will probably be the year that all of those questions are answered. But the Cardinals' marketing department should really embrace this aspect of their quarterback and consider putting out a Buzzsaw Bong prior to the start of the new season. Everyone should enjoy the sunset.
Hey, Matt, It's Time To Grow Up [Arizona Republic]
Matt Leinart Is Taking His Off-Season Film Work Quite Seriously [Deadspin]
(Tip: Brooks)
Comments
Mark Chmura approves!
Guess I should return my NFL Licensed Beer Bong now.
Yahoo! Sports is figuring out a way to link this to Reggie Bush.
There are many practical as well as spiritual as well as financial reasons we should consider Matt Leinart's behavBLAH BLAH BLAH HOLY GOD CHECK OUT THAT BRUNETTE IN THE BLUE TOP! OH MY DAMN! Football? I submit to you sir - schmootball.
I don't know if the NFL is exactly for "men."
And isn't it telling that that picture is: yes, yes, NO, yes yes.
Who are all those really fat girls with Matt Leinart?
Yes, DUAN is bong-slurping falls from grace? Woo!
yes, yes, chlamydia, yes, yes
@cazart: seriously, she's a cutie. She could do better than Leinart.
@SlantedAndDisenchanted: I must put them on my diet-vitamins, 2 olives a day diet. They can lick a tic-tac then discreetly spit afterwards for their sweet fix.
/I am having way too much fun playing a Condenasty. Help.
@Lady Andrea: No love for the lefties? Or is it the that his dongle has touched Paris Hilton?
According to Demetri Martin, Matt's hat reveals he's a bigger fan of date rape than sports.
@Lady Andrea: i kindly disagree. she's ok, but not better than any of the other ladies in the picture. she's 20 and has overly saggy boobs already. plus, her face isn't great in that picture.
@TattooedMess(iah): Which is fitting for a Cardinal's first round pick.
@The Fan's Attic: It's the one between Leinart and her that's a no for me; she has one of those 20 going 35 looks. No way that girl ages well.
I'd be content with contestant #1. Stupid NFL QBs hording all the drunk 20 year olds.
@The Fan's Attic: quick physics lesson: natural boobs that big are going to be a bit more "saggy" than fake ones that big or natural ones that are smaller.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: the one to the left to the leinart i approve of.
@The Fan's Attic: no way, she's the cutest of the bunch.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: that's a fair assessment, but my trashing on Leinart is ruined if I "no" one of the girls.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: lefties are fine. It's Leinart I don't like.
If beer bongs are only for "drunk, stupid college kids," I better go get another degree.
Dan Bickley is right; Matt Leinart should know better. Instead of engaging in dangerous activities such as hot-tubbing or beer-bonging during the offseason, he should take up motorcycling.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is a sparkling and gorgeous size 00...: She's got the crazy eyes, that smile makes her look like she's gonna buy Leinart a bunny just to boil it.
But yeah, I'd do her.
I'd definitely pick contestant number 1. She's hawt! Me likey da blondes.
I like how the balls and fearless leader keep posting late in the day, hoping to get the official DU!AN post and collect the money from those sweet late-night page views.
guns, strip clubs, dwis, syrp, car wrecks, domestic assault... OK!
beer bongs??? NEVER!
I like the one with the great personality!
/just bullshittin... the one on the right
My god do I wish that my future son (now but a twinkle alas) is gifted with a 6'3" frame and laser rocket arm. Good heavens Matty's having a time.
and evening duan.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: da crazy eyes just means she has large pupils, which is hot. and she's a dark haired/dark eyed person, which means i'm dunzo.
plus i like her bikini.
(on my floor! hi-o!)
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is a sparkling and gorgeous size 00...: Thanks Professor Newton.
@Lady Andrea: Different strokes for different folks. I'd put her in the no pile relative to the others and based on looks.
@Fat-Fat: I like blondes too (and I'm happy being back as one), but that one scares me a little.
@Lady Andrea: Even if she's a no she could still do better then Leinart; clearly he's no prize pig. At least the sex cannon seems to have some class while he plows entire sororities in a night.
@The Fan's Attic: after some of the shit that's been typed by me today, trust. that was nothing.
@The Fan's Attic: that is true. It took me until I was 21 to realize that guys have different tastes (I know...WHAT?) and that you don't have to be 5'2, 90 lbs blonde hair/blue eyes to be the hottest girl to somebody. It was a nice epiphany.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is a sparkling and gorgeous size 00...: Really it's the smile more then the crazy eyes; her smile is kinda creeping me out. But I'd put her in a tie with the girl on the right, behind the one on the left.
So, who was it earlier today that said FredEx was getting better gap than Leinart?
Beer Bongs are for stupid, drunk college kids.
Real NFLers consume Purple Drank.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: I'm not sure Leinart is too concerned about how quickly she'll age. Unless it spontaneously and dramatically happens during the act, of course.
@supermike5alive: The green-clad young lady in your avatar pic is a Celtics fan I wouldn't mind having a chat with.
@Lady Andrea: Where as I find her the least scary. Weird.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Me too. She's just smiling and look cute at that angle. She is probably smokin hot with a normal picture.
@Lady Andrea: I didn't know you left the ranks.
@Brazil Thrill: Yeah, but the odds are he's gonna impregnate one of them so he's gonna have to put up with her for at least a few years. Wouldn't want people questioning his cocksmanship when she's looking weathered at the age of 29.
@Fat-Fat: Exactly, she has a nice smile. I'd trust her with my bunny rabbit if I had one.
Where's Dr. Joyce Brothers?
Mike and Mike would have assigned all of those ladies numerical rankings by now
Travis Henry is not impressed.
Brook looks better every dang week.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is a sparkling and gorgeous size 00...: so you're like the anti-Roy Williams today? giving [a] shit to everybody.
@Lady Andrea: that's just what we want you to believe.
@Fat-Fat: back in November I went really dark and then just last week went back to blonde. It was fun.
Post to see comments night?
Brooke= Meh
Hey Cabrera, it's the first day, you don't have to be such a keener.
@The Fan's Attic: well...thanks. That's nice.
@Steve Trachsel, Ace: no kidding. God she's pretty. I love her.
@