You and your NL West bias.

... Needs less Blogdome.

Why don't the Giants just use "Yakety Sax"?

If he keeps throwing one-run CGs at division rivals, I don't give a good Goddamn if he's got puppy blood on his fingers.

What!!! Nothing on the beloved Red Sox losing in Canada. Must be that United States bias.

glad to know that last night was, in fact, just my imagination and that it didn't happen according the The Closer

What's all this about the first-place Orioles?

Teixiera can eat a big of dicks. And way to go Heilman!

Looks like Peavy has some tar on his hand or is a fan of "two in the stink and one in the pink."

Which Tiger will win first this week?

Woods or Detroit? :)

Your Cardinals Update: The Cardinals are now 5-1, and (sorry, I can't help myself here) if the season ended today, would be tied for the division crown with Milwaukee ... undoubtedly having to settle for the wild card, as - under a little-known "non head-to-head" tiebreaker provision - the division title goes to the team which features the most racing meat.

It's a good thing the shitty White Sox came to town after the Tigers were swept by the Royals. Otherwise they'd be completely screwed.

@Sherrill-Theory:

Is "blit meat" considered a racing meat?

@UkraineNotWeak: I've got my money on Montecore at this point

@UkraineNotWeak: It's certainly a "racy" meat and - at times - a bit of a slut.

Rick Ankiel - 2008 NL MVP

/guaranteed star status from now on

@Jerkwheat: It was just your imagination (ooooooooh) running away with you.

@UkraineNotWeak:
As a KU fan I hope it isn't Memphis.

Julio Lugo was supposed to write the Red Sox-Blue Jays snippet but he dropped the ball.

@TheMayorOfSabanation: Matthew Berry?

@TheMayorOfSabanation:
Will???

If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.

/NASCAR'd

Just to let you guys know, in case you haven't had the pleasure of hearing them, yes, the Braves announcers suck a metric assload of dick. Their level of whining regarding Wright winning the Gold Glove over good ol' Larry was pretty funny, though.

@Clare: I knew someone was gonna pick that one up, kudos to you

@Secret Identity: Sean Casey was going to give him a hand with that, but he's all thumbs.

Is it just a coincidence that the 3 fingers that grip the ball have a mysterious substance on them?

I'd like to propose that Peavy call that pitch 'The Pringle'

@Doyle McPoyle: I spent Friday night listening to Gary Thorne talk about Richie "Sexton". Agh.

That substance was probably just deer blood. All the Padres were out hunting before the game. Hell, they didn't even have enough time to change.

I heard that Antonio Alfonseca used to use a sixth finger when he pitched. The lengths some will go to to gain an edge.

@Schluby:
Yeah, Mordecai Brown used farm machinery to get an edge.

@Doyle McPoyle: But they have a good point.

@StupidAngelos:

Carlos Quinlan had a good night at the plate for the White Sox last night.

The worst Thorne-ism was that for years he called Janne Niinimaa "Janne Nii-mi-naa". Drove me nuts.

@Doyle McPoyle:

Better than listening to Gary Cohen say "Jeff Fran-curr".

SNY killed me yesterday. Damn MLB.tv blackout.

@StupidAngelos: I like to call him Richie Sextant.

@Doyle McPoyle: Larry whined enough about it in the offseason himself.

And I know the Braves won both games, but they can't be happy with Soriano as their closer. Good god, he looked terrified out there--and with a three-run lead, no less. Woulda blown the save, too, were it not for a great play by Teixeira.

@BigTenObsession:

Soriano can eat a bag of dicks too. He better have bought Tex dinner.

Oh, but SNY did give me one shining moment:

Keith Hernandez talking about his wood.

@Afino:
John Rocker, Mark Wohlers, and Dan Kolb are still available.

@Afino: If you watch SNY on a regular basis, the Keith Hernandez moments are glorious.

There are times when he is generally insightful about the game. And then there are times when the game is so boring or sloppy that he just gives up and starts talking about how he can't wait to get back to the hotel for a steak and a bottle of wine.

Boston Red Sox 2008... what happens in Canada stays in Canada?

@BigTenObsession: Sometimes it's the small things (2 game sweep over the Mets) that makes life worth living...

@shea_guevara: My favorite is when he gets bored and rips on random fans when the cameraman scans the crowd. I always imagine Ron Darling sitting there horrified.

@shea_guevara: Hernandez is also the guy who roots openly against extra innings because he has a long drive home. He also happens to be a really good color guy, as is Darling.

@Doyle McPoyle: Wright didnt deserve it, but Larry sure as hell didn't either.

Johan must have thought he was still with the Twins.

completely off topic/

So did they or didn't they?

Jay-Z and Beyonce

@shea_guevara: I was particularly fond of the back-and-forth about the yellow and orange SNY shirt yesterday. "The important thing is that you like it."

With last night's stellar performance, Mark Buehrle dropped his ERA all the way to 8.31

It's fun to have the Sox offense back after a year's hiatus. I just hope that they stash Owens on the bench after he's healthy (or hell, send him to the minors and keep Anderson around as the defensive replacement guy) and leave Quentin in, don't mess with what's working.

Yes, Ozzie will mess with what's working and not only play Owens but bat him leadoff. Argh.

@twoeightnine: Yeah, didn't someone say on Friday that the Sox were a gift to the Tigers for them to play around with? Whoops, kind of missed the call on that one.

@Yinka Double Dare:

You've gotta play Owens. Owens is awesome.

/has Owens in the pool

@elwood:
Gulp...I wouldn't want to be me right now.

[deadspin.com]

@Phony Gwynn: That would be ironic for someone who plays at PETCO Field (I hope).

@tater: Well you know, in all fairness, no sane person would predict that ANY team would get swept by the White Sox.

Gotta love Leyland IBBing Pierzynski down by 7 to load them for Quentin in the 9th. Quentin promptly tripled.

ay-yi-yi... Smoltz'd again...

@Sherrill-Theory: Interesting tidbit from the Post-Dispatch's Derrick Goold- As of this morning, there are EIGHT pitchers in baseball with as many or more RBIs than Albert Pujols.

Three are on his team.

@crazyjoedavola: That was probably Zimmerman's Gold Glove.

@Upshaws Leash: He's John Smoltz; he's been pitching for 20 years; maybe the Mets might want to, I don't know, go after all those first-pitch strikes?

Oh yeah: Carlos Beltran- SWING! in the late innings! Haven't you learned yet?

@Afino: You've got to admit, though, mispronunciations aside, Cohen might be the best PBP guy in baseball right now

/wild, wild homerism.

@kayceebk: i'm going with these excuses: (A) the Mets never play well in ATL; and (B) Hudson and Smoltz are two of the best.

coming soon!: it's only May, Reyes will turn it around, Luis Castillo is rumored to be considering contacting Clemens for some HGH

@Upshaws Leash: Those excuses will not wash in October. They've all collectively seen Smoltz enough times to know that if they're taking the first pitch, they'll be down 0-1 about 90 percent of the time. Poke the ball into shallow center, make Kotsay dive, and start a conga line around the bases.

@Doyle McPoyle:

Little Davey Wrong is freakin garbage. He couldn't hold Chip's jock, what with it being 900 pounds...so as to support his massive balls, which are used to impregnate hooter's waitresses throughout the country.

mets suck.