Deadspin
The Masters does begin tomorrow morning, at 8 a.m. (So set your alarms!) And, as mentioned last month, it will be telecast on ESPN, minus Chris Berman. We do not envy the exec who had to deliver that news to Boomer.
This is The Masters, after all, and it is Very Serious. In an odd way, we kind of wish Berman were broadcasting The Masters; his signature brio and bluster might take the tournament down a notch. If Chris Berman is broadcasting your event, you can't be that fancy.
Not that The Masters isn't hip with the new technology; check out their hi-LARIOUS new official blogger.
We do miss Gary McCord, though we only know that because we play the Tiger Woods video game.
ESPN Experiencing The Slippery Slopes At Augusta [Washington Post]
Comments
I got about 4 seconds into that video before the boredom and outright hackiness of the comed...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
It's just as well. The only leather that the women of Augusta wear is on their faces.
But we WILL have David Feherty, who is genuinely awesome:
"I'm here with Rich Beem, who is so laid back right now he can barely see over his pelvis..."
Craig Stadler has really let himself go.
It's not like they hired Tucker Max to blog for them, (though that would certainly be an unusual view of the Masters, I must say)...
That would certainly be the first time Tucker Max writes something new in about 3 years.
Photoshopped! There's 4 black people in that photo, none of whom is Tiger or Calvin Peete, so it obviously couldn't have been taken at Augusta.
/nice baseball grip too, BTW
Stu Scott is about to bust a booyah on the mike when Berman swings.
That old lady sure has a funky grip on that club.
@Bob Loblaw:
She learned it from Happy Gilmore.
This is the first Masters I won't be attending in like 6 years.
Le sigh.
they slipped some deux deux deux in his water before they broke the news
Are there any photos where Stu Scott doesn't have a microphone in his hand?
WHADDYA MEAN I'M NOT DOING THE MASTERS?!?!
JESUS H CHRIST!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN' ON AROUND HERE?!?!
/Berman
Apparently, this tournament is a tradition unlike any other. (cue cheesy Masters theme music)
I hope nobody moved during the backswing. I'll be watching the replay for the next 10 years.
Will Durst is from Wisconsin and I fucking hate that fact. He's a douche. Douches can be funny. Not him.
Way Emwee, get weddy.
No one?
PENS GOAL!!!!
Those shorts would be tight on Gilbert Brown.
No one?
My caps lock can't make a buzzer sound anymore.
@MrRedDevil: Jesus, it's like you guys never covered golf before! I can't... I can't believe what I just heard. What, is this your first fuckin' time at the Masters?! Jesus!
@Raskolnikov: I'm stuck listening to the game until I can slip over to the bar to watch the rest of the game before a show tonight. Sounds crazy already.
I heard a couple of deux-deux-deuxs give Berman's backswing a little pop.
@Fat-Fat: Not to mention he is a huge liberal (not that there is anything wrong with that.) But it was Martha Burke (raging lefist feminist) who hates the Masters for not allowing women into a men's club. I am sure he agreed with that stance. I think he did anyway. So either he's a sell-out or Augusta members are actually democrats. Which I am sure would counter some stereotypes of the members and make some heads explode.
/shits pants
The man has his own weather system.
@Brazil Thrill-Gasm:
Who cares that I told Tiger that I once rubbed one out while looking at a picture of his wife!!! Who hasn't?! What's the big fucking deal?!?!
It's like you guys haven't fucked around with an athlete before!!! Jesus Christ!!! I used to shit in Jim Kelly's fish tank while his dog watched!!! What's the big fucking deal?!?!?!?
/Berman
So is this The Masters where the "Tiger Woods is on 'roids" talk finally blows up, or is it a bit early?
Hi, is this DU!AN? No?
/shows self out
//Will plays the Tiger Woods video game?
@Rock You Like An Iracane:
I think so...how did everything go today?
no, kid, guy, guy, martin lawrence, guy, guy, no, hell no, kid, guy, stu scott, guy, maybe, berman
@lisa: Lisa!
@MrRedDevil:
Hello good sir! And how are you?
Hello DUAN! Am I late to the party again?
@lisa: so so...my father passed this morning.
@MrRedDevil: My sincere condolences!!!
@Rock You Like An Iracane:
ps thanks for the support of Pat Summitt earlier...she is really an institution...and a great asset to Women's Basketball and to the University.
@MrRedDevil: Shit, Mr. RD. Condolences.
@longefellowes: thanks!
I don't know why my level of annoyance is so high today. Probably because its like PULLING TEETH to get someone to go to the Sox Yankee game next Wednesday with me.
@Detective Bunk: thanks
@MrRedDevil: :(! sorry to hear...
I kind of hoped Berman would stay. At least a random explative would have made things interesting.
@Lizabelle: thanks
@Lizabelle: You're kidding, right?
@longefellowes: I have too many friends who work nights. Actually, that should read I have crushes on too many boys that work nights.
@longefellowes: you couldn't pay me to go to a Sox-Yanks game. Just sayin.
@MrRedDevil:
Oh...I am so sad for you. No one is prepared for the death of a parent, I lost my dad 16 years ago this July. Sometimes, I still have pangs of regret...but as cliched as it may sound now...he is in a better place. Our family will keep your family in our prayers.
Feherty is beyond awesome.
FRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Way to show up, Ottawa.
@lisa: Thanks Lisa.
@MrRedDevil: Yeah, but I'm a Tribe fan. I'd feed on the hate like a remora fish...
@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...:
MAN UTD v BARCA, STEEL CAGE MATCH!!!
@lisa: Things went...well. I go back next week.
@Gourmet Spud: I would believe the Tiger-'roids thing if I didn't think Tiger only looks the way he does 'cause he works at it.
@MrRedDevil: If you're at UF still, I...well, I can't buy you a beer, but I'd pay for it.
@MrRedDevil: Also, my sympathies. Losing anyone is hard.
@MrRedDevil: No kidding! Although if you include recent results it looks like your boys have the advantage going in.
@MrRedDevil: sorry, man. not sure if you're religious or not, but at least he won't have to suffer anymore.
@Rock You Like An Iracane:
Good for you...very brave thing for you to do...
@Matt_T: I heard Feherty on Rome's radio show like a year or two ago. He was talking about how he sobered up and got off the bottle.
Anyway, he was at the Doctor's office a few years ago, and they doctor asked him how much he drank. David said a bottle of whiskey a day. The Dr said "Jeez David, don't you think you need some help?" David said "No Doc, I can drink it on my own just fine,"
@Rock You Like An Iracane: Thanks
@notthequarterback: Thanks
@MrRedDevil: My deepest condolences.
i hate children.
that's all.
@MrRedDevil: i'm sorry to hear about your dad. we're all thinking about you and your family.
@Detective Bunk: You would think so, but Rio and Vidic have me nervous right now. And Barca has too much talent. I'm nervous about the CL and the Prem.