
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom didn't exactly win friends and influence people on Wednesday when he decided to play an elaborate game of Hide the Salami with the Olympic Torch. The relay's only North American stop was scheduled to be a happy, glorious people's jog from AT&T Park, down the waterfront to Fisherman's Wharf. But spooked by upwards of 10,000 demonstrators — including the guy with the craft project seen above, here — SF officials instead treated the torch like a mobster in the witness protection program. It's in Chinatown, it's in SoMa, it's on a boat ... where the $%!& is it?
No joyous celebration of Olympic unity here. Following the opening ceremony, the torch was shuttled by bus to several undisclosed locations throughout the city before being whisked back to San Francisco International Airport and sent packing to Argentina. Hey, didn't they do that with former Nazis during the Cold War? Goodbye, torch: It was a powerful experience, even though I never actually saw you.
The torch was supposed to set off from McCovey Cove at 1 p.m., but by about 10:30 there were already 8,000 or so demonstrators packed into the area around At&T Park, and that made Newsom absolutely freak. Fearing that his elaborately arranged hairdo might get ruffled, he took evasive action, staging a series of sporadic mini-runs throughout the city. This delighted the Chinese government, but practically no one else. So, with no torch to look at, the different factions amused themselves by screaming at each other.
Witness my marginal photography skills here.
The pro-Tibet and pro-Chinese factions were supposed to have been separated on opposite sides of King Street, but soon began intermingling with little or no notice by the police. A few scuffles broke out, but it mostly remained peaceful, if loud. One thing I discovered is that the Chinese consider it the greatest form of debate tactic to stand near an opponent and beat loudly on a gong. The louder the gong, the more he he feels he is winning the argument. The blowing of whistles is also an effective way to get your point across. And when all else fails, scream confusing chants into an electric megaphone.
Overall impressions of Wednesday? A little bit of a letdown, and I'm a little ashamed, actually. Here we are, supposed to be this bastion of free speech, and at the first sign of trouble we become French. Oh, we've got to hide the torch because there might be trouble. Don't they know that we thrive on trouble? San Francisco was constructed with the stuff; built with controversy, brick by brick. The people who came out on both sides of the Olympic embroglio did their part to hold up the tradition on Wednesday, but local government let us down. On Wednesday we might as well have been Des Moines.



Torch Kept From Demonstrators, Rushed Away [MSNBC]
Torch Protest Photos
Obama Urges Bush To Consider Beijing Boycott [MSNBC]









Comments
an elaborate game of Hide the Salami with the Olympic Torch
Kinky, Rick. Kinky. That's gotta burn.
Well, the Chinese do control most of our manufacturing now, why shouldn't the mayor of one of the most liberal cities in America fold like a cheap suit to make them happy?
-1000 flowers blooming to SF
Controversy? Thought they built that city on rock 'n' roll.
Des Moines isn't as good at math...
They were also Rick Rolled yesterday...
+ Watch video
@preciousroy: Now they're knee-deep in the hoopla.
San Francisco is the French part of the United States.
I'm boycotting the Olympics in favor of the Goodwill Games.
When do we get the Deadspin: Beijing office take on this?
The louder the gong, the more he he feels he is winning the argument. The blowing of whistles is also an effective way to get your point across. And when all else fails, scream confusing chants into an electric megaphone.
Stupid Chinese, they are years behind Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith in this practice.
I got to say, if the Chinese wanted a protest-free torch running San Francisco was probably not the smartest choice. Those whack-jobs will riot over a cloudy day.
You'd think most of the San Francisco population would enjoy a good game of Hide the Salami.
Two words, Mayor Newsom: Decoy torches.
/do I have to think of everything?
I don't want to work...I just want to bang on the gong all day.
Tiananmen Square re-enactors > Civil War re-enactors
Beat the Falun Gong Slowly
/Sino'd? Sinoiz'd?
Get it on...Bang a Gong.
I miss Robert Palmer.
@econdave: Simonized?
In all fairness, the protests were the only ones in the world that could be seen from space.
@econdave:
Beat. Bang. Whatever.
at the first sign of trouble we become French. Oh, we've got to hide the torch because there might be trouble.
We did not hide the torch! We merely surrounded it by the entire gendarmerie.
Do the Special Olympics use a torch? Or for purposes of safety, do they rely on a flashlight?
More importantly, would the British even notice such a change?
They should have moved the torch relay from San Francisco to Altamont like they did that Rolling Stones concert in 1969. That worked out well.
@DeepFriar: As soon as the imperialist dogs are taken down off the rack.
@Stay Away From Oprah:
I intend to rickroll my boss at my meeting on Monday. He never says anything reasonable anyway.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Or, you know, Marc Bolan.
This would have never happened in Oakland.
You would think SF would have experience dealing with torches, since so many songs about them are sung there.
/Harvey Firestein'd
@Stay Away From Oprah: Are you sure they weren't eggrolled?
How dare these protesters sully the grand Olympic Torch tradition begun by Adolf Hitler!
"Wait up ladies. I have a torch I wanna hide."
I saw Nibbles there with flowers in his hair.
@Weed Against Speed: As long as the Hell's Angels were available, what could go wrong?
When the protesters finally discovered where the torch was located, they turned to Mayor Newsom and said "Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?"
@apostles03: I always assumed nibbles to be female.
@Weed Against Speed: the Hells Angels love both the Olympics and oppressive regimes
Martin Lawrence is really giving it to Jackie Chan in that last photo. Then again I wasn't a big fan of "Rush Hour 3" either.
That guy putting the forearm shiver in the last picture was immediately signed by the Ottowa Senators.
- Put on hit on somebody, sheesh
There hasn't been this much of a protest since Jack Bauer got kidnapped by the Chinese
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: +1
scream confusing chants into an electric megaphone
What do we want?
Fry's dog!
When do we want it?
Fry's dog!
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Yeah, but I don't miss him as much as I do Robert Palmer.
@The Gizmo from Pismo: Gordon Bombay agrees.
Why hate on Des Moines? We gave you all the team that Western Kentucky beat for one of those amazing finishes everyone loves.
/They suck from this end
//Still a little depressed
Did everybody just now realize the Olympics were in China. Haven't they been announced for like 4 years by now?
@BigTenObsession: The Sushi joint across from my house (owned by Rick) has had a "Rick Roll" since it opened. I rickroll myself at least once a week, usually with a pint of Sapporo, too.
Was Nibbles there with Steely McBeam or was he there trolling?
@David Hume:
pssst. Kirin>>>>>Sapporo
Two words: Olympic Flamethrower
/who wants a piece of me?!
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: TAKE THAT BACK. TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.
@The Gizmo from Pismo @ghostsoftheSCupcountry: both Nibbles and Steely were looking for hamsters.....Nibbles wanted a female, but Steely was just looking for one to grease up and shove up his ass.
Bottom photo:
Protester: What I haven't told you, or anyone else for that matter, is that my father's been in a Red Chinese prison for the past fourteen years.
Police Officer: Get back!
I enjoyed those two guys holding the "Go Warriors" sign. Sports fans out of their element, or extremely deep counter-protestors?
Wait, the Olympic torch was touring the US?
Well, looks like Will's book tour wasn't the only thing to bypass the Twin Cities.
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: I didn't say I didn't miss Marc Bolan and T. Rex too. I just miss Robert Palmer a bit more, 'kay?