Deadspin
You may remember, from Pat Jordan's already famous story for us about trying to interview Jose Canseco, his lawyer "Rob," a "a Cherokee Indian from North Carolina" who, after four years working for Jose, had yet to be paid. Well, Canseco might have just done Rob — whose real name is Robert Saunooke — a big favor: He just fired him.
Saunooke seems a bit bewildered by the firing ... and more than a little relieved.
"What's percolating is I don't represent him anymore. I terminated my relationship with him," said Saunooke. "Just moving on. It's a number of things. Irreconcilable differences, disagreement on some issues. I just don't need the hassle anymore."
Here's perhaps our favorite section on Canseco and Saunooke from the story:
Over the last few years, Rob has negotiated prospective deals for Jose worth almost $2 million. Rob got Taco Bell to ante up $25,000, plus residuals, for Jose to star in a TV commercial in which Jose would hold up a huge burrito and say, "This thing's gotta be on something." Jose demanded $50,000 instead and Taco Bell walked. Rob also got Jose an offer of $100,000 from GoldenPalace.com, which would require Jose simply to wear that company's t-shirt and cap whenever he was on TV. Jose demanded $200,000 and Golden Palace walked. Then, Rob got Jose an offer of $75,000 from a reality TV show that wanted to film Jose in a wheelchair for thirty days. Jose demanded more, and the TV show vanished. Finally, Rob got Jose an offer of $500,000 for a movie based on his life, but Jose demanded $1.5 million and the offer vanished. "I told him, 'You're not Bill Clinton, Jose!'" said Rob.
Rob, we congratulate you on your return to the world of the sane.
Jose Canseco Parts Ways With His Longtime Agent [New York Daily News]
Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan [Deadspin]
Comments
canseco, a worse canseco.
Rob, if you are reading this, I will do anything Taco Bell wants me to do with a taco, and I'll do it for $50. Or 50 tacos, whichever is easiest.
Nice to see Canseco using the often overlooked Niles Standish Method Of Haggling.
"What are you offering me? Now take that number and double it."
The funny thing is Rob could never get Jose reservations at trendy restaurants.
things more amusing than attorney's misuse of basic words such as "percolating", ready... go!
But did he bone Jose's wife?
[looks at picture]
[looks away, splashes face with water]
[looks at picture]
Which one is ... !
@ltwinslow:
Maybe he negotiated a deal with Folgers?
"Dude, I've got it! Twin porn!"
Jose should take on the Dennis Rodman method of making money
play catch in yard $100
show bloody underwear $200
bang my wife $300
"You're not Bill Clinton Jose."
No, that's the uber-patriotic Felix Jose's newborn son.
I hope he sues Canseco for back pay.
Watching Jose filmed in a wheelchair for 30 days would have been quality TV. It's a shame the world will never get to see it.
That is the worst picture of those whores from "Sister, Sister" I've ever seen.
I'll play your game, Lieutenant.
Ozzie Canseco offered to do it for the taco
Ozzie should sue Jose for image infringement
things an attorney can do to get jose canseco to pay his attorney's bills...
a) wear more see through shirts
b) speak fucking english properly
c) book deal
You know you are a total dick when you have a falling out with your lawyer and people see him as the good guy.
I still don't understand how Rob Saunooke thought he was going to get paid in the first place when it's clear that Jose spends all of his money on top-dollar haircuts.
@Suss--: This wine has a great afterbirth?
its like a bad movie where the same guy plays both two characters and just combs his hair differently for a disguise
@Le K de K: But in Jose's case, all you'd get would be acne.
I once got a free 8 piece basket of wings for appearing in the local cable ad for Pete's Poultry Place. Based on the "results" later in the night, I'm glad I didn't negotiate the 15 piece basket.
Rob got Jose an offer of $75,000 from a reality TV show that wanted to film Jose in a wheelchair for thirty days.
I'm gonna take a wild stab in the dark and guess that whatever producer thought this up has a profound coke habit.
@MattinglysSideburns:
A guy with sideburns as long as yours is in no place to be criticizing.
The most unbelievable part is, Jose still thinks he is owed money for having his name painted on the floor of the Pacers' home court.
That's odd. I was expecting a noble 'How.' from the former lawyer.
Jose: Money talks and Bullshit walks.
Ozzie: How can bullshit walk?
I wonder if it was because Rob called Jose a "piece of shit" to a journalist?
Needs more see-thru shirts.
No, wait. That came out all wrong.
@Burning River: That would be funny if it was spelled the same. -1 to me.
@ClueHeywood: that would imply literacy, though
BOI JOO NEE A JOB YOU CAN WORK FOR ARAH N SHOW HEEM ALL THE SHE MALE MUSCLAR TYPE!
@shea_guevara:
No, they just work for VH1.
@Secret Identity: O AN HE SEXY!
@shea_guevara:
yeah that narrows it down
The Canseco brothers, pictured here, bring their martial arts skills to the remake of Double Dragon: The Movie.
@Weed Against Speed: "Oak-y afterbirth"
Jose was frustrated that Saunooke, of all people, couldn't get him a decent reservation anywhere
Two guys, one syringe.
"Just moving on. It's a number of things. Irreconcilable differences, disagreement on some issues. I just don't need the hassle anymore."
In other words, Rob's too busy now, he's writing a book, and a movie, about his life.
Released into the wild? Does this mean there's gonna be a big party called Cansecopalooza with Snoop Dogg and his friend in the green hat, where Ozzie decides he wants to go streaking through the quad up to the gymnasium?
@Weed Against Speed:
If I give you a +1 and then take it back, what does that make me again?
@Tugnutt's Five-Hole: I realized that right after I clicked submit. Ugh.
@BigTenObsession: Are those two things mutually exclusive?
What kind of lawyer works for four years without getting paid?
@Burning River: I thought the premise was that Jose was too dumb and/or dyslexic to realize that Conseco was not actually the correct spelling of his own last name. Worked for me.
@jwaves2007: the kind that realizes there is no such thing as bad publicity. He comes out of this much higher up the totem pole.
"So Runs-with-my-money, if I'm not getting through to you,let's get one thing clear: I hate your fucking guts."