Kentucky Boasts Top Eater, Fulmer Fumes

It's been a disappointing year for Kentucky fans, but now they can cheer on the top-ranked collegiate eater in the country.

UK senior Christian "Muscox" McCarthy will be the No. 1 seed in the Collegiate Nationals Eating Championship next Saturday in San Diego, an event that will be carried on the CBS College Sports Network.

The eight competitors will consume plates of "college food," including cheeseburgers, hot dogs and french fries. The rules prohibit dunking, mashing or otherwise mutilating the food — hey, this is college, not middle school.

I'm pretty sure the hot dogs and hamburgers can already be described as "mutilated' long before they reach the competitor's plate. And sorry, mister unnamed story writer, but some of us prefer our buns dunked in keg beer. Come to think of it, why isn't there a beer drinking component in all of this? Nothing draws the line between professional life and college life like binge drinking.

No guts, no glory for these guys