New York Now Free From The Menace Of Buried Cloth
There have been a little more than 9,000 unsolved murders in New York City since 1985; many of the victims buried in cement, do doubt. But thank God we've solved this case: The Yankees have dug up a Red Sox jersey on Sunday that had been planted beneath their new stadium by a construction worker. And it only took a work crew five hours with a jackhammer to locate it. Also found by the Yankees beneath the cement were:
• Feelings of inadequacy.
• Derek Jeter diary with smiley faces dotting the I's.
• Thin layer of reptile skin shed by George Steinbrenner.
• Joba Chamberlain's Subway Sandwich Sub Club card.
• Alex Rodriguez's Brass Rail Strip Club card.
• Yankee Stadium frozen malt (caused broken jackhammer bit).
The construction worker, Gino Castignoli, a Red Sox fan, tipped off co-workers on Friday that he had buried the David Ortiz jersey as a prank, and to curse the Yankees. So Hank Stenbrenner did what any sane owner would do; madly start digging up a brand new park to find it. And now, this bit of news:
Trost said the Yankees had discussed possible criminal charges against Castignoli with the district attorney's office. "We will take appropriate action since fortunately we do know the name of the individual," he said. A spokesman for Bronx District Attorney Robert Johnson said Sunday he did not know whether any criminal charges might apply.
Thankfully all other crimes in the Bronx have been solved, so they have more than enough time for this.
Yankees Foil Jinx Attempt, Dig Up Buried Red Sox Jersey [USA Today] Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Corpse-Sniffing Dog [MSN]
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