Deadspin
The Pope turns 81 years old today — 10 years older than John McCain, and just three years older than Julio Franco — and he's celebrating it in Washington, D.C. with President Bush. (What better way?) He will be celebrating mass at the new Nationals Stadium, which means we're going to assume Elijah Dukes won't have access to the clubhouse that day. But the real fun is when The Pope visits Yankee Stadium later this week.
Pope Benedict is going to give mass at "The Cathedral," but, you know, this is Yankee Stadium, so ya'll better stay off the grass.
The arena is home of the baseball team the New York Yankees and the Vatican has been told that the Popemobile will not be allowed to touch the grass.
Instead, the white armour-plated vehicle will do a lap of honour around the edge of the stadium.
Should be a fun trip; all of New York is in a tizzy. Though we wonder if The Pope — the most deified entity on Earth — will be improve his shortstop defense.
Popemobile Must Stay Off Grass At Yankee Stadium [The Fanhouse]
The Audacity Of Pope [Animal New York]
Comments
I heard that Randy Levine is having the new stadium jackhammered apart because he heard some Catholic fan buried a St. Christopher's medal in the concrete....
I think he should just take the Popemobile onto the outfield and do donuts. He's the mfin' Pope! And I'm not even Catholic.
God shifts hateful gaze from Cowboys to Yankees...
The Yankees plan on chaining everyone in their seats and making them sing "God Bless America" before the Nicene Creed.
James Harrison's girlfriend has already purchased two front-row tickets and booked him and his child a first-class flight to DC. Just to, you know, avoid any confrontation.
The Pope doesn't stay off the grass for nobody!:
[www.thegrooveshack.com]
Instead, the white armour-plated vehicle will do a lap of honour around the edge of the stadium.
Everyone knows that a real lap of honor at Yankee stadium consists of a tear-soaked ride on the back of a NYC mounted policeman's horse.
The Pope is no True Yankee™.
@A Pimp Named DaveR: I heard it was actually one of those creepy babies they hide in King Cake...
Value over Replacement Pope?
Is holy water considered a performance enhancing substance?
It is in retaliation towards the Pope's views on Jeter and his kind.
Ah...Julio Franco age jokes.
You know who else is old? Greg Oden's face.
The good news is that he can't have less range than Giambi...
Fuck the Pope
/Jacobsoned
@Hit Bull Win Steak: +1 for the out loud chuckle at work
Starting lineups will be read in Latin, and special guest of the Pope, Rick Astley, will sing Amazing Grace during the 7th inning stretch on Wednesday.
POPE! The floor is not a hamper!
Would Yankee brass be cool with the Pope using Harlan Chamberlain's bad motor scooter for said "lap of honor?"
Alex Rodriguez is down with any human who can turn water into appletinis.
This visit will coincide with "Ten-Cent Sacramental Wine Night."
Hopefully he doesn't lose his wallet in Central Park again.
/old old old SNL jokes
@Civil Negligence:
It is in retaliation towards the Pope's views on Kapler, Youkilis and their kind.
/Fixed
@Secret Identity: Mannnnn!
"Value over Replacement Pope?" In my day we didn't have these crazy papal stats like VORP. Back in the day it was all about sins and crosses.
"... I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex..."
I buried a talis in the foundation at Nationals Park. Shhh.
I for one, am not in a tizzy. I just hope someone is sitting in his seat when he gets there.
@Lady Andrea: Marshawn Lynch has already volunteered to chauffeur.
Also in my day, comments had line breaks.
George Burns can walk on the grass whenever he wants.
The Pope-ah!...He's-ah so-ah nice-ah!
/State'd
No word yet on whether Sinead O'Connor has been contacted to sing the national anthem.
This is the worst story concerning New York and the Pope since Godfather III.
He will be celebrating mass at the new Nationals Stadium, which means we're going to assume Elijah Dukes won't have access to the clubhouse that day.
You Jesus' representative on Earth, dawg.
@buttons: Woops, that was @CIALIS COOPER.
So Billy Crystal gets to suit up and actually play for the Yankees on his birthday, but the Pope isn't even allowed on the grass?
Jews 1 - Catholics 0.
Nibbles, you suck.
Not to be outdone, Shea Stadium will be hosting Billy Joel this season. He won't be allowed to drive on the field either.
nibbles?
@UkraineNotWeak: I don't see why not, he has already driven over most of the lawns on Long Island.
Was trying to come up with a Ryan Zimmerman, Christ Killer joke, but realized he's as Jewish as David Eckstein.
Note to A-Rod and Jeter: Just be cool. Rent is expensive in New York, tell him you're just roommates and good friends.
Who gave the Emperor from Star Wars a bishop's hat?
Maybe he is the most deified entity on Earth, but he is no CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE>>>>>>THE POPE HAS NAPPY HAIR>>>>I GET IT NOW.
The most deified entity on Earth? What, did Craig Biggio run over a nun with his golf cart?
@Jews For Purple Jesus:
The Pope's visit to DC is timed to the release of Lastings Milledge and his new rap CD.
Pope bobblehead dolls will be given away in a special locker room ceremony to the first 5000 alter boys
\I'll see myself out
I'm not suprised the Pope would want to visit Yankee Stadium, considering the abortion of a team that plays in the city's other ballpark.
@SteveJeltzFan: Apparently someone buried a load of shit at the Nationals ballpark.
@Jews For Purple Jesus:
We've got Kapler, Youkilis, Ausmus, Schoeneweis, Kinsler, and the new Hebrew Hammer, Ryan Braun. Losing Shawn Green and Mike Lieberthal really did a number on us.
Will's a fan of the Pope because he's a former Cardinal.
/sprinting from room
The Pope blessed my SmarTrip card. Nice guy.
Pope's birthday is tomorrow.
/Captain Pedant
I hope some intrepid Yankees fans decide to heckle the Pope...
eh, pope, pope, pope, molest, pope, pope