Deadspin
Terrorist attack, or old Monty Python sketch? You be the judge: Several members of Australia's Olympic team were enjoying a batch of chocolate muffins at a Brisbane function last week, when some of the treats were found to have been sabotaged with paper clips. According to the Brisbane Times, a "major investigation" is underway.
Three workers from the Newmarket factory of muffin supplier Merlo Kitchen Catering Company have been stood down with pay following the incident, which occurred at a morning tea last week at the Queensland University of Technology. Brisbanetimes.com.au understands two people at the function bit into muffins containing paperclips. When the paperclips were discovered, the rest of the stock was checked and paperclips found in a further 13 muffins. No one sustained injuries.
I think it was John Adams who said that no free democracy can stand when its baked goods are compromised. The terrorists hate us for our muffins.
I now leave it to Superintendent Parrot of the Hygiene Squad. Godspeed.
Aussie Olympians In Muffin Poison Scare [Brisbane Times]
Olympic Muffin Scare! [Deuce Of Davenport]
Comments
Aren't baked goods normally tainted with laxatives and not office supplies?
None of this would have happened if they had been eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
if by "paper clips" you mean mescalin, then that happened to me once
Top o' the muffin to you!
Sounds like a job for the Mighty MJD.
Of course we left the paper clips in. If we took the paper clips out, they wouldn't be crunchy.
Complaining about paperclips? Whatta bunch of cupcakes
Now with a jagged metal Krusty O in every box!
@Its The Beer Talking: Top o' the muffin TO YOU!
More paperclips means more iron.
I can't believe they were only stood down! They should have been sacked on the spot.
"Oh, great. Giant muffin on the car. That really ups the resale value."
Tainted Muffins would be a great name for a terrible jam band.
Sounds like Jim Halpert took it a little too far this time.
But you can never find one when you need it.
Better than pubes I suppose.
Three workers from the Dunder Mifflin factory of muffin supplier Merlo Kitchen Catering Company have been stood down with pay following the incident /fixed
Is there a Staples on Drury Lane?
Those muffins are metallicious!
Oh how could one taint the morning tea! Is nothing sacred!
I'll bet Carl Monday is all over this.
This is awful. When I talk about the Olympics I don't want to talk about muffins and paper clips. I want to talk about power, love and dreams.
What would you like to do?
Taint muffin supply
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Taint Makes Jesus Cry
Tainted muffins>Coors Light
What next? Staples in Mini-Muffins?
Sometimes I feel I've got to (uh uh) run away I've got to (uh uh) get away From the paper clips you bake in the heart of my muffins
I hear the investigators are dead serious. They said they will leave no scone unturned.
Were they eating at Cunningham Muffins?
(If you can get on youtube, search for cunningham muffins.)
Nice pic.
It's huge, that guy's tainted muffin!
You know what the perpetrators should have put in the muffins? Some refreshing, ice-cold Coors Light.
Sorry. I just blacked out. What happened?
Seriously though, when an Aussie says "paper clip" it sounds just like "chocolate chip." I'm sure the muffin workers just misunderstood the recipe.
@CreamsicleOrange: Or your parents, for that matter.
@Suss--:
Even so, I bet they end up stumped.
That reminds me, Sir H of H, do you want your Aqua Teen DVDs back?
Tainted Muffin > Tainted Muff?
But, where does Tainted Love fit in?
Oh, in the Tainted Muff.
@Secret Identity: +1.
Can anyone get the number of the sign in the picture?
I wasn't really interested in the car, but throw in that 6 foot wide muffin? Sold.
John Adams would have just sat there and cried. According to HBO, the man cries more than Mark Messier
stood down with pay
Isn't that kinda like being on vacation?
Finally a post on Gawker where "tainted muffins" doesn't refer to Lindsay, Britney or Paris.
@Suss--: I hope they lox em up and throw away the key.
A tainted muffin usually requires a shot of pencillin or valtrax depending on how it is tainted.
@The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History: on vacation...with refreshing Coors Light.
Tainted Love > Tainted Muffins
Yeah, Suss, could you drop them off later? I told Snorg Tee girl she could come by to watch them. I think she's into me.
@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Get a Carfax Report! Otherwise the description may read, "Minor confectionery damage."
Olympic Sabatoge?!?! I'm thinking Tonya Harding is at the top of the suspect list right now...
@Suss--: You might want to seek full time employment. Just a thought.
A group of ragged men were heard outside the University wondering (in unison) "who could it be now?" Turns out they were just panhandling and weren't actually talking about the tainted muffins.
Great. When do we invade Office Depot?
Maybe the muffins were being baked for criminals in a minimum security prison with file-cabinet style locks?
"Why don't you eat up and we'll tell ya!"
@Suss--: Will they find them? We canoli hope.
@BigJimSlade: Muffin humor?
Tap the Rockies...
@goathair: Or a disease-infested porn star.
Which, I suppose, is redundant.
So, chocolate muffins are now part of an olympic diet regimen? Mangino is intrigued, and wishes to find a luge that will hold him.
"You might want to seek full time employment. Just a thought."
But the futon in my parents basement is SOOOOOO comfy! [hugs body pillow]
Muffin Stubble Girl is already on the case
@StuScott Booyahs: I was going to hash it out a bit more before posting, but got caught in a jam.
Tainted muffins > Tainted muffin tops
@StevePerryPsychOut: Awesome. +1 @Clare: To which version are you referring -- original, Shades Apart cover, or Marilyn Manson cover?
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