Deadspin
It's here! It's here! And remember, in case you've just become heartsick over the fact that you've glanced over the 17 week schedule and highlighted the appropriate games that may or may not pique your pigskinned interest, ESPN is doing a 2 HOUR special about the NFL's 2008 schedule. Yes, 2 HOURS of the NFL Live crew hemming, hawing, and deferring to Chris Mortensen's remote bunker to talk about it like well-paid professional sports analysts.
ESPN commenters, always game to be enthusiastically inarticulate about everything sports-related, are obviously losing their minds over this:
• ROSENBERRY337: I cant wait to see the (TIMES AND DATES) of when my SAINTS will whoop up on the scheduled opponents.
⁊ KE MILLER: about time!!! last year was on the 2nd of april!!! GO FINS!!! 8-8 this year take back the division next year!!!
⁊ PAYtonsWorthit: test
Here are some selected games that jumped out, plus pictorial accompaniment to better make your schedule-reading much more enjoyable.
Monday, September 8, Doubleheader:
Vikings at Packers/Broncos at Raiders
Look! It's the babies! Aaron Rodgers gets baptized (unless he gets hurt) and Jamarcus Russell gets to show the world he's the most fleet-footed fat guy in history.
Sunday, Nov. 2
New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts 8:15 p.m.
Will this be the game of the century ... again?
Thursday, Nov. 27, Thanksgiving, 8:15 p.m.
Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles
No, because THIS IS THE GAME OF THE CENTURY. The floppy-haired Buzzsaw brings it's bong-slurping quarterback to Philadelphia for a turkey-legged ass-thumping. This seems like the type of game that needs some sort of gentlemanly bet, like rival mayors. If the Eagles win, Will lets the Friday after Thanksgiving be Deadspin's first "Megan Fox Friday." If the Cardinals win, I get fired. Sounds fun.
(Ed. Note: Awesome! Another excuse to raid Daulerio's parents' home on Thanksgiving!)
Monday, Dec. 1
Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans 8:30 p.m. ESPN
Hey, the Texans are on Monday Night Football.
Sunday, Dec. 7
Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (Toronto) 1 p.m. CBS
Argonauts fans will be out in full force.
Monday, Dec. 22
Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears 8:30 p.m. ESPN
Projected game time temperature? Minus-72 degrees.
(PHOTO: Commapause)
Comments
Probably the only time we'll see the Vikings on top of the pile.
"Then on Dec. 7, the NFL will venture north to Canada when the Buffalo Bills host the Dolphins in Toronto at the Rogers Centre."
Henceforth known as the "CFL Death Blow" game. Somewhere, Rocket Ismail is crying.
Games that stick out for the Eagles:
9/15 at Dallas on a Monday night. Get yer popcorn ready.
11/9 vs. the Super Bowl champs at the Linc in a SUNDAYNIGHTISFOOTBALLNIGHT game
That's five prime-time games for the Browns, ladies and gentleman. Derek Anderson had better be fucking ready to go.
Sunday, Dec. 7
Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (Toronto)
Hey Boof-ah-low, we are going to steel your girl-friend...
Also, way to go NFL for unnecessarily robbing New Orleans of another home game this year.
Chris Mortenson's bunker is next to Dick Cheney's, right?
I think we ought to use this occasion to guess when Pac-Man Jones'll get tossed out of the league again. My bet's on Week 2!
we didnt want to be on your stupid monday night football anyways.
How many times can Gawker fire one employee?
Patriots get the Chiefs, Jets, Dolphins, Bye then the 49ers
awesome
@VTBen: Don't you mean "getyappcrnredy24"? /stupid WWL commenter names
Projected game time temperature? -72 degrees.
You forgot to add in the wind chill.
As a Jet fan, I'm pissed off that near the end of the season the Jets play in San Francisco one Sunday, come home and play Buffalo the next Sunday and then go back out to Seattle the following Sunday to play the Seahawks. NFL, just have them play SF and Seattle on consecutive weekends so that they can stay out on the west coast for the week. Now, they have to go across country and back twice in two weeks near the end of the season.
@Gourmet Spud:
Take 'em. Bills fans don't care anyways.
Monday, Dec. 22
Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears 8:30 p.m. ESPN
So does this mean Madden will have to result to orally felating Urlacher? The Sex Cannon?
Are you ready for some over exposure! A Tuesday afternoon circle-jerk. Now we have Chris Carter, with Trey and Jaws, and I'm sure Boomer will be there. Probably some clips of Jessica Simpson. HOLY SHIT the Texans got a monday night game! Against , the only team they have a winning record, the Jags.
Both of our Pittsburgh matchups are prime-time games, too. We'd better win at LEAST one of those.
@Carlton_Whitfield: Um, is anyone else's "enter" key apparently worthless post-Coors Light takeover?
I'm surprised every NFC East divisional game isn't on prime time this year.
Although I suppose they'll find a way....
@The KB: As a Miami Dolphin fan, please tell me that place is indoors...I can't imagine we'll play well in the Canadian snow...
Still confused as to why Denver vs. Oakland gets to be a Monday night game unless there is a planned deathmatch between the Cryptkeeper and Shanahan.
/Broncos fan
And yet again, the Steelers get screwed with an early BYE week. Thank god we're down to only two MNF games instead of the usual three, less Kornheiser / guest appearances to ruin the games.
@UkraineNotWeak:
*insert snarky comment about the Jets not playing meaningful games in December anyways*
@SlickBomb: Trick question. He's not back in the league yet, and it may stay that way for awhile, especially if he keeps making it rain at parties.
I probably should find my way home for Thanksgiving this year. And to Candlestick in Week 6.
Well, if the Pats are undefeated after their matchup with the Steelers in week 13, they play the Raiders, Cards and Bills, so we get to have another year of "19-0" discussion. FUUUUUUCK.
Sweet the Eagles play on Thanksgiving! Fuck and Yes.
Although if this game is only broadcast on the NFL Network... well then fuck it I'll just ditch my family and head to a bar.
Test!
@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus:
Jesus, who else are they playing? The Gophers?!
I'm surprised my Favre-less Packers still get 4 prime time appearances though.....who are they going to fellate?
No matter what game is on in the NFL this year, be sure to enjoy that game while drinking a cold Coors Light ® in the new wide-mouth can!
...holy shit... where did that come from? Sorry, guys.
So which night is football night in America again? I forgot, they barely advertised the shit out of it last year.
The Jets recieve 8 bye weeks. They still somehow don't reach .500.
I realize that the NFL is the MOST IMPORTANT SPORT EVER (because of the gambling addicts of course) but seriously, two hours dedicated to scheduling? In April? On ESPN? Um, no thanks.
It's nice to see that the Patriots have been given the league's 32nd-ranked schedule. God knows after last season they could use the help.
Even if the Pats draft Daniel, Nancy and Chris Benoit in a few weeks, they should still be at least 7-1 leading up to the Colts game.
@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich:
"The Rogers Center is noted for being the first stadium to have a fully-retractable motorized roof, as well as for the 348-room hotel attached to it, with 70 rooms overlooking the field."
Not only is it indoors, but there's also a complimentary breakfast buffet. Insert Parcells muffin-top joke here.
Titans got a sweet schedule, including playing on thanksgiving day!
Where is the Patriots vs Duke football game to complete this awesome schedule?
Patriots have two spots where they have back to back trips to the West coast (weeks 5 and 6 and 14 and 15)? Really?
I remember my first "turkey-legged ass thumping" wait...that didnt come out right
What great marketing by the NFL. Really. Yesterday I received two NFL-related merch flyers in the mail.(One for Draft Day gear and one from the Danbury Mint.) And yesterday, who cared about those purchases? Watched both the Pens and the Pirates win.
But today? Today with the new schedule out? I care.
@Gourmet Spud:
Sounds like the Bills are going to get two bye weeks.
@UkraineNotWeak: I struggle to see the significance since they'll be out of the playoff race by October?
@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Secondary strength > retard strength
From the Department of Overblown "News" Items.
Titans-Lions as the early game on Thanksgiving? Wow, guess we'll be eating dinner early this year.
Week 1 vs. Redskins - Super Bowl Champs begin title defense
Week 2 @ Rams - Jeremy Shockey drops 3 passes, Giants fans remember that he is in fact still a douchebag
Week 5 vs. Seahawks - Eli throws 4 picks, crowd boos, NY Media calls for Jared Lorenzen.
And so on...
Phan club party in Toronto? Anybody? Anybody? Ah fuck it, I'm not going either.
@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: Of course it's indoors silly, otherwise the polar bears would wreck the turf.
How nice of the NFL to show a complete list of the games I won't be able to watch.
[www.nfl.com]
/fucking comcast
Apparently 49ers/Cardinals was such a success on Monday night last year that they just had to do it again.
Wait, the Bills get to host another Monday night game where they get my hopes up and then shit away the game?
Oh joy!