Deadspin
Swoopy-haired USA Today writer Michael Hiestand has a mini-profile of everyone's favorite TV sports princess, Erin Andrews, which attempts to tactfully explain her internet popularity without sounding sleazy or sexist. He succeeds (mostly), and serves up this McDonald's-friendly description:
The online idolatry of her — not seen since Anna Kournikova's cyberspace heyday — runs along the lines of Wayne and Garth, from Wayne's World, saying if she "were a president, she'd be Babe-braham Lincoln."
Yes. Nailed it.
What's even more notable is Andrews own admission that Kirk Herbstreit has a "Timberlake-like" following with college kids. She even says that while she was a spritely co-ed and wannabe sports reporter at the University of Florida, she got a little overwhelmed in the presence of Herbstreit's seductive aura: "My camera didn't work the first time I got a photo with Kirk Herbstreit and, oh my gosh, I'm freaking out..."
All should heretofore bow to the panty-dropping power of Kirk Herbstreit. He's a golden god in a gray-tinted world full of Fowlers and Corsos.
YouTube Clips Can't Tell The Story Of Erin Andrews [USA Today]
Comments
Ooh, ooh, I know what I want for my birthday now...
kirk herbstreit: keeping college town abortion doctors gainfully employed since 1986
Future mother of my children, dude.
/had to be done.
Swallow, damn you!
I wear the thong for Kirk, the granny panties for Lee, and the Dominatrix for Chris.
It's true. Kirk Herbstreit is consitently #1 on Fraternity Surveys for "Dream Guy In Front Of Me During Elephant Walk."
If by tracking you mean stalking, you are correct.
Swoopy-haired USA Today writer Michael Hiestand...
Daulerio : Hiestand :: Imus : Rutgers Women's Basketball Team
When asked for comment, Bruce Pearl said, "Schwing!"
@Secret Identity: A dual party with Martin Lawrence?
SCHWING!
Nailed it
Not yet, unfortunately. But give it time
@the earl of weaver:
Goddamnit.
Yes, coach.
She only wanted Kirk because she hadn't met me yet.
I for one can't wait til she becomes irrelevant, and does the comeback Playboy spread.
I think I want to have a threesome with Erin Andrews and Kirk Herbstreit.
Time to rename my old 75 Dodge Conversion van with the shag in the back "Kirk Herbstreit".
When I met Herbie I didnt see an aura. I did get a weak limp wristed handshake though.
I, too, often have that look on my face when Kelvin Sampson speaks.
Now we know to whom all of those Kelvin Sampson phone calls were placed...
What, he couldn't come up with a Weird Science reference?
I bet Erin totally felt like the Samantha Baker to Kirk's Jake Ryan.
@crazyjoedavola: I'd rather have one now, not after the best has come and gone.
Kelvin totally texted her right after this photo.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns brought to you by Diebold: You mean, "yes, unemployable coach".
@Secret Identity: I got you something for your birthday. But you better find it before the Wikipedia trolls erase my edit
[en.wikipedia.org]
She has black fingernails. I'll be dipped in cat shit if there isn't leather beneath the June Cleaver green sweater.
that is scary
@Lady Andrea:
me too!
uh. i mean, uh... um.
@ltwinslow: there's no shame in it. Kirk is a handsome fellow.
Remember when Chuck Berry used to take video of chicks pissing in his restaurant? That is pretty gross but still, I see what he was trying to do.
What I'm trying to say here people, is that I would love to see this broad with all of her clothes off. CB, if you're reading this, call me.
no love for Trey Wingo, eh Erin?
He farted.
@Weed Against Speed: Methinks you're mixing up your John Hughes references.
@ltwinslow: Still cranky over 2002, eh Winslow?
Is he trying to look down her shirt? If so, +1 coach.
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: Well, that was fast.
Erin, I know you are going to read this, I just want to say that next time you're in Columbia, dinner's on the head ball coach.
/dick joke
@Burning River:
Future filer of a restraining order against me, dude.
/had to be done.
Fixed
@Doyle McPoyle: Damn. Wiki trolls are getting good
Well isn't that speeeeecial.
@RachelRayIsTheDevil: Also the black fingernails. Approved.
@Lady Andrea: I'm listening....
"Ever see a real man's totem pole, Erin?"
@Secret Identity: Wait a sec... I thought it was KC's birthday.
what a coincidence!!
@Carlton_Whitfield: Nope. I obviously failed in my attempt at humor. I was making fun of his aged references while using one of my own.
/shits pants
I'm telling you, my cell phone was cloned, dammit! Didn't you ever see Scream ?
@Weed Against Speed: Ah. Understood. I'm a little slow in this post-lunch haze.
I am becoming increasingly alarmed by her wardrobe. It's a Cosby sweater! This photo, along with the last featuring her cankles , has her one strike short of being removed from my jerk file.
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: wait... is the Martin Lawrence listing for today's birthdays the gift? or an awesome coincidence?
@CreamsicleOrange: The file cabinet visual was too much for me. I sharted.
oh to really be Herbie's wingman and get this sloppy seconds
So, this is all ironic swooning, right? Because she's not even close to being hot, even when you can't see her legs.
@Carlton_Whitfield: No, it was a weak effort on my part.
@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: awesome coincidence. I added Secret Identity, Deadspin Commenter to the list of April 16th births
@RachelRayIsTheDevil: The contents would probably alarm you more than the actual cabinet. Does Mona from Who's the Boss mean anything to you?
@The Count of Monte Fisto:
No, no, Erin Andrews is the one in the green sweater. The other one is actually a dude.
3 schwings for erin andrews
I think she's surpassed U2 in the "Overrated" hierarchy.
Erin Andrews: Great top, great bottom, likes sports.
(That USA Today writer get paid per word? Hope so for his sake)
@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface:
I used to have a Page-A-Day calendar that had four famous birthdays listed for each date.
April 16th? Charlie Chaplin, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Selena and, yes, Martin Lawrence.
So, would this be the appropriate time to post this piece of video from 1991?
+ Watch video
If Rachel Nichols were president we'd find out how Iraq was feeling.
I thought the article needed more pictures.
She can eat crackers in my bed, anytime.
She's a fox. In French she would be called "la renarde" and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.