Deadspin
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Eastern Conference today, starting with the series between the Boston Celtics and the Atlanta Hawks, which begins Sunday.
Writing a preview for this matchup is nearly impossible, because it sort of presumes that the Hawks have a good enough chance to justify expending the necessary mental energy. And they don't. But of course nothing short of a sturdy wooden chair and several rolls of duct tape will keep me from talking about it.
The season series: Boston won it in a 3-0 sweep.
Bad news for the Hawks: The dirty birds lost all three games by double digits.
Good news for the Hawks: After losing the first game by 23 points, they lost the last two by only 10 points each. That's progress. Sort of.
Reality check: In the teams' last meeting on April 12, it was Atlanta's starters versus Boston's reserves during the fourth quarter. Note that Atlanta desperately needed a win to clinch their first playoff berth in almost a decade. And they still lost by 10. As bad signs go, that ranks somewhere between waking up next to a bloody horse's head and finding out that Soylent green is people.
Celtics player(s) to watch: Kevin Garnett put the Hawks in his hip pocket this season. In the first game, KG had 27 points, 19 rebounds, 6 assists, and 2 blocked shots. In the second game, he scored 20 points, snatched 16 boards and stole the ball twice. In the third and final game, Garnett had went off for 24, 6, and 4 despite sitting out the entire fourth quarter. So I think it's safe to say Atlanta doesn't have an answer for KG, unless it involves a Celtic Pride-style kidnapping.
Hawks player(s) to keep an eye on: He averaged only 15 PPG on 31 percent shooting against the Celtics, but Joe Johnson is Atlanta's captain and best player. He's going to go down, but he'll go down shooting. Also, Mike Bibby has a lot more playoff experience than Rajon Rondo, who has none. Of course, my grandpa has a lot more life experience than I do, but I'm pretty sure I could beat him in a game of one-on-one.
Key(s) to the series: Boston's best-in-the-league defense. It should smother the Hawks like a plastic grocery bag on a baby's head. (Warning: Do not put a plastic bag on your baby's head; it may cause skin irritation.) The Celtics could probably score 95 PPG and win this series. Actually, make that 90 PPG, since Atlanta never scored more than 89 points against Boston this season.
Prediction: Unless something unthinkable (like a KG's right leg falls off) or bizarre (like both of KG's legs fall off) happens, the Celtics are going to win this one 4-0, where the first two games will be blowouts, the third game will be close all the way, and the fourth game will be close until the Celtics pull away in the fourth quarter.
Comments
commence Operation Flubber!
Hopefully the NBA will give the Hawks those small participation trophies because, you know, aren't we all winners?
Isaiah just got fiyahed
I AIN'T WATCHIN UNLESS WELKAHHHH IS PLAYING POINT GAHHHHDD!!!
Is that a promotional photo from the latest Steven Seagal film?
I think you should hold off on calling this series until we see whether Simmons writes an article comparing this Celtics team to the Russell dynasty....
/still bitter
but getyappcrnredy24 said the hawks would take it to 7
Racists over the racists.
Wait? What?
@obeymydog: Shit, I gotta call Vegas!
After losing the first game by 23 points, they lost the last two by only 10 points each. That's progress. Sort of.
The last one being against Boston's bench.
From the Featured Comment of the day, in case you've forgotten:
"I'm confident the Hawks have what it takes to beat the Celtics, not a sweep, but maybe in seven."
--getyappcrnredy24
Jesus Tapdancin' Christ.
Sorry, Atlanta's tradition of going down strong ended when the Gold Club got bulldozed. The Birds are totally hosed here.
The only highlight will be seeing Woodson with a bald head. He said he'd shave it if they made the playoffs. Its going to be a good look when he's in the unemployment line after the series.
@obeymydog: Billy Knight should stop posting at work.
The guy on the right appears to be one wild and crazy guy.
I'm really looking forward to when Boston loses to Detroit. PS: I hate you Bill Simmons.
@Schluby: The Ottawa Senators are interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
@Weed Against Speed: two swinging foxes have the hots-on for us!!
finding out that Soylent green is people.
Spoiler Alert!!!!!
Celts in 3.
They'll outscore the Hawks by 90 points the first three games, so they won't even need to play the fourth.
@FEAST: Please don't hate Boston because of Simmons. Hate us because we're pretentious, mean, elitist, ungracious winners.
But Simmons is a douche. We're assholes, not douchebags. Big difference.
I didn't think they had byes in the NBA playoffs.
I wouldnt have been any more surprised if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet.
Please don't hate Boston because of Simmons. Hate us because we're pretentious, mean, elitist, ungracious winners.
But Simmons is a douche. We're assholes, not douchebags. Big difference.
no bye week?
Damn, Louis CK looks pissed.
@icanthelpitimfromboston:
My hate for everything-boston spawns from 'red sox nation' and that nonsense. I hate Bill Simmons because he has a close pin permanently fixed to his nose, and his whiney-nasally-annoying voice makes my ears bleed profusely. NOT COOL DUDE, seriously get that fixed, its weird. Oh ya, and that one time he wrote that Keven Durant will be better than Greg Oden because he saw them both walk down a hall.
@StuScott Booyahs: Rondo, son.
+ Watch video
How did I live before youtube?
@FEAST: As a citizen of Boston Bill Simmons offends me.
@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: scal was getting some action (and alot of cheers everytime he touched it) last night. 2 3's, 6 rebounds and 3 assists!
not sure how much action he'll see in the playoffs.
@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: The Scal mix is prominently featured in my YouTube favorites, good looks. Although the soundtrack should definitely feature Miracle Johan, arguably the third or fourth best ginger writing Celtics-inspired hip-hop that features samples of Tommy Heinsohn.
Shtop looking at me, Shcalabrine!
KG : Atlanta :: Sherman : Atlanta
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?