As long as there's wrecks and jugs, I can do without the Spinal Tap reference.

@Gourmet Spud: But wouldn't wrecks, jugs, and Spinal Tap references just take the whole thing to 11?

A 2% success rate would get most people fired from their jobs. Not Danica though, she gets a pat on the back and a tip of the cap.

So now she's a borderline-attractive-at-best chick who won one race?

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: And an envious "how is she so successful" from Dubya.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado:

A 2% success rate doesn't stop Professor Farnsworth, why should it stop Danica?

@Slothrop: Are you counting bonus points for throwing behind Manny?

@Chief Wahoo: I would call her better than borderline attractive. But that's just me.

booze-crazed horndogs...so many options to expand on that

@TattooedMess(iah): He's gonna try to learninate her strategeries to accomplishinating her mission.

wonder if she had a slumpbuster after race 49

@Chief Wahoo:

was that successful? He neither hit nor intimidated Manny. I award him no points, and may god have mercy on his soul.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: The accuracy of that sentence almost made me ask "and how are you doing this morning, mr. president?".

@J-No: Not trying to be mean or anything, she just doesn't make me happy in my pants.

@Slothrop: At this point any pitch a Yankee throws to Manny that stays in the park is a victory.

@Herbies_Wingman:

we prefer the term "Driver's Aide."

@Chief Wahoo:

The shot Manny had last night landed in the Charles.

Also, can someone answer the phone at Man City? That's super annoying.

@Chief Wahoo: I was just surprised. I think she is a good looking girl. Not super hot, but nice looking. Kinda Sandra Bullock-hot.

@TattooedMess(iah): I don't know, I'm channeling the prez with such accuracy that maybe I should stay away from these delicious pretzels for a while.

semi-thread jack

Big Hurt released by Toronto. That won't improve his mood, but at least greater Toronto's long pillow-fighting nightmares are finally over.

/semi-thread jack

@Chief Wahoo: She's in shape and doesn't have a bad body, but her face seems to change from "mildly attractive" to "get me a paper bag" depending on the lighting.

@Slothrop:

WOW! GREAT move by the Jays. Despite being a good guy, he had been a big hole in the middle of that line-up since he got there, and this gets them out of a big option year (he needed a minimum number of at-bats to exercise it).

Get ready for the Adam Lind era!

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: And Segways.

@J-No: I see her as more "County Fair Hot", which is better than "Carnival Hot" or "Church Fair Hot" but not as good as "Circus Hot".

I would certainly take Danica out for a spin.

@peytonloveskenny: First time I see that picture... All I can say is that the Secret Service has their work cut out for them.

Winning the race in Japan? Good god, she is going to make a mint in Honda/Acura and Suntory endorsements. What middle-aged Japanese male wouldn't want to bed her?

Was Blit Meat at the Blindianapolis 500?

I'd celebrate in her victory lane

Next thing you guys are going to tell me is that humans look best when they're all made up to be professionally photographed.

C'mon now.

@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: No, but Deadspin should buy a foal, name her/him Blit Meat, & groom the beast to run in the KY Derby in three years. 'Ey, it's no worse than Giacomo!

Thank God, now I can forget about IRL once and for all.