Danica Patrick, known to many sports fans as "the woman who is competent enough to be taken seriously and attractive enough to be overrated," finally won a race this weekend. Some have been mocking the achievement, but we dunno, we think it's impressive. It's hard to win races, you know?

Sure, Patrick is overhyped because she's a woman, but ... so? It seems odd for people to mock her achievements when, you know, they don't really know anything about IndyCar racing; suddenly, everyone thinks they're experts in something when they probably couldn't name another rider in the circuit.

It reminded us of that racer who said Danica Patrick had an unfair advantage because she was smaller, allowing her car to move quicker. This struck us as quite rich. We have finally found one aspect of sport in which a woman might have a physical advantage over a man ... and people are claiming that it's unfair. Yeah, it's really unfair that men are so much larger than women and can therefore play linebacker.

Most Meaningless Sports Triumphs [The Angry T]

4:45 PM on Mon Apr 21 2008
By Leitch
7,133 views
61 comments

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Gourmet Spud at 05:01 PM on 04/21/08
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Well, I guess we have to drop the stereotype about women being bad drivers now.

Sorry, Asians.
7th Floor King Dingaling at 05:01 PM on 04/21/08
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Yea, but I bet she still can't parallel park
Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner at 05:01 PM on 04/21/08
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I'm sorry, but I'm supposed to take seriously a guy who compared this to pro wrestling? I think I know what he' angry about, my guess is it's an lowercase t.
André Roussimoff at 05:02 PM on 04/21/08
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The guy in sunglasses staring at Danica's ass in the background has an absolutely terrific shit-eating grin.
Hit Bull Win Steak at 05:02 PM on 04/21/08
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gratuitous racing-themed sexual innuendo in 3....2....1
The Teufel Shuffle at 05:02 PM on 04/21/08
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The fuck is a "triump"? Is that what Marty Feldman had?
Weed Against Speed at 05:03 PM on 04/21/08
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Methinks she has to go pee.
MoBot at 05:03 PM on 04/21/08
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Mmmmmmyes.
7th Floor King Dingaling at 05:03 PM on 04/21/08
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@André Roussimoff: Is that Martin Lawrence?
TheLou-Do at 05:03 PM on 04/21/08
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@Gourmet Spud: Ironic, seeing as the race was in Japan.
Jefferson Short Bus at 05:03 PM on 04/21/08
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How many times did she have to ask for directions during the race?

Also: yes.
HazelMaesLandingStrip at 05:04 PM on 04/21/08
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@Hit Bull Win Steak: I'd let her throttle my engine anyday....

That work?
1980 David Bowie From... at 05:04 PM on 04/21/08
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It's hard to top the accomplishment of starring in your own GoDaddy Super Bowl commercial, but by gum, she did it.
In Flagrante Delicto at 05:04 PM on 04/21/08
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The win almost didn't happen when she spent the last lap preparing for victory lane by applying mascara in the rearview mirror.
TheStarterWife at 05:04 PM on 04/21/08
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Great. Even more fodder for the ESPN Fashion channel.
MattinglysSideburns at 05:04 PM on 04/21/08
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@Weed Against Speed: And like Jeff Gordon, she will do so sitting down.
Jews For Purple Jesus at 05:09 PM on 04/21/08
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"That racer" I believe is Robby Gordon, and that douchebag now has exactly one less racing win than Danica during the span of her entire career.
Weed Against Speed at 05:09 PM on 04/21/08
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"DEY TOOK OUR JERBS!!"
dont-forget-where-you-... at 05:11 PM on 04/21/08
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Oh no, the letter...Newman...it's got exclamation points all over it!
Juancho at 05:11 PM on 04/21/08
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@7th Floor King Dingaling: She does bear a passing resemblance to Meadow Soprano.
Yinka Double Dare at 05:12 PM on 04/21/08
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@The Teufel Shuffle: I think it's the Wal-Mart knockoff of the Trump branded stuff.
EditorOfTheDailyFaberian at 05:12 PM on 04/21/08
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@HazelMaesLandingStrip: We were looking for the incorporation of the phrase "lube job."
Triple B at 05:13 PM on 04/21/08
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@Jefferson Short Bus: Ya, buddy of mine used to race with her around the age of 16 ... he tried, but apparently she has this crazy-ass father (who was banned from many races) who kept looking at them (including her sister) in the hot tub from his hotel room.
jwaves2007 at 05:15 PM on 04/21/08
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Will they are called drivers, not riders. But it would be kinda cool to have his and her race teams with women reading the maps from the passenger seat. oh and hell ya.
Sucko-T at 05:15 PM on 04/21/08
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Looks like the guy behind her was happy she won.
Juancho at 05:16 PM on 04/21/08
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@Sucko-T: Well, it was in Japan...
Silky John-STON! at 05:17 PM on 04/21/08
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Were her legs mangled in some sort of accident just prior to that picture?
OchentaYcinco at 05:17 PM on 04/21/08
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@Triple B: He's like a human restrictor plate.

And this concludes "things I can reference about auto racing."
Triple B at 05:19 PM on 04/21/08
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Maybe its the dress, but I may have to nominate her for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Barry Lutz at 05:20 PM on 04/21/08
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She's not overhyped because she is a woman. She is overhyped because she's a hot woman. Sarah Fisher wondered what all the fuss was about until yesterfay.
Juancho at 05:20 PM on 04/21/08
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@Triple B: Wasn't she a wild child with booze and such right around when she turned pro? Like, almost bad enough that she was dropped altogether?
Bring Me The Head of... at 05:20 PM on 04/21/08
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@Hit Bull Win Steak: I'd let HER lick my balls.*

*May not have any discernible double entendre.
Triple B at 05:22 PM on 04/21/08
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@Juancho: Strict dad = wild child ... at least that I've seen. My buddy wasn't much different (not strict dad though) ... partly the reason we're friends.
Bring Me The Head of... at 05:23 PM on 04/21/08
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@Sucko-T: There was a ghost...that was...ectoplasm!
Juancho at 05:24 PM on 04/21/08
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[www.sarahfisher.com]

@Barry Lutz: And it's not like Sarah Fisher is exactly bad-looking.
dont-forget-where-you-... at 05:25 PM on 04/21/08
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@Sucko-T:
Santonio! Get in the shower!
Triple B at 05:25 PM on 04/21/08
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@Juancho: Ya, but I think Fisher was built like a linebacker
Steve Trachsel, Ace at 05:26 PM on 04/21/08
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OK.

1. Not that attractive, maybe compared to Sarah Fisher, but she is a solid "meh"

2. Not that good of a driver (yet). One win with the equipment she has is pitiful.

3. Other single win drivers. Graham Rahal (in 2 races), Billy Boat, John Paul Jr.
Kccal at 05:27 PM on 04/21/08
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@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: To be fair, we all know Chyna beating Jeff Jarett in a Good Housecleaning Match did set the bar in terms of great female accomplishments.
Dieter at 05:30 PM on 04/21/08
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@Jews For Purple Jesus: Actually, Robby Gordon won two CART races, plus many wins in other series, including NASCAR.

@Leitch: Yes, a difference of 80, 100, or 120 lbs. of driver can create a huge advantage. Like every other form of racing, Indycar now corrects for that advantage by forcing Danica's team and any other team with a small driver to add weight.

/dick joke
Weed Against Speed at 05:31 PM on 04/21/08
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Billie Jeane King is incredibly proud of Danica's accomplishments and claims that she could show how proud of her she is with one fist tied behind her back.
Dieter at 05:35 PM on 04/21/08
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@Dieter: Meant to include there that an Indycar only weighs 1500 pounds. They use special materials to save fractions of an ounce here and there. It's silly to think saving over 50 lbs. of driver weight does not create and advantage. Again, because the IRL corrected this glaring hole in their rules, Danica won without such an advantage.

/another dick joke
Juancho at 05:35 PM on 04/21/08
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@Weed Against Speed: I'd much rather think of Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy, thankewverymuch.
HappyFeltonsGloryHole at 05:36 PM on 04/21/08
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Next thing you know they think they will be able to run for President of the USA!!!!LOL LOL
Barry Lutz at 05:39 PM on 04/21/08
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@Juancho: Yikes, glad I don't live wherever you live.
Carson at 05:40 PM on 04/21/08
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I'm guessing the Angry T drives a Geo Metro.
Poorly.
Secret Identity at 05:49 PM on 04/21/08
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Rubbin' is racin'!
BradTheSlacker at 05:52 PM on 04/21/08
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@Dieter: Yeah, but the weight rule the IRL uses is half-assed. She still ends up with a weight advantage, especially against Paul Tracy sized drivers
RachelRayIsTheDevil at 05:58 PM on 04/21/08
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@Sucko-T: +137 ! Almost spit out my Froot Loops.
Dieter at 06:27 PM on 04/21/08
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@BradTheSlacker: Very good point.
thefuseproject at 06:29 PM on 04/21/08
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There's a awful lot of deep thinking going on around this subject when a simple, "I'd show her my fuel injector" is all that's needed.
FiddlingWhileJimRomeBu... at 06:29 PM on 04/21/08
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@BradTheSlacker: The rule is the rule. She runs within the rules...if it were such a great advantage, the other teams would put some of the fat-assed male drives on the SlimFast plan. I don't know the exact wording of the new IRL rule, but considering that there wasn't a rule at all, then the IRL instituted one, I'll trust that they did a decent job of it.

Good call Dieter.
Sucko-T at 06:45 PM on 04/21/08
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I bet only a few other drivers could even fit in her cockpit. This explains why the bigger guys always finish in the rear.
Since85 at 07:08 PM on 04/21/08
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Satin.

*drools*
Laser Guided at 07:39 PM on 04/21/08
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I saw her in the 2005 indy 500 where she led a few laps late and almost won. equipment or no, she can race with the boys, no doubt about it.

/should could also race with MY boys, eh eh?
middlejester at 07:42 PM on 04/21/08
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@BradTheSlacker:

...bearing in mind, of course, that at 190 lbs, Paul Tracy is an absolute fat ass by any open wheel racing standard.
TheTick at 09:03 PM on 04/21/08
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They add ballast to her car now to at least partially make up for the fact that Paul Tracy is a fatass (and he can remove some weight from his car, which means Tracy can no longer keep a stash of crullers under his seat for those longer races).
$Image of josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris\'s sack-dance for you$ josereyes.theroof... at 08:23 AM on 04/22/08
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@Sucko-T: Awesome.

Anyway, while Ms Patrick may now be a winner, & fairly cute, a, she'll always be from B-town, & b, she'll never be better than the second Danica in my memory. (The first? Danica [last name redacted], the drugs-dealing Peer Helper from West Allis Central High School, Class of '96 or '97.)
FriendsLikeJimRome at 08:59 AM on 04/22/08
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Oddly, this is the first race Danica has competed in without a cell phone.
G.G. at 09:26 AM on 04/22/08
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Deputy Kimball cleans up nice.
Grib at 01:45 PM on 04/22/08
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This is a big thing and all because she's female and she's been in the league for some years without winning, so that's the news that every outlet is running with, but the thing to remember is that it is a hell of a thing to win an IRL race, it's astoundingly difficult. A lot, maybe most, drivers go their whole careers without a win. She's a hugely marketable commodity within the sport because of her sex and looks, but she was always a legit competitor. She isn't one of the super drivers like Tony Kanaan, Dario Franchitti or Helio Castroneves, but she's good enough to justify her ride year after year, so that's a pretty damn high level of talent. Winning a race is a) a huge weight off her shoulders, I'm sure. I kind of picked up on that listening to her when she dropped into the booth at the Long Beach GP afterwards, but b) it's a huge thing for her "brand," which means she'll get more attention and sponsor support, which is how the business of race teams are run. It means job security in a sport in which you really have very little. It's a huge thing in a driver's life.
Anyway, good for her.