Deadspin
The Chicago Cubs have the second best record in baseball, are a half game up in first place in the National League Central and already are starting to gather those "they're gonna do it this time" mumbles around baseball. (How cute!) But allowing them to hang out in the dugout with Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover lady Marisa Miller — after she threw out the first pitch over the weekend — is tempting fate.
But hey. Kerry Wood. Watch that hand, buddy. And yeah: Take THAT, Prior.
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And right on cue, Ronny Cedeno hits a grand slam and the Cubs are about to win their 5th straight.
But look out, the Cardinals have a stranglehold on 2nd place!
Why hellooo there Maris-
OW MY ELBOW
You wish, Kerry.
i never wanted to be a piece of green pleather more in my life.
This could possibly work out better than when they hung Ron Santo's jersey in the dugout during the 2003 playoffs.
Yeah, nothing says "eventual championship" like first place in April.
Ted Lilly's got some major wood going there.
Possibly a better idea then hanging Ron Santo's jersey in dugout during '03 play-offs.
Someone wake up Ronnie Woo Woo!
Heh. Wood's got wood.
@CIALIS COOPER: Fuck you nibbles, and racist Cub fans.
Dude, dude, yes, righthander made of ceramic.
He's foreshadowing a hamstring pull in his next outing.
They dont call him Kerry Wood for nothing...
@notthequarterback: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006 Cubs.
Kerry Wood is covering his wood?
I'll go now.
What do I have to do to get to hang out with Marisa Miller?
Kerry Wood dislocated his shoulder posing for that picture.
there's Alou giving her the hotfoot...
Dude, dude, i'd sacrifice my left testicle to sleep with her, dude
Hey...Will:
Reverse jinxes don't actually exist.
Worst porno cover ever.
From watching the two games in Chicago, I gather the Mets went to DC directly from Philly and sent a replacement team onto Chicago. Didn't even bother to show up for either game.
@StevePerryPsychOut: I was at the game on Friday when she threw out the first pitch. I was not aware she would be there. When they announced her I almost spit out my beer. What a tremendous, welcome surprise.
I just wish the Cubs had a preferred insurance provider.
No, No and Ye...oooops, sorry, I'll clean that up.
maybe if I get to do her, maybe if I get to do her, YES PLEASE, maybe if I get to do her
It as Beavis says, just close your eyes and pretend its a hot chick.
/not really
HAHA Wood's got wood, check out the thigh grab.
@Flαmεtown: +1@MeanMachine: +1
@PeteJayhawk: I don't know, man. He's got a point. After all, the Cards DO have Kyle Lohse and Todd Wellemeyer in the rotation. They're a sleeping giant, I tell you!
Looks like Kerry wants to take her in the Fukudome.
As if I need more reason to hate the Cubs.
I've suffered a grrooin injury. G-g-grrooin injury.
+ Watch video
I haven't won jack shit ever either, does that mean Marisa is on her way over to hang out?
Chicks dig the... um... goat?
There hasn't been that nice of a piece of ass on the Cubs bench since Don Zimmer managed them in the late '80's.
Wait...what?
Isn't Kerry Wood's hand a little too close to the wangal region in this picture?
Ted Lilly looks like he should be doing my taxes, not chilling in a Cubs uniform with a swimsuit model.
DO NOT VIEW ANY PICTURES OF MARISSA MILLER'S BOYFRIEND WITH ANY SHARP OBJECTS, BLUNT OBJECTS OR FISTS NEARBY.
While Wood's wife might not be quite as hot, it is close, and he will be able to have a conversation with her while he spends the last 20 years of his life in traction.
Da Boobs
Dumber girls name: Marissa or Kerry? Discuss.
Immediately after this taking this picture Kerry Wood went on the DL with a groin sprain.
@McCroskey:
Three Cubs and a Little Lady?
Daniel Stern's got the answer: WARM ICE!
Aaaaaaand the Cardinals just lost in Milwaukee. Nice try, Mr. Leitch.
Ah, good ol' Ted Lilly. Nice seat choice, friend.
@notthequarterback: When Izzy came in, I said to the people with me, "That's it. We lose."
I wish I wasn't always right about that.
Ted Lilly has a very Wingo-esque look on his face...
@Carlton_Whitfield: Not your fault ... last night's 1-2-3 inning (a 1-2-3 inning from Izzy - wait...what??) pretty much made this inevitable.
The chronic masturbators always seem to wear hoodies.
/Carl Monday
Hmm, sign with the Cubs and meet Marissa Miller, or stay with Toronto and get my face caved in by John Gibbons?
No, No, YES, maybe, but with fear of causing his millionth surgery. Of course then I would get a set of steak knives.
Wow Kerry, at least wait til the gal leaves before you, uh, do your thing.
Yes, yes, no, yes.
Many cubs became bears that day...
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