Deadspin
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collected. So what's he gonna do? How does $18 million to stay the hell away from the team sound?
The New York Daily News reports this morning that Isiah will specifically not be allowed to talk to any players. Nice gig, if you can get it.
According to a team source, Thomas has been barred from having any contact with the team as part of his reassignment agreement with Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Such an agreement is critical for a new coach as he tries to reestablish a winning culture at Madison Square Garden and distance himself from the Thomas regime.
Thomas is responsible for acquiring every player on the current roster and the fear is that if he were allowed to have any contact, including telephone calls, he could either willingly or unwillingly undermine the incoming coach.
As The Legend Of Cecilio Guante points out, that makes Isiah a tremendously well-paid secretary (and coffee boy for Jim Dolan). Isiah is making $18 million to stay away from his employers. The man was a genius all along!
Isiah To Be Paid $18 Million To Fetch Coffee [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]
Comments
Well ain't that a bitch.
This doesn't change his job description at all.
"I don't talk to ABC 7, sunt!"
He also has no title or official duties. He could sit around at home in his underwear all day and update his web site.
Wait, that would make him a blogger. Albeit, a really-well-paid blogger.
So, getting paid ludicrous money to not interact with the team? Wasn't that his old job?
He gets $18 million for doing nothing? I feel bad for you, Knicks fans...that's like a kick in the sunt.
Bonus points if Dolan sexually harasses him.
Don't do anything, don't touch anything. Don't even fucking look at me.
Move Bitch, Get out the way.
Damn. I would do that job for $16 million.
Isiah getting paid for not working > Keith Van Horne getting paid for not playing
He's sharing a closet with Bob Pulford.
Multiple girls have done that to me, its called a restraining order.
He'll be doing less than me, and I work for the federal government!
Hello?
$18 million for doing nothing?
USA! USA! USA!
That's okay. Across town in Queens, Fred Wilpon and the Mets are paying Carlos Delgado $16 million to suck syphilitic donkey cock.
INVIZIBUL BOOBIE
So it's like a restraining order that pays you? Damn, I wish I knew about that when I was in court...
That has to hurt the ol' ego.
No way. If he really loves the team, Isaiah should turn the money down! NOTHING CAN KEEP THEM APART!
While this may seem excessive, I doubt there's a team in the NBA that wouldn't pony up at least $25 million to ensure that Isiah never comes in contact with the organization.
Especially now that he's lost the power to make staggeringly lopsided trades.
What's the over/under on him messing this whole thing up by texting Nate Robinson?
10 Days?
$18 million buys a lot of things that you can run into the ground...
So he can still silently play grab-ass?
@Dinger The Dinosaur: You cut me deep, Dinger, you cut me real deep.
Except for the dollar amount, doesn't Dubya have the same contract for the next nine months? He's not to touch anything for the remainder of his term and no one is to pay him any attention.
How's he going to coordinate Starbury's "interviews" with potential interns?
Knicks players have also been forbidden from reading comments by "haisi,ems'ti" on the team's messageboard.
It's hard to keep your feet dry when you're kicking in a skull.
Where is his silver tray? I'm ringing my bell!
@Camp Tiger Claw: Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts.
Sadly, he will have to watch the parade down the Canyon of Heroes via closed circuit tv.
Thankfully, the agreement doesn't require Isiah to have "no contact" with the staff.
You know those Knick interns.
So does he even have to come in to the office? Basically, the man is living my dream of getting paid for not working, and I'm intensely jealous for it.
@Weed Against Speed: Why don't we just replace "hail of shrapnel" with "raspberry scones"?
I don't get 18M every time Marissa Miller takes out a restraining order on me!
Geez, my Dad's HMO made the cancer go away for like, $11,000.
Is this an example of where keeping it real goes right?
Greatest job ever!! Isaish Thomas is my new role model in life. Just keep failing at everything i try and people will not only keep giving you chances but will pay you millions after you fail.
@UkraineNotWeak:
At least Dubya gets to be on Deal or No Deal. Can we work that out for Zeke?
He is going to go to the studio with Axl to tweak some tracks on "Chinese Democracy". Nothin' serious, just gonna vibe.
I have to say I was sad when he was relieved as coach. I wanted him to stay coach forever.
@NDEddieMac:
Keep failing enough, you get to become President.
@Doyle McPoyle: No no, you're thinking of Jason Kidd.
It must've been Tuesday. Isiah was wearing his cornflower-blue tie.
Unfortunately, he wasn't given the $18 million in cash. Just shares in the CBA.
Meanwhile, the Lions just signed a 36-year, $400-billion contract extension with Matt Millen.
I need to re-think the whole work hard and get good grades speech that I've been giving my kid.
@UkraineNotWeak:
the article said nothing about Deal or No Deal appearances.
Isiah hasn't spoken to his players in months. This is more of a lateral move than a promotion.
Don't the Knicks feel like a perfect fit for Matt Millen's switch to basketball?
@And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_Trail_of_Cheez-Its:That is an excellent business strategy.
So, that means Dolan is paying 37 million dollars to former coaches.
Coincidentally, HBO now costs 6 grand a month on my new Cablevision bill. Hello FIOS!!!
I don't see what the problem is. Isiah could talk all he wants considering Zach Randolph's method of listening includes staring at the dancing white girls then chucking up errant 3s.
Update: Isiah's official title will be Executive Vice President of Popcorn Acquisitions and Sexual Harrasment
Seriously, can I get $18 million to not talk to my clients? Zeke needs to come out with some self-help books for small business owners. "How to ruin everything and get paid millions."
@Peter Cavan: No, then he'd have to sit in his mom's basement, and somehow I have a feeling he's not welcome in her house either.
@ArkansasFred: Hey, that's not true. If I wasn't about to take a long lunch, I'd argue about how much work all of us in the fed govt do.
But, not on Fridays, I don't usually come in Fridays. And, I was planning to wander around Union Station this afternoon, so that's out. But...
Can we officially dub it the Isiah Principle now?
Smarter in that "I've found a way to fail so badly that people will pay me to go away" manner.
Honestly, I think I have too much pride and self-respect to envy him in this case.
This is why I stopped being a Knicks fan...just awaiting the day for the BK Nets,
To be fair, twenty percent of that amount goes to Isiah's agent, Beelzebub Mephistopheles.
So now the Knicks are paying both Larry Brown and Isiah NOT to coach?
wow, now I can see why Cablevision runs so smoothly.
David Stern, please fix the lottery to let us get Derrick Rose.
So, which network is going to offer Isiah more money to come be an NBA Playoffs Finalist for the rest of the season? I'd say ESPN is the favorite, with the idea of putting Isiah and Bob Knight on some sort of Sportscenter Segment together.
Can he still have contact with the interns?
@NovakAintNoJokovic:
His mom just doesn't understand it's OK for a Black man to call her a bitch.
"Stupid...like a fox!"
@McCroskey: Isiah's official title will be Executive Vice President of Popcorn Acquisitions and Sexual Harrasment For All You Sunts and Bitches
/fixed