Deadspin
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ...
• "This CP3 guy is on pace for the greatest playoffs debut of any player in history." — hungnguyenesq
Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...
• "After a demoralizing loss at home, Philly has to fly to D.C. and play an away game within 24 hours." — slim 89
• I don't know about you, but that two hour trip down 95 in my Accord always exhausts the shit out of me. — ArkansasFred
• After a completely mundane thought, I have to sit down at my computer and share it with everyone within 24 minutes.—Slimbrains_89 — MerryLander
• Once again, fate deals philly the ultimate cruelty: traveling for an away game. — dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac
Comments
So, over/under on Star Wars jokes for this one...?
CP30 is on pace for the greatest movie debut of any droid in history.
--IamaDork
C3PO was on pace to be one of the most annoying characters in Star Wars History.
-IheartR2D2
This CP3-guy is not the player you're looking for.
--ObiforKobiMVP
"This Hung guy is on pace for the greatest singing debut of any asian nerd in history." - wmhungIdol
"This CP3 guy is on pace for the greatest prayoffs debut of any prayer in history." - hungnguyenesq
@The White Boom Boom: This comment is on pace for the best prediction in history.
CB4 impolitely request you return their black hat. -- protohiphopera91
This CB4 movie is on pace for the greatest debut of any movie that nobody will see about a fake rap group in history. - Iamhungguytoo
My guess is that "hungnguyenesq" is hung like a button mushroom.
@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...: +100. Very Nice.
"This Santonio Holmes guy is on pace for the greatest leaked shower pic in history." --hungsteelerguys
Say "Can I" then spell "cup".
No, you can't see me pee!
Ha! I got ya!
Who's this CP3 guy?
-the idiots who missed the best contemporary basketball season since MJ
This guy is not your fwiend!
- CanadaOnStrike
"This GWB43 guy is on pace for the greatest 8-year start in presidential history." --Cheneysheart32
These mp3s are on pace to for the greatest music storage file in the history of music storing.-PCsucks98
hungnguyenesq - please see Johnson, Magic. Almost a triple double, lead team to championship, was a rookie.
Who's hungnguyen now?
This CB4 film is on pace for the greatest movie debut of any completely unsuccessful, forgettable comedy in history.
-RockNeverScared04
OU812 is on pace to be the best selling Van Hager album in history-garycheronesucks
Magic Johnson, John Lackey and Cam Ward beg to differ.
Hey,this guy's profile isn't even active!
He's a great big phony! A big fat phony!
I see William Hung is making a career change from an annoying "singer" to a stupid, mundane ESPN commenter.
"This CR-V car is on pace for the greatest small SUV debut of any small SUV in history."
-hondaguy
@MrShiz: Son of a...
"This C3PO guy is on pace to be one half of the best gay robot couple in film history." - StarWarsKid
"This Christopher Cross guy is on pace for the greatest Grammy debut of any musician in history." -sailingtakemeaway
"This is the greatest time in the history of the world for exaggerations" -JOliver
This Hungngyunenesq guy is on pace for the worst featured comment debut in history.
Uh, assuming you are using some sort of objective criteria, I think Wilt has this locked up:
33.2 25.8 2.1, not to mention they didn't count blocked shots.
/basketballstatsgeek
This CT-941 Tax Form is going to be the latest tax payment of any tax payment in history.
-Canigetanextension?
@André Roussimoff: Hidden Sorority Shower Cams, Vol. 38 would beg to differ.
I had nothing beyond C3PO and CB4. Well played, all.
"MC5's Kick Out The Jams is on pace for one of the most ridiculous debuts of any record in rock history." --lbangsinrollinstone
"This DP girl is on pace for the greatest porn debut of anybody in history." - 2hungguys
Salt is salty. -pattonoswaltesq
@MrShiz: very nice :18.3 10.5 9.4 and the chip, so if we factor that into the equation, I would give it to Earvin.
@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...: Although I agree with you, I have the feeling our WWL commenter friend would back Santonio.
"This CPUSA is on pace for the greatest fifth column of any party in history."
-jmccarthyesq
"This Jesus guy is on pace to really shake things up here and change history."
-PontiusP
I'm just tripping off the fact that the name almost anagrams to Gunshy Queen.
@futuremrsrickankiel: Gimme your lunch money, nerd!
/slams self against locker
"You a big William Hung fan?"
"Why does everybody ask me that? Who the hell is that?"
"This CPO Sharkey show is on pace for the greatest sit-com debut of any sit-com in history." - HugeDonRicklesFan
@futuremrsrickankiel: Herschel Walker understands what you're going through.
"This CPA fellow is on pace to save me hundreds in deferred interest payments." -mortgagegonnakillme
"Is this CP3 guy anything like the helmet-wearing first-base guy Rickey used to play with in Toronto?" -- RickeyHendersonisRickeyHenderson
Also, @André Roussimoff: Well done, sir. +1 from Packer.
Not only is mr nguyen a nerd (we assume, unfairly), making an hyperbolic post, but he's also a lawyer (esq).
How many strikes is that?
This CPU is on pace for the greatest TRS-80 debut of any processing unit in history.
-- NotSoPopularInJuniorHigh
This craigslist post is on pace for the greatest personal ad in the history of the world.
--hungngayesq
"ICUP"
--Chuck Berry
"This Robert Edwards guy is on pace to have a good NFL career." -onlypatsfanpre01
Okay, dick and fart jokes aside for one minute. From Espn's website: This profile is not active. If you know hungnguyenesq's e-mail address and want to invite them to activate their Fan Profile, click here.
THEM and Their? This is more than one person? When did the Enhlish language get so goddamned complicated?!!
THEM/THEY/THEIR MEANS MORE THAN ONE PERSON, you fucking idiots. Stop uisng "they" to mean "him or her". FUCK.
This CP3 chick is kinda hot, and can ball too.-SoonToBeForgottenCandaceParker
This UB40 record is on pace to be the greatest British release of all time.
-HMILLSMC
These GN'R guys are on pace for the greatest debut album of any band in history.--13in'87esq.
@Sucko-T: Cross-comment to Nat'l Spelling Bee pyramid.
Who is this CP3 guy?
/Atlanta Hawks management
@iHaveaRagingTebowner: it's actually now politically correct to use them and their in the singular i believe. someone stupid decided this.
This WD40 is on pace to be the best squeak stopper in my garage. --UnderDaHood69
If you haven't rubbed one out to 'droid porn, you haven't lived.
This JP2 guy is on pace to have the greatest Papacy in history. - 1970s observer
"This TIVO thing is on pace for the greatest debut of any invention in history." - hunguponcommercials
"This team we played last night is on pace to be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked." --PinPals96
@Agamemnon Busmalis: And Chinese Democracy is on pace to suck sometime after Axl's death in 2021.
"Water into Wine? This JC guy is on pace to be the greatest Messiah Bartender in history,"
-thrstyxjew
This Enron CEO guy is on pace for the greatest debut of any corporate visionary in history. - lostmyassinstocksandretirement
I'm not insecure; I just wanted to choose a screen name that informs everyone that I have a big penis and am a lawyer. -- hungnguyenesq