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If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that we're not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told us hoops earrings were her thing and we weren't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh our parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and we had to pretend like we didn't even like them and ... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium! We never told anybody that because we are such a good friend!
Ok, so we're all here 'cause of this book, right? Well, we don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.
If you are sorry you laughed that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble's , you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.
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Comments
I just can't seem to parlay that post into a Santonio Holmes cock joke.
What's this? Word Vomit?
@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Boo, you whore.
We will keep you Deadspin commenters here all night if we have to.
Quit trying to make fetch happen
@Suss--: We will keep you here till 5:30.
I'm a mouse!
Duh.
Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Huh? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just STAB CAESAR!
So can Pacman Jones.
"I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night."
"We can't keep them past four."
"I will keep you here until four."
/Rachael McHottie Pants
Two candy grams for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco! And Santonio, what do we have for you? A ten inch cock! You go Santonio!
If you're from Africa, why are you white?
@Its The Beer Talking: Dammit, a quick check of IMDB shows that I got the quote wrong. It's actually 4:00.
I'll just drink this glass of paint thinner and be on my way.
@Suss--: FUCK!
Wait, Coors Light is a sponsor?
Mmm, Lohan.
Her dad invented the toaster strudel!
I finally got one of these advertiser posts, and it had to be this movie.
I'm not sure which is hotter... today's rehab outpatient, willing to do just about anyone Lindsey Lohan with a mad repuatation for being a freak in bed or yesterdays coming into her own and where did you get those boobs you must be so sweet and innocent want to come into my van for some candy Lindsey Lohan.
Whatever I'd nail them both. Firecrotch would do things to me like I've only imagined... or watched in porno.
@MickelsonsManBoobs: Oh my God MickelsonsManBoobs, you can't just ask people why they're white
Trang Pak is a skeezy biotch.
@Chuck Knoblockhead:
you're fabulous, but you're evil
Did anyone else hear that Rick Chandler pushed Will Leitch in front of that bus?
Alissa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're gap-toothed.
@Doyle McPoyle: I share your pain. and I'll take the "where did those come from" Lohan if you want the "Heroin chic" one....
Erin Andrews knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone. That's why her hair is so big; it's full of secrets.
How pathetic it is that I never know these movies and I do today. Maybe my name DOES mean something!
P.S. I would nail Tina Fey in a New York Minute.
@Lindsay Lohans Left Boob: It would take me only 30 seconds.
@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: That's why I'm voting for Rick for Spring Fling queen.
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