Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose between your drinking game with The Internet Is For Zorn and Bleacher Report. The latter recommends Chad Johnson trade speculation for boozing, but I'm going with Jeremy Shockey and Jason Taylor.

A few quick hits as I prepare four posts about the Steelers' pick at 23:

Just in time, Dickipedia has added a Mel Kiper, Jr. entry. No doubt some of his curt comments to Todd McShay will flesh that out by the end of the day.
Already, Jake Long is making designs on his sizeable contract. And oooooohhhhhhweeeee, he's buying a Ford. Even though his daddy works for GMC. Least interesting rebellion ever. You work for Budweiser, dad? Well, here's Coors Light in your eye!
Marvel at the throbbing excitement that is the Cleveland Browns' war room. The Power and the Glory soundtrack makes an soporific scene enticing.
And, yes, Jets fans are bracing for the worst. And, failing that, bewbs!
(Pic credit to The700Level)

12:15 PM on Sat Apr 26 2008
By Christmas Ape
1,604 views
21 comments

Comments

Greek McPapadopoulos at 12:31 PM on 04/26/08
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"Every time Emmitt Smith uses a word that isn't actually a word…drink!"

So they want us to get shitfaced before the draft actually starts?
Brazil Thrill at 12:31 PM on 04/26/08
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Prior to [Kiper's] big board's appearance on internet, Kiper would physically attach players names to a large white board with dollops of excess hair gel.

That Mel Kiper Jr. Dickipedia entry is nothing short of awesome.
Herbies_Wingman at 12:32 PM on 04/26/08
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rumors swirling of Saints jumping up to the 8th spot, and Ravens dropping to the 10th spot to pick Chad Henne....yeah a Michigan QB is just what they need (see: Elvis Grbac)
TheStarterWife at 12:33 PM on 04/26/08
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Can't ESPN just show a rerun of last year's draft? Watching Brady wait and wait and wait...
JB* at 12:37 PM on 04/26/08
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@TheStarterWife: Not permitted under the terms of the Met-RX commercials.
Chief Wahoo at 12:39 PM on 04/26/08
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@TheStarterWife: I've rarely laughed harder than I did when the Dolphins picked Ted Ginn, Jr. That was spectacular.
peytonloveskenny at 12:41 PM on 04/26/08
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@Herbies_Wingman: I'd be cool with the Ravens picking a mediocre QB in the first round.
Whitey Fisk at 12:41 PM on 04/26/08
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Here's "Deadspin, brought to you by Coors Light" in your eye.
JB* at 12:43 PM on 04/26/08
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@Chief Wahoo: But with Quinn they may be picking third today!
Innings Eater at 12:47 PM on 04/26/08
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With the fourth pick in the NFL draft, the Oakland Raiders select Tommy Blake, Defensive End, Texas Christian University...

Come on, Al. You can do it! You want to do it!
Signal to Noise at 12:47 PM on 04/26/08
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Ah, another year of probable disappointment as Mike Shanahan drafts another couple cases of character issues on the first day.

@Chief Wahoo: that was good for the reactions of Kiper, Berman, et al alone. They were slamming teams for passing on him and were in shock.
BigTenObsession at 12:49 PM on 04/26/08
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@Whitey Fisk:

Right on time, since I was wondering what to use for my NFL Draft drinking games
Disgruntled Goat at 12:50 PM on 04/26/08
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God, I'm desperate for football. I actually watched the whole Browns War Room thing.

@Chief Wahoo: I hope Phil sent Randy Muller a fruit basket after that.
Herbies_Wingman at 12:50 PM on 04/26/08
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@Chief Wahoo: I still laugh when Jim Mandich (radio color guy for Dolphins and Michigan All-American TE) said before the pick that if they didnt draft Quinn he would go into the draft room and punch Cameron in the mouth.

Note: Mandich also put on a ND hat and had the crowd singing the ND fight song in anticipation at the draft party
Roy Hobbs at 12:57 PM on 04/26/08
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I just never get tired of watching the Jets draft montage.
She Blinded Me With... at 12:59 PM on 04/26/08
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Wonder where that ax-murdering derelict McFadden will go?

/sick of ESPN
//shocking, I know
Enrico at 12:59 PM on 04/26/08
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Hey! I took that picture at last year's draft.

Notice the kick ass computer background of Sheldon Brown owning REggie Bush.

[www.the700level.com]
44 in a Row at 01:00 PM on 04/26/08
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I just never get tired of watching the Jets draft montage.

Oooh, thanks for reminding me. I haven't watched it yet this afternoon. "Fullback... from Texas A&M..." "OH NO!"
Chief Wahoo at 01:08 PM on 04/26/08
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@Herbies_Wingman: Never heard that, funny stuff.
Yostal at 01:31 PM on 04/26/08
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@Herbies_Wingman: Come on, Chad Henne is a fine pick. It's not his fault that, before the Ohio State game, when he was injected with a cortisone shot to fix this shoulder after he separated it in the Illinois game, it hit a nerve and numbed Henne's hand. Look at the Florida game. Henne to Baltimore would be a great fit.
She Blinded Me With... at 01:34 PM on 04/26/08
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Odds on the phrase "a Long day" being in ESPN.com's front page headline or in their Featured Comment: 1/2