What to watch while equipping your phone with a rape whistle...

  • In Progress: NBA Playoffs: Spurs at Suns [ABC] Can the Suns really push it to a meaningless Game 5?
  • Movie: Spaceballs, 5 p.m. [Comedy Central] Even in the future nothing works.
  • NBA Playoffs: Pistons at Sixers, 7 p.m. [TNT] Just one little first-round upset. Please?
  • TV: The Simpsons, 8 p.m. [FOX] Eh, it's new.
  • MLB: Angels at Tigers, 8 p.m. [ESPN] Justin Verlander already had his one quality start for the season.
  • NHL Playoffs: Stars at Sharks, 9 p.m. [Versus]
  • NBA Playoffs: Hornets at Mavs, 9:30 p.m. [TNT] See how many dimes Josh Howard gives out. BECAUSE HE LIKES TO GET HIGH! ZING!