Scouts, Inc. Would Like You TO RELAX

espn%20draft%20chat.jpg
Ian from Sox & Dawgs sends over this screengrab of a tetchy exchange during ESPN's draft chat. What could Samantha in Atlanta be so interested in finding out? Determining how screwed the Falcons are with Matty Ice? Whether Al Horford can transfer his anger to the game of football?

How exactly was Samantha able to "run off" Ken Moll? Is there some flaming stick and pitchfork application their site allows? They didn't start chasing him until he started playing that getaway music anyway.

5:00 PM on Sun Apr 27 2008
By Christmas Ape
10,645 views
27 comments

Comments

The Fan’s Attic at 05:05 PM on 04/27/08
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Connectedness Index: 370

I'd never have expected him to Moll over like that.
Sherrill-Theory at 05:07 PM on 04/27/08
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How do you sleep at night?

Vicoden.
She Blinded Me With... at 05:10 PM on 04/27/08
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So after roughly 18 hours of draft coverage, I'm still confused. What's more important, intangibles or ball skills?
DAGOTRON at 05:11 PM on 04/27/08
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I agree. You should always be agressive with Aces.
André Roussimoff at 05:11 PM on 04/27/08
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I don't know, I always thought Martin Mull was a pretty good actor, no reason to flip out on him like that.
I Party With 33765-183 at 05:11 PM on 04/27/08
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Connectedness Index: 91

How do you sleep at night?

Well, I have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean.

(And yes, that was a Hugh Grant movie quote, why do you ask?)
I Party With 33765-183 at 05:12 PM on 04/27/08
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@She Blinded Me With Violence: Intangible ball skills.
JB* at 05:13 PM on 04/27/08
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How do you sleep at night?

On my side, courtesy of bourbon.
RashaanEnis at 05:14 PM on 04/27/08
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So, Samantha apparently was less than receptive to his offers to Mollify her? Is that what I am to understand?
DAGOTRON at 05:14 PM on 04/27/08
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Ken Moll and Frankie Goes to Hollywood have never been in the same place at the same time. Discuss.
She Blinded Me With... at 05:16 PM on 04/27/08
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@I Party With Ookie Cooke On Draft Day: That was not one of your choices.

And I too have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean, Hugh Grant movie quote be damned.
Brazil Thrill at 05:23 PM on 04/27/08
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Al Horford and Tim Tebow once had a fistfight. Scientists today call the event "The Big Bang".
Rob Iracane at 05:30 PM on 04/27/08
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How do you sleep at night?

On a pile of Monopoly money. Scouts Inc doesn't pay that much.
Suss-- at 05:33 PM on 04/27/08
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I'd have to look at more ESPN chats, but what I can tell you is that Scouts. Inc does a consistent job of being consistent in their answering.
Fugees-and-Funyuns at 05:34 PM on 04/27/08
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It's hard to sleep when you have your face buried in a mountain of coke. RELAX, RELAX! MY NOSE IS BLEEDING AHHHH!
Grimey at 05:42 PM on 04/27/08
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How do you sleep at night? How do you sleep at ni-i-i-ight?

How did the Scouts Inc. cat get so fat?

+ Watch video
amorphous at 05:44 PM on 04/27/08
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Isn't Ken Moll aware that excessive run-off leads to erosion?

Why do you hate the earth, Ken Moll?
Le Légende de Vincent... at 05:56 PM on 04/27/08
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well, now we know how ESPN advises chat hosts to politely say "Fuck this shit. Show's over."
Senators Lost Cojones at 05:57 PM on 04/27/08
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Dear Samantha,

My aces are both energetic and industrious. Call me.
Raskolnikov at 06:03 PM on 04/27/08
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Moll's going back to St. John's of God.
spinachdip at 06:14 PM on 04/27/08
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I remember when Rounders first came out, they promoted the fuck out of Gretchen Mol, to the point where previews said something like "...and introducing Gretchen Mol". But the film tanked and was never seen again until Bill Simmons started masturbating to it.

Then she was supposed to break out again in David E. Kelly's big post-Ally McBeal hit Girls Club. I don't remember how that one worked out.
metalmaniac at 06:50 PM on 04/27/08
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@Sherrill-Theory: I prefer the eyes closed method, myself.
jisrael1 at 07:30 PM on 04/27/08
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How do you sleep at night?

On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies

/McBain FTW
starksgotejected at 08:20 PM on 04/27/08
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Samantha once ran me off a Top Chef chat. That chick is fucking vicious.
Convict78 at 09:22 PM on 04/27/08
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@ Sherrill-Theory: apparently you've never taken Vicodin. That shit keep you high as a kite and ready to roll, not ready to sleep. Get your drugs right!

/Brett Favre
$Image of Zapp Brannigan\'s Girdle$ Zapp Brannigan's Girdle at 02:41 AM on 04/28/08
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@starksgotejected: Samantha once ran me off a Top Chef chat. That chick is fucking vicious.

Not even having Padma Lakshmi taking "personal" requests from the chatters justifies one's presence in a Top Chef chat.
DumpDolan at 01:41 PM on 04/28/08
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They had an earlier comment about how they have hundreds of thousands of comments to choose from. Don't know why that one made the cut.