Marvin Lewis has the seemingly insurmountable task of changing the Bengals' from one of the most clink-happy and character-deprived football teams in league history to something ... better. Chris Henry is gone, but the scars still remain. The attitude and atmosphere has to change in 2008, so the Bengals took an extreme step on Sunday when they drafted Appalachian State's Corey Lynch in the sixth round.

Lynch is a holy roller incarnate, a player who organized the team bible study at Appalachian State and who's also married to the granddaughter of evangelist Billy Graham. This man loooves lil' baby Jesus and isn't afraid to show others the error of their deviant ways. The senior safety wasn't surprised the Bengals would need his services this season — both on and off the field:

"They are trying to turn things around so I was kind of expecting they'd take me.Talk is cheap. Live right and everything will be good."

This is an epic battle of good versus evil. We'll know who won at the end of the season if some of the more trouble-making Bengals have transformed themselves into altar boys — or Lynch is popped for a DUI within his first two weeks of training camp.

And With The 17th Pick In the Sixth Round... [AppFan]

5:01 PM on Mon Apr 28 2008
By DAULERIO
6,610 views
43 comments

Comments

ClueHeywood at 05:09 PM on 04/28/08
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I'll take Odell Thurman for the win, A.J.
Slothrop at 05:09 PM on 04/28/08
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Connectedness Index: 284

10 to 1 he's hooked on goofballs by the end of minicamp.
Pretty Much Just... at 05:09 PM on 04/28/08
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But will it blend?
Jefferson Short Bus at 05:10 PM on 04/28/08
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Roger Goodell suspended Jesus for four weeks for letting Lynch be drafted by the Bengals.
HebrewHammer at 05:10 PM on 04/28/08
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So that's how they beat Michigan last year. The Rockies approve.
Sheepblog at 05:12 PM on 04/28/08
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I bet he ends up in a three way with his wife and Mindy McCready.

Now THATS country music!
the-Bored at 05:12 PM on 04/28/08
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They give out rings for 1-AA...excuse me, FCS championships?
Secret Identity at 05:13 PM on 04/28/08
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Dwight Howard would agree completely, but he has to change his illegitimate child's diaper.
ArkansasFred at 05:13 PM on 04/28/08
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Connectedness Index: 141

I'd rather laugh with the sinners....
Stev D at 05:15 PM on 04/28/08
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Connectedness Index: 180

Finally, a pro athlete willing to go out on a limb and evangelize.
UkraineNotWeak at 05:15 PM on 04/28/08
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By the end of the first day of training camp, Corey Lynch will be taped naked to the goalpost
Arriaga_II at 05:15 PM on 04/28/08
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This just in...Bengals rookie tackle Jason Shirley has gotten hammered and run Corey Lynch down with his car.
DennyCrane at 05:15 PM on 04/28/08
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Makes me wish Charlie Ward was traded to the Jail Blazers.
Chaunceyshammy at 05:16 PM on 04/28/08
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Cincinasty: converting do gooders to hedonism since 1813
The Fake Gimel Martinez at 05:17 PM on 04/28/08
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Odds that Chad Johnson ends his trade demands, celebrates TDs with a simple kneel prayer, and gets a new set of grillz that have "CHAD LUVZ JESUS" inscribed with diamonds: 15 to 1

Odds that Corey Lynch is listed on the IR due to a snake-handling accident at church: 14 to 1
A Pimp Named DaveR at 05:17 PM on 04/28/08
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Fast-forward:
(doodly doodly doodly)

October 2008: Corey Lynch arrested for statutory rape after going anal on a 15-year-old girl during a meth binge....
Flαmεtown at 05:18 PM on 04/28/08
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Have fun being sodomized in the shower, big guy.
MattinglysSideburns at 05:18 PM on 04/28/08
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More like the Sinsinnati Bengals! Am I right people???
Paul Zuvella at 05:19 PM on 04/28/08
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He'll get knocked out in the first practice after he drinks Jobu's rum
HazelMaesLandingStrip at 05:20 PM on 04/28/08
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A trip to a strip club with a trash bag full of money will change all of this.
Glass_Family at 05:20 PM on 04/28/08
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Corey Lynch can walk on the Ohio River.

Well, ok, anyone can, due to the amount of raw sewage.
dont-forget-where-you-... at 05:20 PM on 04/28/08
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Dude, pigskin. That's a big no-no.
Weed Against Speed at 05:21 PM on 04/28/08
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After the Bengals get through with him, this guy is going to make Corey Haim and Corey Feldman look like Boy Scouts.
DennyCrane at 05:21 PM on 04/28/08
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I think the whole team should just worship Jobu.
Sucko-T at 05:24 PM on 04/28/08
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He still won't get to play with a Johnson.

/dick joke
Max Power at 05:24 PM on 04/28/08
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But can he, yknow, play football?
David Hume at 05:26 PM on 04/28/08
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He does know he's a 6th round draft pick from a 1AA school, right?
ArkansasFred at 05:26 PM on 04/28/08
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Connectedness Index: 141

He also looks like Tedy Bruschi, which is more annoying than his in-your-face sanctimony.
Yostal at 05:26 PM on 04/28/08
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...

[/precluded about making any jokes about Appalachian State players until September 1, 2008.]
And_You_Shall_Know_Me_... at 05:27 PM on 04/28/08
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I feel like this ends somehow with Odell Thurman braining him with a bowling pin.
Weed Against Speed at 05:29 PM on 04/28/08
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How is he going to make it church on Sundays now?
MeanMachine at 05:30 PM on 04/28/08
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Beer is MY co-pilot.
UkraineNotWeak at 05:35 PM on 04/28/08
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Things will definitely change when he discovers that Paulie Shore is his RA.
dont-forget-where-you-... at 05:37 PM on 04/28/08
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@ArkansasFred:

he also looks like Peter Deluise circa 21 Jumpstreet.
Adonis at 05:51 PM on 04/28/08
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Bengals v. God?

... I suppose I've got to take God, but if Vegas starts the line too high, I think I'm wagering on Cincinatti.
grungedave at 06:07 PM on 04/28/08
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Not even Job was tested by God this much.
suntastic at 06:42 PM on 04/28/08
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@A Pimp Named DaveR: +1 for the sound effects.
Tiger_Tanaka at 07:03 PM on 04/28/08
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They sure dole out the bling at App State. One's for beating Michigan, the other is for not sleeping with your cousin.
Laser Guided at 07:37 PM on 04/28/08
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him showing up at training camp will be kinda like when they put that cow in the raptor pen in Jurassic Park.
icanthelpitimfromboston at 08:58 PM on 04/28/08
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Best case scenario:
Corey Lynch walks into the locker room with a bible in one hand and a cross in the other, claiming that the team is going to get "Lynched" (because hillbilly evangelists like including their names in shit so people remember it, because they think they're sermons are prophetic) and then Odell Thurman is going to kill him using only his left thumb.
EditorOfTheDailyFaberian at 09:10 PM on 04/28/08
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@Secret Identity: Actualy, Dwight Howard's lawyer pays someone to handle that.
D.B. Cooper-Nichol at 11:44 PM on 04/28/08
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Hi-diddily-ho Carsorino!

Kitna was bad enough. This joker thinks he's not only saintly, but good at football too.
AppFan at 07:01 AM on 04/29/08
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@Max Power:

At his Pro Day, he ran a 3.99 in the short shuttle, which was faster than every corner in the draft

The Mountaineers' safety gained national attention by blocking a kick that sealed ASU's upset win over Michigan in the season opener, going on to record 111 tackles (71 solo) in 15 games. He made three stops behind the line of scrimmage, caused two fumbles and recovered another. He again led the team and Southern Conference with six interceptions and also batted away eleven throws. He blocked three kicks, returning a blocked punt 33 yards.

So yeah, he can play.