"That is what Buzz should've said to Al Gore a long time ago, to end the internet forever." -Wilbon

This is what the confederacy should have done in Atlanta to end Sherman's march.-robertelee'd

This is what I should have posted instead of my first featured comment -GO SAWX

Iraq war statement coming down in 3...2...1...

Water: it's wet! -Dagoat3224

You mean they're supposed to try to win every game???

See this is why blogs are no good...they move too fast!!

Hey, he had a featured comment last week.

[deadspin.com]

GAH! That's what I should have said! -JerkStore3224

this is what the Union should have done to Atlanta to end the war in 4
- Shermanator1864

"Celtic Frost should definetly do an American tour, with a stop in Atlanta"
-BlackMetalOfficiandoandTruepronunciationoftheword'Celtic'

@sassydeerrun: another history major, eh?

This is the comment ESPN should have featured as I have a hard time believing the others could be any dumber.

This is what K-Fed should have done to his vas deferens to end the children with Britney at 1.

"This is what Avery's spleen should have done to end his season in October." - DaGahden3224

"THIS is what the Celtics should have done in Atlanta." --WilliamTecumsehSherman1864

Dear God, dagoat returns!

"When the Celtics play like that, it makes me wonder why they didn't get a first round bye." - SimmonswritesSCRIPTURE

Tecumseh's a popular guy today! And this is an impressive streak for the Big Dago, two WWL featured comments in a week.

"This is what Richard Jewell should have done in Atlanta to end the Olympics forever."

--OlympicsAreBoring

This is what Bush read in Florida and finished before leaving --mypetgoat911

This is what Roger Clemens should have done to keep his harem out of the press.

- Roger Clemens

"This is what Left Eye should have done in Atlanta to get Andre Rison's house paid off." --ainttooproudtolightamatch

@Doyle McPoyle: Dagoat, dagoat, dagoat is on fire.

This is what the vet should've done to Barbaro to end the saga early--dsreader

This is what Patrick Ewing should have done in Atlanta to get four blowjobs instead of two. -goldclub4eva

This.... is the fuck!

-- PECOTA

What is worse? Being ESPN's featured commenter...twice? Or being Deadspin commenter who recognizes said ESPN commenter?

"This is what two girls did that resulted in me losing my lunch in four seconds." -- poopin1cup

"The Celtics should have the won the games they did not win. Then they would not have lost those games."

-dasheep69

"This is what those consarn Yankees should have done to Atlanta to end the war in four." - civilwarsurvivor01

The Celtics looked awful in Atlanta, then great in Boston. I don't get it. -- Bryan V21

This...is...Jeopardy!!!

--trebeksdrunkagain

@A Pimp Named DaveR: well played

" Lifting up is what I should have done to open the airplane seatbelt, not attempt to tear the belt" - JSeinfeld

@Sucko-T:

Yes, because he's the GOAT. Sorry, Da GOAT.

And he has two friends on ESPN, one named dickrascher who has these words of wisdom as a quote:

The Herd with Colin Cowherd is hilarious. I highly recommend going to his sign on ESPN radio and listen to a couple of soundbites, you will be hooked!

I'm hoping that's sarcasm and dickrascher is someone from here.

/dickrascher joke

@Sucko-T: Can't the man rest in peace?

(Meanwhile, Eric Rudolph thinks he has built his tower to heaven.)

"This is what the Celts should have done in Alesia to end the Roman siege."--DagaulMMMCCXXIV

This is what Rob Lowe should've done in Atlanta to avoid that statutory rape charge. --Hookerat3224

@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: a lot of commenters are repeaters. it's a given that most of them are ESPN interns.

@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: Oh, I've wasted my life.

This is what Christopher should have done to Adriana when he found out she was helping the Feds in season 4.

- DagoTSoprano

If the Celtics wanted to win in 4 they should have scored more points than the Hawks in each of the games when the time expired. --Dagoat3224

@The Diesel: "This is what Iran should have done in the Iran-Iraq War to finish Saddam in the 90's"?

Wait, there's another Iraq war?

"This is what the "Celtics" should have "done" in "Atlanta" to "end" the "series" in "four"."
-Daquote3224

@The Gizmo from Pismo: You can throw out all the Featured Comments of the Day, it all comes down to shortstack's next offering. Go Cubs!

"winning>losing"-SoxFanSince04

"I enjoy making generalized statements about situations I have no control over." - Dagoat3224

This is what the Pats should have done in the Super Bowl to finish their perfect season

DA GOAT RETURNS!!!

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...:

I don't feel too bad for Jewell, he got $500,000 from NBC and an undisclosed amount from the New York Post. Now that's responsible journalism.

"This is what I should have done on TV to end the blogosphere before."
-Buzz Bissinger

@Doyle McPoyle:

I've thought about giving out prizes to people with the best icons, but in order to do so I'd need to be as wealthy as your icon (kayfabe)

Props!

This is what Ronaldo meant when he said we had "manly" personalities.-ChicksWithDicks

"Suspending Perkins and Williams is what Stern should have done in Atlanta to enforce the rules consistently." -- DantonistillbitteraboutAmareandBoris3224

"This is what I should have done more of in Seattle before I ended my life at 27." --HendrixIsExperienced

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...: The only towers that dumpster diving bomb exploding scumbag sees is gun towers

The Celtics' strategy should have been to win in Atlanta, not to lose. They made the correction and won Game 5. - Returnofdagoat

"This is how Ray Lewis should have handled his business in Atlanta"
-OJsWhiteBrnco

"Had the Celtics both time-traveled and taken five games to to win a series in four games, I probably would have had to reconsider my whole 'X'- and 'Y'-axis theory." - ReneDescartes

This is the way you kill a ho! - GTAIV

"This is what Tom Glavis should have done in New York to clinch the division." - Jimmy Rollins

*glavine. way to eff that up

@teh_joe: Tom Glavis...lol

If Woody would have gone right to the police, this would have never have happened.
-CaptObvious & Sidekick No Shit