Fred Smoot is not impressed

Alonzo Spellman is not impressed

Do you have to swim a straight line?

between 12-15? were there midgets involved?

can they not count the # of people on a 30' boat or were people jumping off the boat to safety, unable to be counted?

@supermike5alive:It's Texas math.

@supermike5alive: It's not like they're real cops.

Gentlemen, get off your knees. Your rich uncle Homer is throwing the wildest box social the high seas have ever seen! And you're invited!

Wait, hold up... you can get arrested for being drunk on a boat in Lake Travis? They're going to need to arrest 75% of the city of Austin.

Benson also was cited for failure to wave.

@supermike5alive: They're the River Authority, otherwise known as Police Academy rejects.

So the float does is "if he floats, he's drunk; if he sinks, he's sober?"

@Slothrop:
wait, what? hangovers are a bitch.

That should read, "So the float test is: 'if he floats, he's drunk; if he sinks, he's sober?'"

/go back to bed stupid

@Slothrop: if he floats he is a witch.

@Slothrop: And if he melts, he's a witch.

@Sid Bream Was Out: Doh!

who failed a sobriety "float test"

His ship be sinking.

Natalie Wood also failed the float test.

Too soon?

@UkraineNotWeak: Marquise Hill would like a word with you...

@Sid Bream Was Out: or a duck

@UkraineNotWeak: Bison Dele doesn't think so.

@UkraineNotWeak: So did Tom Mees. And he was given the test in a pool. Not the ocean, not the ocean, but a pool. We're talking about a pool.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: your new icon needs some puncuation.

@supermike5alive: If by "puncuation" you mean punctuation then yes, I agree. It looked weird with the period in there, though.

I bet he blew higher than his yard per carry average.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: If I did a spit-take on your comment, does that I mean I'm going to hell?

Another sad case of Boating While Black in Texas.

Cedric Benson - he doesn't just sink fantasy teams or the Bears' running attack, folks!

BWI? Why the hell else would you be on a boat if there were no alcohol involved? Its why that America's Cup thing never really gets any attention, well that and the deadly pirate attacks.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: great deductive skills figuring out what i actually meant despite that little typo, detective.

You might think that this is the first time an NFL player has been arrested for drunk sailing.

But, as you might imagine, a Bengal has already beat Benson to it: Eric Steinbach - arrested for sailing while intoxicated.

@Sid Bream Was Out:If Cedric Benson weighs more than a duck, he's a witch...er, drunk.

@supermike5alive: And I thank you for the obvious grammar lesson, professah supahmike.

@sharknut: There's still room in this handbasket, my friend.

@Moobs: He turned me into a newt!

... I got better

I can't believe I named my cat after him.

There's always a job for him in Dallas.

This is unbelievable! I'm shocked!

BWI is a pretty nice airport.

So if he's made of wood, he's drunk? Or would it be sober?

@supermike5alive: Yep, my whole Roloff family accepted an invite from CedBen

So he can't even break cop's tackles...

BWI Thurgood Marshall Airport at Friendship Field is a damn fine airport. It has good bars, too. Except for the Pier-D express gates (US Airways to Philly and NYC). That's like "Langoliers" scary down there.

Im with most Bears fans who think Cedric is a bum. Not only he is a draft bust (at 4th overall), he also was the main reason the Bears let go of Thomas Jones. The two didnt get along, and Ced's the one with character issues.

Ced's arrest isnt the worst NFL "boat offense." You guys remember the infamous Vikings "love boat" scandal?

The float test is inherently racist.